Guess The Foreign Body & Tales From The Hospital

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Celemo, May 19, 2015.

  1. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
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    A 2 liter of Pepsi flavored coke
     
    tjsblue, UncleJesse, Clemsurf and 7 others like this.
  2. broken internet

    broken internet Everything I touch turns to gold.
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    Gonna go with she got a little too excited and has a non-flared vibrator in there.
     
  3. BellottiBold

    Donor
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    battery (d obviously)
     
  4. Nole0515

    Nole0515 Well-Known Member
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    Vibrating egg and the cord snapped off
     
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  5. Gtr

    Gtr Guest

    Toilet brush
     
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  6. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    box of peeps
     
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  7. DelapThrows

    DelapThrows Comforter, Philosopher, and Lifelong Mate
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    tell us tell us!
     
  8. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    Speaker wire peehole guy's mom with 3 feet of 4/0-4/0-4/0 aluminum service entrance wire stuck in her cecum.
     
  9. miles

    miles All I know is my gut says, maybe
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    Lance Armstrong's missing testicle
     
  10. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Winning Answer

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    So close
     
  12. Biff Bridges

    Biff Bridges The words. You are good with the words man
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    Close enough.
     
  13. DelapThrows

    DelapThrows Comforter, Philosopher, and Lifelong Mate
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    Male or Female? Butt? Age?
     
  14. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Female, Butt...that's all I'll say other than something something hole in one something
     
  15. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    Female. Butt. Fore.
     
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  16. Joshuam2107

    Joshuam2107 SUH DUDE
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    I guess you could say she had a buried lie.
    [​IMG]
     
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  17. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    If there weren't any golf puns during the surgery I'm going to be severely disappointed
     
  18. Nick Rivers

    Nick Rivers Well-Known Member
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  19. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    Did she get a free drop what with the man made hazard and all?
     
  20. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
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    Now THAT'S a million to one shot.
     
  21. Fancy

    Fancy thanks, i hate it
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    "what is that...a Titleist?


    Hole in one, huh?"
     
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  22. AIP

    AIP Team bush
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    Surprised she could not push that out

    bertwing does that all the time
     
    RapesWithaSmile likes this.
  23. Pokes

    Pokes Younger, hipper, cooler
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  24. Beachy Toast

    Beachy Toast He wants you too, Malachi.
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  25. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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  26. Nole0515

    Nole0515 Well-Known Member
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    she has one more hole in one than Jigga
     
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  27. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    :loldog:
     
  28. 1

    1 A real fan. GBR!
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    Masters is next week. She's in the spirit.
     
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  29. rbalboa

    rbalboa The Bible should say 1 thing: Try not to be a cunt
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    Dr should tell her she's gotta play it where it lies.
     
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  30. BellottiBold

    Donor
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    damnit
     
  31. Emmy Rossum

    Emmy Rossum Shameless
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  32. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    A little while back, this guy in his mid 20s came in to the ER with a fucked up leg. His story was he was pushing a car that had broken down and was struck by another car in the process. His drug screen came back positive as fuck and he was admitted with surgery scheduled the next day. Before he got to the OR we heard from Pre-Surg that this kid was a real fucking asshole. He rolls in and we discover he has a shitty looking tattoo of a swastika on his neck about the size of Meatball's fist. Once he's under, we all start making fun of it and wonder what the Jewish trauma doc is gonna say. Doc plays it cool makes a couple more jokes but he's a pro so he gets down to business and puts an Xfix on him with the intent of rodding him in a couple days. This guy came back for 2-3 more procedures and everytime he came back he was adorned with more swastikas. He drew them on his bandages, on his gown, etc. In the meantime we keep hearing about how combative and shit he was up on the floor. Come to find out today he left AMA (against medical advice) Of course his leg still isn't even close to being healed so he can't really walk and basically Rick James'd his way out
    [​IMG]
    They let him crawl for a good while until he started screaming obscenities nonstop and they finally stuck him in a wheelchair and rolled him out and dumped him outside where he continued to crawl to the bus stop. They went back and tossed his room and found a bunch of hypos that someone brought him so he could shoot up while he was there
     
  33. Truman

    Truman Well-Known Member
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    That was a good story and all. However when I saw you bump this thread I was excited for game time.

    Now im bummed.

    :feelsbadman:
     
  34. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    sorry buddy
     
  35. Tiffin

    Tiffin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    :awesomeface:
     
  36. broken internet

    broken internet Everything I touch turns to gold.
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    I've currently got a 350 pound addict on our floor with one good limb, his left arm. All others shattered and ex-fixed. Gonna need two total hips and a total knee.

    Meth, alcohol, pot, and a 4-wheeler at night.

    I've got bets we'll have him through Labor Day.
     
  37. Tiffin

    Tiffin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    bertwing really went out and celebrated that modship.
     
  38. Oracle of Omahawg

    Oracle of Omahawg Swine Flu Carrier
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    Wife is graduating this weekend from x-ray tech school. She has already had some great ER stories.
     
    Celemo likes this.
  39. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    X-ray was my first gig...so many stories. Is she planning on staying in X-Ray or moving on to a different modality like CT, MRI, Ultrasound, etc?
     
  40. Oracle of Omahawg

    Oracle of Omahawg Swine Flu Carrier
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    She just got a job and they are cross-training her in CT already.
     
    Celemo likes this.
  41. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    worked in CT for 2 years...good for her
     
  42. Oracle of Omahawg

    Oracle of Omahawg Swine Flu Carrier
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    She is working 3 12s on the weekend. Started her at $19/hour. I'm happy. Good money and she won't bug me during football season.
     
  43. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    are you guys in Omaha? If so that's pretty solid starting wages
     
  44. Oracle of Omahawg

    Oracle of Omahawg Swine Flu Carrier
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    Arkansas, so it's super solid.
     
    Celemo likes this.
  45. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    The Duncan Principle: 60% of the time, it works every time

    outstanding gif usage though
     
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  46. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    Sometimes when you take so long to tell us what it is someone has stuck up their butt, I think you are testing the Duncan Prnciple.
     
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  47. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    I like to give the maximum amount of guesses before the reveal
     
    tjsblue, CBH and FactsRule like this.