Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Degausser

    Degausser #NewProfilePic
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    I'd be thrilled if mine turned out like her mom. I really lucked when it comes to the future MIL.
     
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  2. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    Means a lot m8
     
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  3. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    like for "fortnight."
     
  4. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    "hey, I took some steaks out of the freezer for dinner"

    get home and it's round steak I had bought for making jerky
     
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  5. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    :laugh:
     
  6. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    ROFL
     
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  7. LSUTigers1986

    LSUTigers1986 Well-Known Member
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    Wife works from home and doesn't do basic stuff like throw in a load of laundry (I told her I'd fold when I got home) because she's sooo busy with work.

    I just had the great joy of shaming her by turning on the tv only to see the DVR channel asking if I'd like to delete the latest "Shahs of Sunset" episode she finished today. You're damn right I do!
     
  8. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Our 1.5 year old son was an absolute terror this morning. My wife couldn't get him to sit still for 10 seconds so that she could take a picture of him holding the art he made for Grandpa. About 45 minutes before church she asked if we were going to church. I commented, it seems like a bad idea since the nursery is closed for the summer. About 20 minutes before church she comes downstairs dressed for church and declares we are going. On the way to church, I comment this is a terrible idea and there is no way our son is going to sit through it. He was antsy even before it started and then once it started he proceeded to try to say hi/hello-10-15 times--to the pretty woman behind us (he has good taste), throw the crayons and paper my wife had brought him to draw on, try to escape the aisle on both sides and then yell incoherently during a quiet period. We lasted about 10 minutes in church before leaving. On the way out she admitted, "you were right." Those words made it all worthwhile.
     
  9. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Had no idea people young enough to have kids still went to church.
     
  10. milquetoast

    milquetoast Firm Security
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  11. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Almost....but i am trying to lay off the hot takes
     
  12. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    Girl I'm seeing has not seen or read any of the following:
    The Godfather
    The Lord of the Rings
    Game of Thrones
    Harry Potter

    Then calls me a loser when I mention any of them.

    Women are dumb.
     
  13. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    It is mostly related to having a kid. Prior to having one, I think the only time I had been to church with my wife was on Christmas.
     
  14. boone

    boone Destination Unknown
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    does she ess the dee?
     
  15. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    I can tell this will be a healthy relationship.
     
  16. Nole0515

    Nole0515 Well-Known Member
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    Havent seen any of the LOR or Harry Potter, cause its not my thing
    Havent seen GoT but will eventually
     
  17. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    You're dumb
     
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  18. daddy fat sacks

    daddy fat sacks shoulda bought an ounce but you copped a dub
    Florida State Seminoles

    No you.

    I have zero desires to see any of the aforementioned. Different strokes.

    Star Wars sucks, too.

    Long hair, suck my dick.
     
  19. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    Try it for the simple fact that its culturally pervasive is all I'm saying.
     
    Imurhuckleberry likes this.
  20. Tony Ray Bans

    Tony Ray Bans Most Overlooked. Most Overbooked.
    Texas Tech Red RaidersDallas Cowboys

    If everyone hated all those things, daddy fat sacks would be their greatest champion.
     
  21. daddy fat sacks

    daddy fat sacks shoulda bought an ounce but you copped a dub
    Florida State Seminoles

    Fell asleep watching godfather.

    Turned off LOTR shortly after turning it on.

    Have seen enough HP in passing to know its not for me.

    GOT is whatever isn't my cup of tea, but tits are cool.

    (__)__)=====D~~~
     
  22. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Same here. Not having HBO is the only reason why I don't watch GoT.
     
  23. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    Do you enjoy anything other than not enjoying anything?
     
  24. daddy fat sacks

    daddy fat sacks shoulda bought an ounce but you copped a dub
    Florida State Seminoles

    I enjoy lots of things like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, brighght copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings, cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels, doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles, wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, silver white winters that melt into springs, these are a few of my favorite things.
     
  25. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    If you don't like Game of Thrones then fuck you
     
  26. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode with the mandem
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    [​IMG]
     
  27. daddy fat sacks

    daddy fat sacks shoulda bought an ounce but you copped a dub
    Florida State Seminoles

     
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  28. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    One of the local Krogers had a 16.9 oz. Bottle of this on sale for 69 cents today, so I got it to see why your wife gets it. This stuff is fucking grotesque, what is wrong with her?
     
  29. Degausser

    Degausser #NewProfilePic
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    Wow we're dating. Tight.
     
  30. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    She gets off on spending money on ridiculous shit no one needs.
     
    wes tegg likes this.
  31. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    Sounds like you do too
     
  32. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Feel free to tell her that I poured about 15 ounces of it down the drain
     
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  33. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    ?
     
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  34. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    It was it's your money she spends on ridiculous shit, she gets you off, bad joke
     
    wes tegg likes this.
  35. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    Oh lol I got you. She actually makes more money than me which makes her spending harder to control.
     
    Arkadin likes this.
  36. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
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    I mean, Dasani and Aquafina are just bottled tap water, so there's that.
     
  37. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Nice to see eliporter is alive and well
     
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  38. daddy fat sacks

    daddy fat sacks shoulda bought an ounce but you copped a dub
    Florida State Seminoles

    Idkwtfthismeans
     
  39. BIGASSTITTIES

    BIGASSTITTIES Fan of: BIGASSTITTIES
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    So stupid
     
    #339 BIGASSTITTIES, Jun 22, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2017
  40. daddy fat sacks

    daddy fat sacks shoulda bought an ounce but you copped a dub
    Florida State Seminoles

    (__)__)=====D~~~
     
    Baron likes this.
  41. Magneto

    Magneto Thats right, formerly Don Brodka.
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    "I don't know how roulette works."
     
  42. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    neither does shu
     
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  43. Jax Teller

    Jax Teller Well-Known Member
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  44. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    this is more cunty than stupid, but 2 or 3 months ago she told me not to buy her anymore beer b/c she was only going to drink red wine. so thats what happened.

    tonight as i'm going to the beer fridge (she doesn't like my beer) "will you grab me a beer"

    me: you don't have any, you literally told me to never buy you beer again

    her: well i wish you would just keep a couple around for me
     
  45. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    *the next week*

    Oh my god why did you buy my beer? I drank two and now I feel all bloated! I told you I'm on,y drinking red wine!
     
  46. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    *the next week*

    Oh my god why did you buy my beer? I drank two and now I feel all bloated! I told you I'm on,y drinking red wine!
     
    dump, dahldennsull and A Congressman like this.
  47. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    My wife asks me to buy her some beer, but never drinks it

    After sitting in the fridge for like a week, I'm claiming that shit

    Sure as shit, once I crack one open I get a "are you drinking my beer!?!?!"

    Uh, yeah.... Because you sure as hell aren't.
     
  48. BiMaleStripper

    BiMaleStripper Well-Known Member

    How many of you in here are actually fed up with your marriage but hesitate to leave cause it's gonna cost you half your shit?
     
  49. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    all of us
     
  50. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
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    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I actually like my wife... :idk: