So You Have A Daughter....

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Celemo, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. Mitch Cumstein

    Mitch Cumstein yells at cloud
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    It's truly a delight. It's even better when they're all mad at each other over absolutely nothing/everything.
     
    AaronCE, construxboy, IV and 2 others like this.
  2. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother I’d rather be down the allotment
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    just try not to think about all the fucked up freaky shit you've done with your wife, who is your daughter's sexual role model
     
  3. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother I’d rather be down the allotment
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    aw shit my bad
     
    AaronCE, Angry Dolphin, IV and 8 others like this.
  4. Fister Roboto

    Fister Roboto Well-Known Member
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  5. Gtr

    Gtr Guest

    One of my best friends had a party in high school, an amateur WWE match breaks out between another friend and I, and he drives me backwards into an open bathroom and we cracked the base of the toilet. Fucker told his parents that I organized the party at his house and that he wasn't even there. His mom made me come over to get lectured for like an hour. I wasn't aware of his version of the story until after..
     
  6. Mitch Cumstein

    Mitch Cumstein yells at cloud
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    nothing like spineless faggot friends
     
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  7. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    My daughter will be born next month and I look forward to contributing to this thread and continuing on with the Dad thread. Also, good luck with your herpes.
     
  8. Oracle of Omahawg

    Oracle of Omahawg Swine Flu Carrier
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    Just have my 15 year old son. Up until a month ago he hasn't really shown serious interest in girls, more interested in sports and playing xBox. Now teaching him how to treat all of your daughters.
     
    comrade static and construxboy like this.
  9. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    Going to find out today if we are having a boy or girl. :ohnoes::ohnoes::ohnoes:
     
  10. Mitch Cumstein

    Mitch Cumstein yells at cloud
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    it's a girl
     
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  11. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Have 2 girls, want a boy, but damn i'd almost put any amount of money on it being another girl if we try again.
     
  12. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    It's gotten pretty bad with Kendall lately, mood swings like a motherfucker. Sometimes she flips out on Meatball for no apparent reason
     
  13. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    It definitely is. 90% of people we know think it's a girl.
     
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  14. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    "Now I know you're gonna want to see if your whole hand can fit in there, but resist the urge because it'll pay off later."
     
  15. ohbluefan

    ohbluefan Well-Known Member
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    I have 16 and 13 year old daughters, you fuckers don't even know what awaits you.


    GOOD FUCKING LUCK!!!
     
  16. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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  17. ohbluefan

    ohbluefan Well-Known Member
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    I'll give you 2 quick stories. When my 16 year old was 14 she was secretly "dating" a 17 year old she met on Instagram. She lied about hanging out with a friend and was hanging out with him a couple times. We're pretty sure she didn't have sex with him after reading thru their texts. She no longer has social media and pretty much spent a month grounded in her room.

    My 13 year old was just in a bunch of shit this week at school for saying her school Internet password too loud. Some little fucker overheard and sent some pretty crazy shit to all the teachers under my daughters account. He'll probably end up expelled and in juvenile detention when it's all said and done. No way a boy would be dumb enough to say his password loud enough for the whole class to hear.

    And the drama girls have. EVERY. FUCKING. DAY.
     
  18. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Or maybe your daughter is like most women and just put all of the blame on a guy...
     
  19. OZ

    OZ Old balls

    Brother just missed a bullet.

    Had his first son today, previously he had 2 girls that are now ages 5 and 3. He was sweating it out. I asked my sister-in-law, "How happy are the girls to have a little brother?" Her response, "Not as happy as dad."
     
  20. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    There's no way I don't have a daughter. None. I only have 2 female cousins out of all of them and both of them have a brother so there's no way that I don't get one with karma being the bitch that she is. It'll probably be a downy as well. I've made a lot of downy jokes and laughed at a lot of downy stories.
     
  21. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Tell her to back up off his peanut balls.
     
  22. Savage Rob Chubb

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    Pro tip: Don't have kids.
     
    Tiffin likes this.
  23. gritzy

    gritzy I am a hurricane on the golf course

    Already feel bad for the future baby bona
     
  24. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 He should keep his mouth firmly shut
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    you called ned's head a sick fuck or whatever and turn around and post this?
     
  25. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    I meant sick son of a bitch in an endearing way
     
  26. pearroh

    pearroh New'ish Member
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    father of soon to be 3 & 4 yr old girls checking in... i am so fucked.
     
