I'm hanging in there, but every minute feels like a hour and every hour feels like a day. I have to prep today for a colonoscopy before rehab will admit me.
That's shitty Spoiler laps My initial thought was to look for drugs, 40 pounds in a month sounds very serious. Hope your body wasn't shutting down and it is only attributed to you drug use. As long as you wake up you have an opportunity to heal and get Well!
Good luck to you, man. What do you do all day when you're on fentanyl? Do you work or leave your place? Is it just a chase the dragon and sit around nodding all day at your place? Playing video games? The encounters I have had with that shit have been people walking around looking for shit to get into. These guys don't have the financial support you do, so I dont know if it's boredom, the drug or just looking for something for their next buy. Generally curious because the people I run into are like zombies, just generally street people who can't really tell me anything of use.
I wasn't even getting high after the first couple weeks, it only made me feel normal after that. I fooled my parents, friends, doctors, and girlfriend. You would have had no idea that I was abusing drugs.
But as for what I've been doing for the past month: pretty much just writhing around in pain on my bed or couch. Anxiety through the roof, restless, no concentration, no appetite, sleep problems. I can't watch TV or movies because I can't concentrate. I have watched Band of Brothers and gone to see a couple of movies, but other than that all I can really do is listen to music.
I was under the assumption once you hit a point of it not getting you high anymore you OD'ed and that was it, the drug is just that potent ll amounts. I didn't think it was like other shit like Crack or whatever when you smoke it and you're only high for a minute. Most of the people in my area aren't even aware they are taking fentanyl. Their pills or heroin is cut with it and they are fucked up beyond belief. Thanks for the info. Anyone that is brave enough to face that monster should get all the support they need. I was just thinking I hadn't seen you post in a while and was hoping it wasn't the worst.
yeah i weighed 134 lbs in peak use, now weigh 175 down from 182. not good for your body at all. what was weird in rehab is all the alcoholics lost weight while most drug users gained weight.
Attitude! The people you are going to be working w are there to help You! Good luck You get better and sober one day one hour one minute at a time.
Had 2 months on the 22nd. I was withdrawing for 7 weeks. I have severe brain damage. I've been in treatment for 35 days and I am leaving this facility next Wednesday to go to a 90 day program in New Haven.
I had 8 hours of psychological testing and they were able to deduce that I have brain damage comparable to a severe concussion. I don't remember years of my life.
It's prob extra boring coming off years of getting fucked up...sobriety isn't that bad when you're used to it but it can pale in comparison at first
Damn I struggled this morning with my recovery but I hung in there. Shit I just wanted to let everything go but I got a fiance and good career I've started and I just had to hold tight for a little bit a get through it. It was rocky this morning.
Genetic Markers that Influence Addiction Identified http://neurosciencenews.com/d2-fgf2-addiction-genetics-4130/
Yeah, i hate when people argue it is just a bad choice, yes i agree the initial decision to use is choice, but not everyone is predisposed to get addicted. Really interesting to see where they get in the future.
I will admit I used to think it was a choice. That it was mental weakness. I am not that dumb anymore. I know I can control my drinking but it takes a bunch of other shit to help me do it but I know if I'd ever tried and truly addicting I'd have been fucked.
I used to have this argument all the time. People feel so much better about themselves when they feel like they accomplished something by not becoming an addict/can look down on someone who is.