Family members around the holidays

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Bo Pelinis, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. Kent Pavelka

    Kent Pavelka Let's pause 10 seconds for station identification
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    I love the holidays especially since we had a kid.

    I'm an asshole and I'll take off now.
     
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  2. Warrant

    Warrant Mrow kitty

    I am dreading the debate on Starbuck's promotional cups in the upcoming weeks. My mom's family is a centralized group of right wing racists who claim to love Jesus. Andthen there's all the talk of how much they love/hate Trump which is bound to make me ram q-tips in my ears. Thank God my Dad's family are the perfect people to be around for the holidays. CFB and/or NFL on every available TV, Clemson Carolina trash talking, and not a single murmur about politics. The perks of the divorce just keep growing!
     
  3. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
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    Holiday threads on TMB are the best.
     
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  4. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    my 1st cousin twice removed (grandma's first cousin i think that's the right nomenclature) was the ceo of some regional bank so we go up to his huge farm land. he had a dining hall built on his land just for the purpose of thanksgiving. tons of good liquor and good beer. football all day

    probably my favorite day of the year
     
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  5. NDfanPSUgrad

    NDfanPSUgrad Well-Known Member
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    Almost 3 years ago our daughter was born. I didn't want to drive all around to a million places. Started our own Thanksgiving tradition. I never would imagine how unpopular of a decision that was with everyone outside of me and my wife and daughter.
     
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  6. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
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    That's when you excuse yourself to the bathroom and just never come back.
     
  7. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    That'll do, Bighead. That'll do.
     
  8. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    This actually sounds like a holiday movie romp.
     
  9. tandin

    tandin Guest

    still call my closest cousin melon head.
     
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  10. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    I heard my stepsister-in-law and my step-aunt (I guess) starting down this road last Thanksgiving. SSIL was like "we vaccinate, but I do it on my own schedule" and the SA responded, "I don't know, it causes autism" and my wife caught my arm as I started to stand up and I just walked out of the room instead of engaging them.
     
  11. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
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    I'm fine with my family, but 2 years ago my Brothers In-Laws were at Thanksgiving. His FIL is an Ex-Marine that still does contract work down in South America. Went on a long speech about how everyone that smokes weed should be thrown in jail. Not sure what provoked this speech.
     
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  12. We$tTxO&G

    We$tTxO&G Well-Known Member
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    I've never seen a post mirror my life as much as this one. It's fucking brutal going to the lake or beach with them and not having a cold beer the entire time. Fortunately my fiance knows how ridiculous that is and I usually bring some titos vodka to get my by.
     
  13. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
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    .
     
    #63 ashy larry, Nov 13, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2021
  14. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
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    .
     
    #64 ashy larry, Nov 13, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2021
  15. fsugrad99

    fsugrad99 I'm the victim here
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    My favorite annual thread
     
  16. kslim

    kslim Guest

  17. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    My MIL and FIL doen't drink, but my BILs do a little so it is okay. Last Christmas I spent with them my BIL's wife left a half gallon of vodka in the car for us to put in drinks. It was nice.
     
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  18. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    Yea, fuck that. Luckily the two weddings I've been at for her family so far did not believe in that bullshit.
     
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  19. fsugrad99

    fsugrad99 I'm the victim here
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    Who was it with the relative with all the nazi paraphernalia?
     
  20. Koby Salman

    Koby Salman Well-Known Member

    impressive
     
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  21. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Mines a nazi.....whats up?
     
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  22. Pharoh

    Pharoh king tuttchdown
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    Reading everything ITT, I feel rather fortunate to have a family (mostly) full of drinking potheads
     
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  23. ramszoolander

    ramszoolander Known for Buns
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    Probably had a friend who overdosed on weed. T&P's.
     
  24. Fuzzy Zoeller

    Fuzzy Zoeller College football > NFL
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    We're having my wife's family at our house this year.

    My wife's aunt hasn't had a job all year and has bilked my wife's grandmother out of at least $50,000 this year. Wouldn't be shocked if it's closer to $100,000. My in-laws have tried to help, but the grandmother is the biggest enabler on the planet. I can already see this ending with the grandmother living to 105, burning through her savings, my wife's parents supporting her, and me strangling the aunt.

    Anyway, it's just my wife's parents, her brother and wife, and then the aunt and grandmother. Should be fun.
     
  25. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
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    Guess so. Really killed my high when I just wanted to chill and watch football. Saying that the State of Colorado was doing ok after legalizing it didn't help.
     
  26. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Thanksgiving Weed sounds like a really good idea
     
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  27. Bo Pelinis

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    Yeah rookie move on my part.
     
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  28. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    My aunt Jenny hasn't worked in years. Talks about "the man" all the time. Lives off of grants and student loans. She's 55. 5 or 6 degrees ( none of them involve skills that will make money) . This past year, she finally ran out of companies that would lend her money. Isn't worried about paying it off bc she just have it taken out of here state when she passes.
     
  29. OopsPowSurprise

    OopsPowSurprise Owed one ass kicking from poweshow
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    Going to a friends thanksgiving

    As for Christmas it'll be the first time in years most of us will be together for Christmas. That'll be fun
     
  30. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    How is this even possible? Just keeps getting Pell grants to get more useless degrees?
     
