Corporate Speak Thread_2024-01_Finalv11-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
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    leroi and Joe_Pesci like this.
  2. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Well see where we land.
     
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  3. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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  4. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Great post, user Sub-Zero! But have you socialized this with the rest of the team?
     
  5. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    This problem is very real for me as well! Thanks for sharing!

    Have a great weekend!

    Chase
     
  6. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    I'm an ice queen. Two exclamation points per email, max
     
  7. Koby Salman

    Koby Salman Well-Known Member

    Have a boss who sends emails as late as midnight and as early as 4am regularly. She is also “available” on skype pretty much all evening. Absolutely crazy.
     
  8. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    The name of that boss? Gubbs.
     
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  9. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    Good idea! We can take this offline. Thanks!
     
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  10. brahmanknight

    brahmanknight MC OG, UCF Knights, bacon, vodka, white wemminz
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    Oh, man. I'm slowly becoming that person.

    But we need to address the team about this immediately!
     
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  11. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    That's called setting up emails and scheduling them to go out not before X time in outlook.

    Solid game played by ppl wanting to look extra hard working
     
  12. BellottiBold

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    Reminds me of
     
  13. brahmanknight

    brahmanknight MC OG, UCF Knights, bacon, vodka, white wemminz
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    Will give that a try. :respek:
     
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  14. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    I've never done it for the trying to game how much I'm I'm working. But it works pretty well for other reminders for people or let's say you know someone is on vacation and don't want an email in the middle of their massive back log and send it Monday at 9am so it's at the top of their inbox
     
  15. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Help computer
     
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  16. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode with the mandem
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    cant believe I aint posted here in a long time. Our new partner agency are the kings of this thread.

    • Let's circle back and connect on this.
    • We've got different touch points to align on here; we'll circle back around.
    • At a micro level we're fine...on a macro level, still some ideas to align on...
    • I tagged you in the google slides deck, let's ensure we we wrap up. This deck is rogue until we pull it back into our environment.
    • What's the story on this slide? What's the big picture?
    • Any other avenues we can pursue to put this strategy to bed?


    [​IMG]

    Its like... we drove X clicks and Y impressions dude. Here's the data...FOH
     
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  17. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Give me the 40,000 feet view on this one
     
  18. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode with the mandem
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    :blowup:
     
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  19. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    How do I put "Didn't do shit today bc I am ready for football tomorrow" into my time tracker?
     
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  20. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    This is fucking stupid bc if everyone is good at the detail, it should roll up perfectly.

    That's like saying I have 10 dimes but it doesn't equal a dollar
     
  21. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    :::Immediately puts this in a PPT.:::

    Thanks!
     
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  22. Flagpole

    Flagpole ps your cunt is in the sink
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  23. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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  24. BrickTamland

    BrickTamland You're not Ron...
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    Hello yes I just completed my year-end review through Workday... on October 18th... eighteen days into Q4.

    I pumped a whole lotta corporate speak into it, truly a masterpiece.
     
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  25. $P1

    $P1 Ball State #1
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    Finished my reviews like 2 weeks ago. My favorite part is that HR specifically tells us that we're only to consider actions from January through current for the review.

    Basically October-December is a freebie
     
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  26. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
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    For those in consulting...

     
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  27. BrickTamland

    BrickTamland You're not Ron...
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    Florida State Seminoles

    :itsatrap:
     
  28. Corch

    Corch My son got the Denver Nuggets jeans
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    This is the best worst thread
     
  29. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
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    This gave me ptsd
     
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  30. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Sounds like this post isn’t fully baked. Might want to take a step back and flesh it out a bit.
     
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  31. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    I'd like to read this book

    [​IMG]

    Keywordschronicles the rise of a new vocabulary in the twenty-first century. From Silicon Valley to the White House, from primary school to higher education, and from the factory floor to the church pulpit, we are all called to be innovators and entrepreneurs, to be curators of an ever-expanding roster of competencies. Think of the zealotry of the disruptive entrepreneur and the resilience of the agile thought-leader for a sense of the ideal personality traits of our time: flexible, inexhaustible, and never not at work. Many of these words have a secret history that informs their modern usage in surprising ways―innovation was once “false prophecy,” and before “stakeholder” crossed the lips of a single non-profit director it was used by conservative economists opposed to the New Deal.

    In a series of short essays on terms like “entrepreneur,” “sustainability,” “artisanal,” and “synergy,” Keywords uses the vocabulary of neoliberalism to discover the contemporary spirit of capitalism. Each entry explores a popular term that displays an affinity for hierarchy, competition, “the marketplace,” and the virtual technologies of our time. The key words all share a celebration of decisive “leadership,” dreamy artistry, prophetic “vision,” and an inexhaustible commitment to work: the pillars of an ideal innovative self.
     
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  32. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    This sounds like a great white elephant gift for work if you have to do one of those
     
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  33. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    I know some of these keywords.
     
  34. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
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    Not sure if “organic” or “holistic” is my new least favorite phrase in out org.
     
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  35. momux

    momux AFAM Scholar
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    Working in a corporate gig is table stakes for this thread.
     
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  36. Corch

    Corch My son got the Denver Nuggets jeans
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    I don't hear it as much any more but "level-set" is my least favorite of all time next to calling PowerPoints "slide deck"
     
  37. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
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    Thread title updated and ready to go.
     
  38. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Circle back -- did you run that by various stakeholders to gauge their buy-in before posting?
     
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  39. Corch

    Corch My son got the Denver Nuggets jeans
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    Can you guys take that offline?
     
  40. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    New word I'm hearing nowadays is "bulletproof."
     
  41. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    Oh wow. My company is thinking of moving our corporate headquarters where I work to a new building when our lease is up in 2020.

    This morning I got pulled into a "Visioning Session" led by consultants to consider interior designs for a new building or renovation of the current one. In two hours we participated in "Pick a Hand" and "Trash or Treasure" exercises to help determine what we value most in a workspace, an "Imagery Review" to look at photos of generic corporate office setups with everything from bright lights and chrome trim to reclaimed shiplap and open ceilings and determine what we like best, and then a discussion on how to create a "Branded Environment".
     
  42. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Was reading an article about this phenomenon as applied to higher ed. This part made me laugh

     
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  43. DaveGrohl

    DaveGrohl Public Figure
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    Honestly this sounds p fun
     
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  44. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    but what's important is that everyone human who experiences your office space makes an emotional connection to your brand story. when a guest sees the wall color, they think more than a color but how your brand enriches their lives through meaningful connective tissue between their rational and emotional drivers. how does the color of the bathroom promote, elevate, and connect your employees to your brand? it's a synergistic approach
     
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  45. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
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    No mention of sit-stands desks in your new open environment?
     
  46. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    Half the building already has those. I never see anyone standing.
     
  47. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
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    Surprised. Our team stands 2/3 of the day.
     
  48. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    "Logo"

    Just say the company name. Really dislike the term logo
     
    Goose likes this.
  49. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    ??? people say "Logo" instead of TMB Inc., for example?
     
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  50. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    I’ve heard sales folks say it when we have added new customers. For example:

    “During FY18 we added 69 new logos to our sales portfolio!!!1!”
     
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