I went for the official consultation yesterday after meeting with the attorney briefly last week. I gave her all of the testimony's I had and told her in depth our history. The attorney has been doing custody hearings for 30 years and is really, really good. The whole time her mouth kept dropping of all of the lies I told her C had told me. She couldn't believe them. She obviously took the case and pretty much said we will win in court. She wants to file an emergency custody affidavit to keep C from being able to come and get my daughter when she wants. I'm going to pay her Monday the $1,881 (1,500 up front plus 381 to file the affidavit in my county) and she's going to have her served asap. The attorney pretty much told me I would be crazy to let C have any contact with my daughter after all of this is over, she said C has a personality trait disorder and any psychiatrist will tell you there's no helping that, that the best thing to do is cut her loose. Which I'm going to do, just hate it for my daughter to grow up without a mother but I am blessed that I have a mother and twin sister that has and will continue to fill that void. I dont want to post the testimony's in here but if anyone is curious, I don't mind sending them in a message to anyone.
Don’t take this attitude. One of my good friends is a single dad. The mother really isn’t involved. He found a great girl who immediately took to being a step mother. There are plenty of girls out there who are willing to treat your kid as their own. Don’t lose faith.
This is just immediate custody so she can't come get her until we have a court date. Now that it has been signed by the judge, she has 30 days to act. I honestly dont think she will but if she does, the attorney feels I have a very, very good shot of winning no matter what.
I know. I’m just surprised you were granted immediate custody ex-parte. Usually judges will give the other parent every opportunity to prevent that
Well, looks like I may possibly be a frequent contributor...just found out the wife’s been having an affair for 3-4 months. I know I haven’t been the perfect husband by any means, but I dunno how to wrap my head around this one.
look it takes 2 to have a baby and takes 2 to argue . and takes 2 to divorce . so people I KNOW IT,S ALWAYS NOT ONE PERSONS FAULT . NOW IS ONE OR THE OTHER WORSE OF A SPOUSE ? PROBABLY- but you see for the conversation , anyone can post anything in here and all us reads is one side of the story .
really sorry to hear that dude, there is no way to comprehend it right away. Give yourself time to process it and let your emotions be what they are going to be. You will come to grips with it eventually and then you can move forward. Do you have kids?
so many people lie here with what they post unless your actually talking to them and even then , do you know they are telling the truth ? in a divorce nobody wants to be held accountable . it is depressing to read but if you like it , ok ? in phyc , behind the library is that what they taught >? or to keep a open mind ?
Yeah, I walked in our room at 12:30 last night with her phone, threw it on the bed & asked her what the hell all this bullshit I found on it was
ok I HEAR YOU AND FEEL COMPASSION FOR YOU . ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHAT YOU DID ? BECAUSE IT WOULD BE HELPFULL TO HEAR BOTH SIDES. and all we ( us) read is yours . PEOPLE JUST DON,T CHEAT ON OTHERS FOR NO REASON . so since your such a good person , you should have no problem telling these fathers what the other side of the story is , SO ! we might could help u understand what not to do next time .
see everyone is very sorry for u , but ? I hate to read things like this . are u on drugs or what ? I can just imagin ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: next step who is the victim here the classic argument .look you did this , well you did this . u see we are not reading well u did this are we ? we ( us ) can advise u on all kinds of ways to cover ur ass but fist . us has to solve the first mistake . see what makes me leary is u talking full opportunity to ignore me . that really pulls up red flags . you will not be able to do that in court , and they will hear both sides .
Shit I'll refer you to the OG post in the thread, but I will give the two sentence advice I always give in this situation. If you think divorce is even a 1% possibility, go see a lawyer and ask him about protecting your parental rights to your son. Shit can go south in a hurry, and you have to look out for yourself no matter how she agrees to work with you.
She owned up to it - kinda surprised me, but it had been weighing on her for a while from what I’ve been able to gather so far
Think I’m going to probably do that mainly for that reason, & also to see what kind of shit I’m up against if we end up going through the Big D
there's no good reason not to talk to someone and know where the cards lay, most lawyers will usually do the initial consult for free.
This is horseshit. I don't even know Zebbie but I'm pretty pissed with how this bitch is treating our boy
Yeah, some of all 3 - I was kinda expecting some defiance from her about it but I always default to worst case scenario in my mind
Well that's good news. Take your time. Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best. Individual counseling for each of you BEFORE you try couples counseling if that's the path you choose. Protect your assets. Don't sleep with her. No dates where you pay for her food, etc until you know that you will be reconciling. Tilly
She has a shit relationship with her family & claims none of her friends/our couple friends know (we’ll see on that one as more crap comes out), & claims the only person that knows is the therapist she started seeing in early January. Part of me wants to let her twist in the wind for a little while on this, but I dunno.... All of my friends have wives that are friends with her, so I dunno who the hell to turn to because I know they’ll probably tell their wife, then they’ll reach out to her, so then they’re involved in it.
You need to protect yourself and you need as much proof of this affair as you can get in order to do so. I have no idea where you live or what the laws are in your state but you need to educate yourself ASAP and find a good attorney. This is a very tricky time for you but as someone who has been through this and who legally-dominated my ex-wife I’m happy to help you in any way I can. The first decision you have to make is whether this is a deal breaker for you or not. If it is, then your present and future actions are all the more important. I hate to tell you this but here it is anyway - she’s unlikely to change and it is highly likely she’s going to keep cheating on you. There may be a hiatus and a “come to Jesus” moment for a while but ultimately she will cheat again.
In Texas so it’s a no-fault state (I think) Right now, it’s not a definite deal breaker unless things continue to go to shit, so we’ll see what happens
I probably shouldn’t be posting in this thread as I am not married or divorced but I am getting the vibe that you’re considering staying with her. Please don’t. I can’t imagine the long-term psychological impact this would have. Plenty of other fish in the sea who are less likely to bang other fish while you’re not around. Good luck sir.
Well, you don’t want to do anything to give the appearance that you’ve condoned the affair and that includes sleeping with her. I would have her phone completely imaged if I were you. But you should talk to an attorney first. Is there a significant disparity in your incomes?
If we didn’t have our son I’d presently be packing up my shit, scheduling an appointment with a divorce attorney, and contacting a realtor to sell the house. Having a child involved complicates things just slightly
Oh i know, not gonna do that - haven’t in quite a while due to my depression, which probably had something to do with why she did it but it’s not like anybody put a gun to her head & made her do it. Yeah, she’s an insurance agent so she makes 1.5-2x what I make