  31. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    Gov't will give money forever. They know they'll collect.
     
  32. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    There is no way to collect from her.
     
  33. ryno23

    ryno23 Well-Known Member
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    Wife and I rotate Thanksgiving and Christmas each year with our families. Hers was mentioned previously in this thread. My family lives in town so we grub, drink, watch a little football and then head to the house or bar. A total of 4 hours or so and we are done. So much easier and less stressful.
     
  34. panchoswanson

    panchoswanson Well-Known Member

    5 or 6 years ago, there was a blizzard on Christmas Eve. Roads were closed, so I got trapped at my parents house with no electricity. After coming in from feeding cows and chopping ice, I thought my no heat and no tv day was pretty shitty, until my brother called. He was whispering, drunk, and hiding in a closet with a bottle of blackberry brandy. I'll relay the story as best as he slurred it to me.

    His in-laws were there. They're from Santa Barbara and were commenting about how beautiful the snow was. He had enough of that and told them that every farmer, rancher, utilities worker, city employee, etc. was working in a blizzard on Christmas and it was selfish to sit on their ass calling this bullshit blizzard "pretty". He retired to the basement to drink in peace and watch games, but at some point, he heard someone upstairs yell "FIRE! FIRE!" followed by screaming. His first thought, he told me, was "fuck it, burn it down." It turns out his father in law had laid a newspaper down on a candle, which ended up burning the arm of the couch. It was put out by dragging it outside into the snow. After they ate, his bitch of a sister in law was upset that no one ate any of the birthday cake she made for Jesus, so he soothed her feelings by telling her he wasn't gonna eat any of her fucking desserts on other birthdays. And then he called me from his closet.
     
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  35. backinblack23

    backinblack23 Bang Biscut
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    My side is pretty tamest the in-laws are always a trip. FIL doesn't say much but when his packers are on he is that guy that comments on everything and yells "get em" all the time. He know nothing about football besides Aron Rogers is a stud and he calls all the black players LeRoy. MIL is a straight basket case who doesn't help do anything but wants to critique everything. She's a hoarder also and doesn't want to waste anything so one year we caught her eating food out of the trash can in our house that I just threw away. Sister in law and her husband don't discipline their kids so they run around like hooligans and talk back to everyone. BIL over disciplines his kids and freaks over the smallest thing, always complains we never visit them, well maybe because your house is a shit hole and the in-laws house is a total hoarder house.
     
  36. buy_dont_lease

    buy_dont_lease Ha ha ha. What a story, Mark.
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    You wife sounds like she has a lot of genetic obstacles to overcome. Keep an eye on that.
     
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  37. backinblack23

    backinblack23 Bang Biscut
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    Oh believe me, they show up once and awhile and I just wonder.
     
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  38. skeezy

    skeezy what is this? meowschwitz?
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    Would throw things at them. You're a better man than i
     
  39. blotter

    blotter Aristocratic Bum
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    my uncle started popping off about Obama last Thanksgiving, how he's destroying the country or whatever. I'm hearing it, but just was playing some sort of game with my 3 y/o cousin. then it turned into how Obama (probably) had a hand in 9/11 and I couldn't help it, i just started laughing. some were keeping quiet, others were sympathetic to his ranting, but everyone started to look at me which made me laugh harder. had no shame about the whole thing. picked my cousin up over my head and went outside still laughing
     
  40. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    I've provided a lot of fodder for this thread in the past, mainly around me clogging the toilet at my in-laws (they didn't have a plunger and my FIL had to knock on their neighbors' doors to try and find one before he eventually drove to Target to buy one, all while I was sitting over my steaming pile of shit) last Thanksgiving and my MIL being insufferable. Will post more this Thanksgiving.
     
  41. Koby Salman

    Koby Salman Well-Known Member

    I would have reached in and ripped the shit out instead of having to go through that
     
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  42. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    What the fuck?
     
  43. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    what kind of mongoloid are you
     
  44. Koby Salman

    Koby Salman Well-Known Member

    FUCK OFF
     
  45. LookslikeUofI

    LookslikeUofI Well-Known Member
    Chicago CubsSt. Louis Blues

    Just googled "getting this monkey out of office" thinking it was a saying like "not my circus".... It's not... Instead it links to unbelievable racist websites
     
  46. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    agreed to eat at the church "harvest dinner" today with all my in-laws. we had a table reserved and a 11:30 all the family was there at the correct time except one SIL, her husband and 4 kids. Right at that moment MIL gets a text saying they were just leaving their church, 45 mins away. Food was served family style right on time. While everyone else was twiddling there thumbs and waiting, I started loading my plate and eating. The stares I got and finally FIL said something to me. I politely told him that if he wanted to eat cold food because he wanted to wait on someone who couldn't make it on time he could but I am done playing that game.

    And so the holidays begin for me.
     
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  47. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    My in-laws practically trip over themselves to cater to my SIL. She's 33 and my MIL calls her everyday to "check up on her." If she doesn't answer, she calls my wife to see if she's spoken to her that day.
     
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  48. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    exactly. I mean did you ever think that maybe there is a reason this shit happens every single get together. It's because you allow it to happen.
     
  49. Llama

    Llama New Member
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    Oh my sweet summer child...
     
  50. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    :rage:
     
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