Q: why does hellen keller masturbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Bateman, Jan 19, 2011.

  1. Bateman Guest

    A: So she can moan with the other

    :gaddam:
  2. IrishLAX2 Nation's Top Footballers

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    Holy shit
    Legend likes this.
  3. IV New Member

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar

    Show Spoiler
    A walkie talkie
  4. SOM New Member

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    How did Hellen Keller break her arm?

    Show Spoiler
    She tried to read a stop sign
    Houndster likes this.
  5. psu34 trained in the art of chaos

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    lmao
  6. AUB 2cool+2be=4gotten

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    what kind of pants do ghosts wear?

    Show Spoiler
    BoOOooOooOooOooo jeans
  7. wes tegg SHUT IT DOWN.

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    How did Helen Keller burn her face?

    Show Spoiler
    She tried to answer the iron.
  8. SOM New Member

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?

    Show Spoiler
    They rearranged the furniture
  9. Black Falcon Go get me a beer, bitch!

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    What color were Christa McAuliffe's eyes?



    Show Spoiler
    Blue. One blew one way and one blew the other.
  10. IrishLAX2 Nation's Top Footballers

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    How the fuck did she hear the phone ringing in the first place?
    EdmondDantes and B1G 8 like this.
  11. ACEDGOD i make predictions

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    What's the cruelest thing you can do to Stevie Wonder?

    Show Spoiler
    Leave a plunger on top of the toilet seat.
  12. Redav Arm Talent

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    Some better than others...

    What's the difference between Jelly and Jam?
    You can't jelly your dick into a girl's ass

    What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
    One less drunk

    How can you tell your wife is dead?
    The sex is the same but the dishes pile up


    how long does it take to kill a baby in a microwave?
    i'm not sure, i was too busy jacking off.

    what happens when you spin an oriental guy around?
    he becomes disoriented

    what's funnier than a dead baby?
    dead baby in a clown mask

    what's the difference b/w a trunk full of dead babies and a trunk full of bowling balls?
    you can't unload the bowling balls with a pitch fork

    what's the difference b/w a BMW and a wheel barrel full of dead babies?
    i don't have a BMW in my garage

    What do 9 out of 10 people agree on?
    Gang Rape

    What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
    Christopher Reeve after a housefire.

    What's the best thing about making love to a 12 year old in the shower?
    You can slick her hair back and she's looks 9.

    Why did the little girl fall off of the swing?
    She didn't have any arms.

    What's better than winning the gold medal at the special olympics?
    Not being retarded.

    What do you do if someone is having a seizure in a bathtub?
    Throw in a load of laundry.

    What's the difference between a police cruiser and a porcupine?
    A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
    Kushton Slater and HotMic like this.
  13. * J Y * TEXAS

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    Why is Helen keller's dog always depressed?

    Show Spoiler
    You would be too if your name was UUNNHHHHHHHHHH
  14. Menelaus The Red-Haired King

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    What do you call Irish lawn chairs?

    Show Spoiler
    Paddy O'Furniture
  15. Menelaus The Red-Haired King

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    Have you seen the dog that hides from gay people?

    Show Spoiler
    No? Haha you're a faggot
  16. jltman Sooners, Rangers, Cowboys, Stars

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?

    ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer and tastes delicious and the other is a watermelon
  17. BhamBammer Barvin'

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    There is some corny ass shit itt
    Sex Fuckhead likes this.
  18. Black Falcon Go get me a beer, bitch!

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

    Show Spoiler
    A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
  19. ACEDGOD i make predictions

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    helen keller jokes :D

    dead baby jokes :|
    Sex Fuckhead likes this.
  20. VoodooChild5 Fan of: Notre Dame

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    I laughed at the Helen Keller jokes.
  21. Redav Arm Talent

    No racist jokes yet?
  22. Menelaus The Red-Haired King

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    What did the lifeguard at the beach name her daughter?

    Show Spoiler
    Sandy
  23. Black Falcon Go get me a beer, bitch!

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    How do you keep a dog from humping your leg?

    Show Spoiler
    Suck it's dick.
  24. wes tegg SHUT IT DOWN.