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  27. 1

    1 A real fan. GBR!
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    That's cute that you think that, dad.
     
  28. pearroh

    pearroh New'ish Member
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    same boat here. i would much rather keep the balance and maintain a family of 4 since its waaay easier to plan things... tickets to events typically sold in packages of even numbers, 1 parent per kid on rides at disneyland, no only-child or middle-child syndrome, etc. People always ask if we'll shoot for a boy but naaah, im good - i've done enough damage to femals & their feelings that I would bet the bank on me having a 3rd girl. Plus my 2 are night & day and drive us crazy.
    But hey at least I'm not like my friend - he has 4 girls and his wife wants another kid, likely a girl (she has 3 sisters and a bro). His girls ages range from 2 to 14... good thing he has a good job and can afford all these girls cuz his mexican wife will want a Quince (mexican sweet 16, but 15) for EACH ONE, very likely.
     
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  29. -Asshole-

    -Asshole- TMB OG Reject
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    My brother has two girls and just found out this past tuesday that his wife is pregnant with another girl.
     
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  30. ohbluefan

    ohbluefan Well-Known Member
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    They've got so many damn ways to communicate it's crazy. My 16 year old is part of some group message that has 70 sophomore girls in it. I'm hoping she's not in one with 100 boys. And that's how they communicate, 2 hour delay? BAM post that shit in the group message.
     
    slogan119 and 1 like this.
  31. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    turn off the lights and give her a thorough and honest assessment.

    [​IMG]

    then, finish the discussion.

    [​IMG]
     
  32. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Eh, at least she'll have super downy strength. They can tear your arms right off your body like a chimp.
     
  33. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    I plan on forcing my two older ones to watch this and hopefully scare the shit out of them. Maybe it'll will it will do some good.


    The Internet Can Destroy Your Life
    [​IMG]
    Watch 00:30
    Trailers
    The Internet Can Destroy Your Life
    It did for these people. The Internet Ruined My Life. Premieres March 9 at 10/9c.
     
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  34. Mitch Cumstein

    Mitch Cumstein yells at cloud
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    gonna show the consequences will never be the same
     
    slogan119 likes this.
  35. daddy fat sacks

    daddy fat sacks shoulda bought an ounce but you copped a dub
    Florida State Seminoles

    And then fuck everything, because of the catholic school. Good luck with your daughters melt down at 19 when she has multiple stds.
     
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  36. -Asshole-

    -Asshole- TMB OG Reject
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    This thread isnt as supportive as i hoped it would be. I think i will remove myself from the conversation and enjoy my girl's toddler years. See y'all in a decade.
     
  37. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Same.
    I also have 6 nieces between ages 1-11. No sons or nephews.
     
    -Asshole- likes this.
  38. Jim Brockmire

    Jim Brockmire I think you're wildly underestimating heroin.
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    Raise your daughter the right way and you'll have nothing to worry about. Most of the sluts I've encountered over the years are the way they are because they had "daddy issues".

    Cheers.
     
  39. Thoros of Beer

    Thoros of Beer Academy Award-Winning Actor, Tim Allen
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    This deserves more love
     
  40. RoyalShocker

    RoyalShocker But I don't wanna be a Nazi
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    You're probably older, but girls in Catholic school are cool with anal, vag play, and oral now. It's not just an anal only party!
     
  41. RoyalShocker

    RoyalShocker But I don't wanna be a Nazi
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    Every genuine slut or fucked up girl that I've ever known was that way because of their relationship with their father.

    You do the best you can with your kids and usually they will end up right.
     
    Thoros of Beer and Shadow like this.
  42. Taques

    Taques sometimes maybe good sometimes maybe shit
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    I have a 1, 3, 7, 10, 16, 25, 32, 48, and 63 year old, all daughters
     
  43. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    :roll: sorry if I offended you :roll:
     
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  44. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    Don't be so negative. Some girls have good relationships with their fathers and still end up being sluts.
     
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  45. London Humphreys

    London Humphreys The next Julian Edelman, obviously.
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    My daughters are 4,8,15,16,23, and 42.
     
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  46. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Go back to the dad thread asshole lol
     
    -Asshole- likes this.
  47. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    Beat the odds. It's a boy

    [​IMG]
     
  48. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    You lucky sonuvabitch.
     
    devine, dump, bertwing and 2 others like this.
  49. Boar Skarloff

    Boar Skarloff Standin up fuckin in a hammock

    Congrats!! Bastard.
     
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