So how awkward has work been since you got a rimjob or whatever from your coworker and then realized the error of your ways?
Really? I tell my mom everything. It'd be hard to tell her something like that, but I think I'd have to do it.
That was one of the hardest things about my divorce was telling my family. I knew I would have a really hard time telling my folks, I just felt like such a failure. so I called my sister first as kind of a dry run, I was a complete mess the entire time, luckily she volunteered to tell my folks and I was able to just fill in the details.
Work in progress. First marriage counseling session went well. Think we're both committed to letting the process unfold and trying to work on the relationship, so that's promising.
I've read that that intimacy after getting caught is actually pretty bad. Jealousy is magnified among a few other things.
Before we had kids I would have said it was 50/50 that I'd ever cheat on my wife. I'm not a good person, and I know that. If I thought I could have sex with someone else and there was less than a 20% chance of my wife finding out, I'm pretty sure I would have done it. Now that I have kids I'm too terrified to even think about it. I run from any chick that flirts with me.
Took me three years to get divorced, kids, business' etc. Best 750k or whatever it has cost me so far I've ever spent.
I have a general idea but I'm going to play dumb to get old timers thoughts for a young 25 yo. What changes between dating and marriage? How do you maintain a healthy marriage?
It's not so much marriage as it is time. Biologically things change as the infatuation phase ends. The science behind it is actually pretty interesting.
Communicate. Always try new things. Communicate. Pick and choose your battles. Communicate. Don't ever have financial problems. And communicate. Almost forgot.
A lot changes especially when you add kids. Your time becomes their time. I find that I rarely have time for myself anymore. The wife and I try to do something alone with no kids a few times a month just to stay sane. My wife and I both see therapists individually at least once a month. Also we have attend marriage counseling regularly. Been married almost 10 years and we have three kids. Learning to pick battles has been the biggest thing. Also making up and ending the fight as fast as possible. We used to be really bad about fighting in front of the kids which is not good. It really has affected my youngest child the most. Finally make sure your wife can drive and if not make her take lessons. Those 8 or 9 car wrecks my wife had really put stress on our marriage. If none of this works I suggest you both get Xanax prescriptions.
I'd love to know how in the hell it ran you 750k. That's a shit load even for absolutely massive cases. I'd presume complex custody issues, complex business valuation, and you probably didn't cooperate and had to pay a large portion of her fees as well?only way I can get to a number that high.
That was my thought as well. A couple kids could easily be 3k a month X 15 years and you're already at 540k. Add alimony, the house etc and 750k isn't crazy
Don't ignore red flags when you're dating someone. P much nothing changed for me when I got married. There really wasn't any difference considering we basically already lived together before we got married.
You should absolutely live with your significant other before marrying them; it's the best way to truly know what married life is like.
Mostly that. I'm not saying I got a great deal or anything, I got mostly screwed but I really didn't give a fuck, I just wanted out. We started a business a few years before the divorce that was kicking off 70k a year and valued at close to a million, I think 950k or something. She kept that in lieu of me paying any child support. She took everything from the house except a TV, couch and double bed (the guest room bed) which later was renamed the "divorce bed" because every time one of my friends got divorced they'd take it. I think it went through 4 or 5 people. And then I paid her attorney fees because she was broke and I just wanted it over with. Then she skipped out on the marital settlement agreement and left me with 30k of credit card charges she was responsible for, mostly the furniture she took to begin with. So I could either go back to court and have my credit ruined in the meantime while I tried to get a judgement or just handle it. I was doing pretty well by that point so I just handled it. Then she gave me custody of our youngest son, so again, I guess I could have gone to court to get child support from her, but what's the point, she's a dead beat and doesn't have any money and I got my boys. I also rented a house for her for a year so my boys could visit her without having her drug using boyfriend punching walls and things. That's totally on me, but still another 25k. So yeah, 750k or so. I'm not saying I had to cut a check for 750k or anything, but over the ten years since my divorce I'd say its cost me that much if not more, but like I said it was worth every penny and I do it again. Money and things can be replaced, my kids, my sanity and quality of life is far more important.
Gotcha. Just a difference in terminology. When I think "cost" I only include Attorney fees, expert fees, etc. (only seen a few cases go over that plateau). 750 isn't all that bad for fully contested on most issues if you're including all the other shit.
What you can do is give them the 2 mile high version and avoid details. Hard enough to tell them you caught them cheating and getting a divorce.
And if a woman doesn't want to do that, even after engaged, red flag. Briefly dated a chick who wanted to go out of town on trips, but stay in separate hotel rooms wasting money like that isn't something I'm ok with.
Hey guys happy to call my ex-fiance or your ex-wife a cunt and happy to discuss actual real matters as well gbr
Managing expectations. Appreciating what you have. Not talking yourself into the grass being greener on the other side.
This and date long enough to see how far her crazy goes. I know things happen and pop up down the line after marriage but I would say most times you should be able to tell after a few years of dating while living together.
I don't think you date someone for years or even live with them to test out how nuts they are. That stuff comes out in the first 3-4 months.