The more I read these awesome stories, the more I am thankful that my wife and her family are cool as fuck.
This year my family is 3000 miles across a decent sized ocean from me so my choices are 1) go to the thanksgiving party of a coworker I hate and pray he has football on or b) sit in the barracks and drink myself into oblivion. Both of here choices will occur after I work a 10 hour shift starting at 0600 thanksgiving morning. On the happy side, this Xmas will be the first time my mom dad brother me and my daughter will be together since 2010 I think. And it's already snowed here once so there's a decent chance my kid will get a white Christmas. Makes it worth putting up with my dad's veiled concern about going to London or Cambridge because Muslims live there (which is fun for me considering I speak-ish Arabic and have a Arabic aphorism tattood on me.)
Wife has to work Thanksgiving. We are hosting Friends Giving on Saturday. 10-12 families as of now. Should be a great time if the weather cooperates. I am holding out hope the in laws provide some entertaining stories from their Thanksgiving dinner. FIL is having the two SIL's families up to the lake house. The tankless water heater cracked a couple years ago for Thanksgiving. 25 people without running hot water for four days. That year I was thankful we stayed home. Actually I'm thankful every year we stay home.
Last time my fiance's side got together at the end of September, 2 of her uncles almost got into a fist fight and my future MIL got into a physical altercation with her aunt while her 6 y/o grandson looked on before I threw my phone in front of his face with a game. This has prompted an alcohol free Thanksgiving and Christmas, which I think might be the first time in...ever that these people have spent time together sober. I'm interested to see what happens. The 2 of her uncles that got into have already gotten themselves un-invited to our wedding, hopefully we can add to the list! At my family's thanksgiving I got into a yelling match with my cunt of an aunt, ended up leaving my grandpa's house for about an hour to cool down. I felt justified when my oldest cousin who I've never gotten along with thanked me for being the one in the family to stand up to said cunt aunt. I'm hoping nexus has some stories as well.
Found out last night that both sides of my family will be absent from Thanksgiving this year and that my Dad's bitch of a wife has decided to move out. Best. Thanksgiving. Ever.
So my aunt's husband (got married ~3 years ago) has a 21 year old son from a previous marriage. We had Thanksgiving with that side of the family on Saturday. We get to talking about how his son (he wasn't there) has been in a funk and how he needs to get out and get a job. I asked why he had been in a funk and my aunt's husband tells me that his son was dating a 28 year old psycho who stabbed herself to death in his son's front yard four months ago. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wut
I'll share some turkey with you bro..but don't eat all the broccoli rice and cheese casserole, or we're gonna have to fight.
My gf's parents will be here Weds night so from Thanksgiving till Saturday I have to drink vodka out of water bottles and try my best to keep my shit together because they don't like drinking. They're ok with a little beer or wine, but goddamnit it's my vacation and I wanna drink and eat my face off like a goddamn red blooded American man.
My sister-in-law is one of those pretend tree hugger/environmental types. She sent some obnoxious email about making sure all the food everyone brings was organic, suggesting carpooling, etc. Everyone will just ignore this stuff because they are pretty tired of her. But she made the mistake of also demanding that people only use recyclable containers for food. That garnered a response from her brother to the effect of "I don't like bringing recyclable stuff to your house because the bin is tucked behind your two massive SUV's and its hard to reach." Email chain went silent for a day after that one. I sent him a message letting him know he just earned a bottle of his favorite bourbon on me.
I think I might make it out of this one without the awkward political conversations with my gf's dad. He worships Bill O'Reily and is super over the top, far right, conservative Christian but since we cut the cord and only have Apple TV now he won't get to just sit down and watch Fox news all day and just echo all of their talking points. Without his "cues" I don't know how he can tie in how badly we are fucked because of Obama, Muslims, and other peoples of color. I think he's bringing us a new gun though, so that's cool. He's a "prepper" so he's always giving us weapons and survival shit.
Because I would say this exact thing to them when they commented on it and it might start a "thing". It's just me picking my battles and this is one of those I don't feel like butting heads over. Personally I don't think he'd say anything to my face about it. He might say something to my gf or her mom about it, but I don't think he'd say anything to me personally for the same reason as me to not start a "thing".
my uncle's land we have thanskgiving at is huge and surrounded by more farm land. every year they hook a trailer filled with bales of hay to the back of a tractor and drive the entire thanksgiving party around on a tractor ride. i always get some snide remarks bc i politely pass on it. it's the same route every year, takes an hour+ and is usually right near sunset so it's cold. my uncle who runs the thing doesn't give a shit but the women think it's some grave sin to want to sit by the fire, having a beer and watching football instead of freezing my ass off on a damn hayride. hopefully the panthers playing on thanksgiving this year convinces a few more people to join so i don't get as much shit
Feel like I've got a pretty solid game plan going this year for thanksgiving. It's as follows: The fiance and I are heading to the ranch to hunt early tuesday morning through Wednesday Night. My family will starting getting there wedneday throughout the day... brother & SIL will be there right about the time we are leaving or hopefully even after we leave . Be back home Wednesday night. Fiance is on call thursday (nurse) so It will probably just be us and the dog all day thursday watching football getting drunk . Friday we head to the fiances lake house to spend the day with her sober family. Come back home friday night. then me and a buddy are leaving back to the ranch at the ass crack of dawn on saturday to hunt saturday and sunday. Little interaction with my brother and SIL, a lot of hunting and very little sober time with the fiances family.
I also have never understood hay rides. What does adding hay to the wagon do to the ambiance of being dragged around behind a tractor?
i don't get it either every year i politely say i would rather watch football by the fire, every year my aunt acts like i murdered her first born and every year me and one of my grumpy uncles are the only two who stay back to have a beer and watch football
This is like my mother. Any time I decline to spend time with "the family", no matter how retarded the planned activity is I get the guilt trip. So tiresome.
I'm going to have to deal with this someday and I think if I'm respectful enough to not drink in their house (or at least hide it well), they should be respectful enough in mine to not say anything.
Ex gf's mom was one, their house is gigantic, and there were a handful of pantries/rooms in the basement - one full of 50 gallon drums of water & re-used Arizona Green Tea containers (full of water), one pantry stocked with food, and the last was a mini armory. At one point we were given potassium iodide capsules in case a nuke was set off in Pittsburgh.
not my family but this weekend i found out my buddy's fiance's father refuses to talk on the phone bc he thinks the government has his phone lines tapped. i am a groomsman for their wedding so looking forward to hopefully getting to meet this guy
Yeah they have like dehydrated food kits from the military surplus store and all kinds of dry goods and pickled shit just stored up in the basement. He has all kinds of caches of weapons and supplies buried all over his property too. You know, just in case.
This year I am going back to "the compound" (my gf's place outside of Augusta) and killing one of my own turkeys. Had the option to go up to see family but xmas is coming and then a destination wedding in feb. that will be plenty of family for a few months. My gf's mom is coming and is probably one of the best cooks. She also starts drinking vodka around noon every day so it is also a huge plus. Iron Mickey is actually coming over on Friday to eat leftovers and watch football as well. I see alot of IPAs in the next week.
is he big on conspiracy emails? I remember one time we were at her parents house, and her mom was telling us of the local air force base running drills/practice runs, which she recalled as thinking "I thought this might be it" in a tone of voice as if it was close call on on par with nearly having a fender bender in a Target parking lot. at least it was as humorous as much as it was insane.
I highly doubt he would say anything to me personally. He's not a jerk or anything, at least not to me anyways. My gf is always telling me these stories of him being a dick, but he's always been really nice to me. If it were anything, he'd say something to his wife, then she'd tell her daughter and she would relay it back to me in hopes of starting some drama because they're women and women love drama.
I'm considering fasting until Thursday in a feeble attempt to counter the damage I will likely do between Thursday night and Friday afternoon. Is he a don or something? What's he got to say that's so important?
