Devine's Bar

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Baron, May 13, 2016.

  1. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    I'm guessing he really wants a cup of Brasso to use as lube.
     
  2. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    Lol no one leaves after just "a drink"
     
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  3. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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  4. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    I guess I should put my shirt back on then huh
     
  5. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    Hi. LCB here.
     
  6. Bo Pelinis

    Donor TMB OG
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    I thought it was LGBT these days nailed it
     
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  7. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    I'm going to need to see that you actually have a penis before I let you run amok in this womens' bathroom
     
  8. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
    Donor

    **puts quarter in juke box**

     
  9. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    Do you have wine from a tap? The golf course I grew up bartending at had chardonnay on tap, and I've developed a taste for it. In a beer glass. Please.
     
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  10. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Tiffin is telling everybody there's a speed dating event tonight.
     
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  11. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    What the fuck man
     
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  12. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    ((takes off wedding ring... grabs Brasso))

    I'm in.
     
  13. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I think he thinks that's where you roofie all the drinks...
     
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  14. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    This was a classy place! It also led to my love of Cutty Sark as a call scotch.
     
    devine likes this.
  15. Tiffin

    Tiffin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    [​IMG]
     
  16. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Now that devine is out of the way for the weekend, I worked all night after the doors closed to make a few small changes to the place. It is my absolute pleasure to introduce you to the new and improved.....Smash Club.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]



    [​IMG]



    Everybody come in on, grab a spot on the dance floor, because tonight appearing live we will have REM.
     
  17. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    Does the espresso machine work?
     
  18. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Of course. Free shots from 4-5 for the early bird special.
     
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  19. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Seriously, we're living the entire episode:

    [​IMG]
     
  20. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Today's special drink is Rebel Tears

    It is a Alabama Slammer shot where after you are done drinking it, a barkeep will kick you in the balls while wes tegg explains why it isn't so bad.
     
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  21. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    I'll have a water.
     
  22. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Sorry, the closest thing we have to water is Coors Light.
     
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  23. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    You're fired
     
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  24. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Get back in the bathroom UncleJesse. i have this bar-tending thing under control.
     
  25. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    That was just a joke. Michelob Ultra is the closest thing we have to water.
     
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  26. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Fancy is watching the bathroom this weekend. I am running the floor for opening night.
     
    Fancy, Tiffin, devine and 1 other person like this.
  27. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    alright, just stay out from the bar, please. let's do a shot!
     
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  28. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    You're digging your hole deeper
     
  29. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
    Donor TMB OG
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    Yes, just not an Alabama Slammer.
     
  30. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    I'm going to stop now. Everything will be put back in place like it was by Monday morning.
     
    devine likes this.
  31. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    I'll have a rum and coke hold the rum.

    ((giggle))
     
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  32. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    starting @ 2pm, any shot will be the price of the time. For you incompetent people that means a shot would be $2.00 at 2:00pm. lets get fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    [​IMG]
     
  33. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    As if we aren't already
     
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  34. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Make that two.
     
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  35. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    You need to drink up buttercup with the morning you had.
     
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  36. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Shiiiiiit. I was drunk before it dropped.
     
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  37. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    You're going to fit in well here
     
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  38. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    I'm getting lit tonight since devine is out of town.
     
    devine likes this.
  39. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Just make sure the espresso machine stays flowing.
     
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  40. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    Pffftt. He just went across town to the Afternoon Crew's
     
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  41. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
    Donor TMB OG
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    ~ taylor ~ By the way, I got you some shitty wine from a tap. Come on in. The box is cold.

    [​IMG]
     
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  42. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    How is that shitty?
     
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  43. Tiffin

    Tiffin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    It's not Sunset Blush.
     
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  44. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Correct.
     
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  45. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
    Donor TMB OG
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  46. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Guys, apparently the REM show has been moved up a couple of hours due to reasons. Show starting now.
     
    devine likes this.
  47. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Baron I just noticed that Tiffin has taken the boxed wine from behind the counter and is spraying it in customers mouths. That stuff wasn't cheap. Please rectify the situation. Thanks - management
     
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  48. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    That nozzle was just in Daddy Rabbit's rectum.
     
  49. Tiffin

    Tiffin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    It's like you guys have never slapped the bag before.
     
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  50. Tony Perkis

    Tony Perkis Living My Best Life
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    Franzia is on sale right now at Publix. Go get more
     
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