    When is the best time to rape Helen Keller?
    Show Spoiler
    After you break her hands.
  25. The Bear Jew New Member

    Did you know Helen Keller had a Dollhouse in her backyard?

    Show Spoiler
    Neither did she
  26. EOE Baws

  27. jltman Sooners, Rangers, Cowboys, Stars

    :laugh:

    have never heard that one before
  28. The Bear Jew New Member

    What was the worst day in Helen Keller’s life?

    Show Spoiler
    The day she burned her mouth, and couldn’t taste anything, either.
    Sex Fuckhead and FAULK like this.
  29. tne Now tagging people with spaces in their name

    what happens when you spin an oriental guy around?
    he becomes disoriented


    yes
  30. Beemer Blackshirts.

    Whats the difference between a large pizza and a :w2d:?

    Show Spoiler
    a large pizza can feed a a family of 4
  31. duvalbill On a gravy train with biscuit wheels.

    what did helen keller do when she fell down a well

    She screamed so hard she broke all her finger
    *done whilst moving your fingers*
  32. wes tegg SHUT IT DOWN.

    What is Helen Keller's favorite movie?
    Show Spoiler
    The 6th Sense
    RapesWithaSmile likes this.
  33. Principal McVicker Not so New Member

    What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?

    Show Spoiler
    They can smell it but they cant eat it!
    RapesWithaSmile likes this.
  34. wes tegg SHUT IT DOWN.

    What does my dick taste like?
    Show Spoiler
    Ask my daughter.
    RapesWithaSmile likes this.
  35. Menelaus The Red-Haired King

    What's long, black, and real hard?

    Show Spoiler
    The Unemployment Line
    HotMic likes this.
  36. cutiger1024 New Member

    :nahnah:
  37. Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    [IMG]
  38. Calicane Waiting for moments that never come

    What's Helen Keller's favorite color?

    Show Spoiler
    Denim
  39. WC Bad Company, 'til the day I die.

    Where do you find a dog with no legs?


    Show Spoiler
    Right where you left it.
  40. Calicane Waiting for moments that never come

    What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

    Show Spoiler
    The wheelchair


    What kind of the women are easiest to get digits from?

    Show Spoiler
    Jews. Just roll up their sleeves
  41. The Banks TMB's Alaskan

    Why was helen keller a bad driver

    Show Spoiler
    cause shes a woman
    lastsonofkrypton likes this.
  42. Celemo Meatball's Dad

    What's got 9 arms and sucks?

    Show Spoiler
    Def Leppard
  43. TheChad ----------------------- Our OC > your OC

    If u went went camping with a dude and woke out the next morning with a jizz filled condom lodged in your ass, would u tell anyone about it??

















































    Show Spoiler
    Want to go camping on Saturday??
    supercity likes this.
  44. Topper Bottoms Capt. USS Rough Service

    What was the most painful thing Helen Keller ever read?

    Show Spoiler
    The cheese grater
  45. OopsPowSurprise science

    A jewish girl asks her father for 50 dollars.

    Her dad says, "Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"
    Legend likes this.
  46. Trip McNeely Guys like us....we are a dime a dozen

    Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
    Show Spoiler
    He doesn't know he's black
  47. the Weimar Beer Belly everything is good here/please come home

    I don't know if these have been posted but here are some;

    Abraham Lincoln was Jewish didn't you know?
    "Oh yeah?"
    Yeah, he was shot in the temple. :drumroll:

    What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
    "What?"
    (making gagging noise and mime deep-throating a dick)

    Do you know what sound a baby makes in the microwave?
    "What?"
    I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.
    HotMic likes this.
  48. tjosu ..

    god damn at both of these
  49. Talking Head The Bag Man.

    Re: Q: why does hellen keller masterbate with one hand? (Gimme some jokes)

    [IMG]
    berg and soulfly like this.
  50. EOE Baws

    Found on some site....

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A bear and a bunny are sitting in a forest taking a shit. The bear leans over to the bunny and says "Do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur"? The bunny says "No". So the bear grabs the bunny and wipes his ass.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (bitches :nebraskafans:)

    A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

    After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

    Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"

    "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

    Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

    The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

    The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

    The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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