Oh yeah, especially the military ones like Jade Helm due to Obama wanting to take over. Fucking brilliant at Christmas when my gf's grandfather (his FIL) is there and he talks about anything military or religion. Her grandfather is a veteran of 2 wars, career military (still lives on base), an atheists to the point of mocking religion especially Christianity, and a diehard Democrat. Basically the polar opposite of his son in law. He was talking about the Jade Helm stuff and all that shit about the Walmarts closing to be FEMA camps and her grandfather just starts laughing and basically tells him that if the military wanted to take over they'd just do it and there ain't fuck all him and his little toys are gonna do to stop them. It was hilarious. He then proceeded to explain how they do stuff like this all the time on the base they live on and it's pretty standard but because they're doing it in Texas and everyone from Texas "thinks they're all so damn important" that they're making a big deal about it. Her dad is from Texas.
he used to be a surgeon but he became convinced that the government was trying to take away his practice or something so i he stopped.
I remember her grandfather basically referring to the stuff with the manhunt for that Boston bomber and how if that type of stuff comes rolling into the neighborhood there isn't a lot him and his "toys" are going to do about it. I just remembered that my cousin is coming here with his gf too. He's exactly like my gf's dad too. He loves Alex Jones, Rand Paul, confederate flags and libertarianism. He gets downy smug too about the theories because his dad works for the NSA. There's also a main boarder coming who may or may not be brining a Tinder date with him. This may actually have some potential for some glorious stories.
ha, she too was heavily rooted in government/military takeovers and that family moved here from Texas just a few years ago. coincidence? fortunately during our relationship there weren't any scandals or events ala Jade Helm to hear about. I'd always be polite when she would bring this up, partially b/c the woman would've held a grudge for the next decade, but also it'd provide plenty of material to laugh about when she wasn't around.
i have been attached to a group message that includes 5 people on my in laws side about what they are thankful for each day.
My dad's side is the whitest of Mississippi white trash (Pearl River area); I love them to death, but it clashes horribly with my mom's Northwestern Lutheran family. All of this led to a charming montage about five years ago, when we had Thanksgiving at my uncle's trailer (on my grandparents' land) with his fifth wife, her son, and his daughter, who brought her cop boyfriend with his service weapon, which we used to target empty beer cans in the burn pit. Also in attendance were my 58-year-old aunt, her slacker, 40-year-old "artist" son, and his 15-year-old daughter who had just given birth to her first kid, thereby making my aunt a great-grandmother. The other assorted children were frolicking in the above-ground pool, occasionally interspersed with trips to eat plates of the deep-fried turkey and sides. Sitting on the porch drinking all of this in were the previously mentioned prim Lutheran grandparents, with thousand-mile stares reminiscent of:
DEAD my business partner just came into my office and asked me what was so funny... I really can't think of a worse thing than this.
Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesús, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino’s, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell.
the guys are funny, the women are absolutely terrible. i got a "what are you thankful for kslim?" a couple of days ago and i responded with "technology, so i can read all of this awesome stuff you guys are thankful for"
My stepbrother died in a drunk driving accident 12 years ago and as a result my stepmom got involved in AA/NA to help people with similar issues. This is great and nothing wrong with that part. One year though, she decided to invite everyone from the meetings who had nowhere to go to our house. 20+ crackheads and like 8 family members at Thanksgiving dinner. And when I say crackheads, I mean literally people who were currently or recently addicted to crack although some may have been heroine or meth junkies. Fortunately this only lasted one year because some shit went missing and one of the crackheads basically told my cousin he was going to rape her.
My GF and her family have this HUGGEEE family group message thing that includes everybody. They added my gf's sisters bf and before I could even be asked I told my gf in no way is she to ever add me to that group message because group messages with 4-5 people suck ass, one with 15 people would really suck. I brought it up to one of the brother-in-law's (who is an awesome guy) about how much I would hate it. He says it is unbearable and has been trying to get 'kicked-out' for the past 3 years. He used this as an example of what he told me he says to try and get kicked out. group text from youngest brother - So I got an A in my college class sister- congrats! Jeff her twin sister - that is awesome good job Jeff. gf's twin sister (did I mention this family has 2 sets of twins?) - Jeff great mom - Jeff that is great to hear, what was the class about youngest brother - the class was about ' ' brother-in-law - Congrats Jeff, no how many girls have you been pounding this week? mom - oh Brother-in-law you shouldn't say that! No matter how vial or terrible of something he can think up he can't get kicked out. I'm laughing now but he is married to my gf's twin so without a doubt at some point I will be added to what sounds like the worst group text message ever.