Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    I know you guys love to make fun of me but that’s cool. I ain’t mad. I just talk too much and post a bunch of weird stuff. I might take you up on that offer. I could vent about some serious shit happing in the present but I’m not going there now.
     
  2. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Take your time my man, and I was one to make jokes about what was going on with you. I regret it. So whenever, if you want to talk about it I bet A lot of us could make you feel better about it with our life experiences.
     
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  3. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    As in not a fan of the boss? The hell is the matter with you?
     
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  4. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    I said before I respect Springsteen I’m just not a fan of his music particularly. I misjudged him at first before I learned more about him as a person.
     
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  5. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    The amount of handjobs Bruce must have gotten on the road...
     
  6. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    You gotta deep dive into the stuff that’s not played on the radio ad nauseam.
     
  7. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Dear God, you mean there is more?
     
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  8. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    My girlfriend just had to go back home to figure things out with the selling of her house and other things. I had to drop her off at the airport yesterday. She was sad and crying but she’s coming back. We both knew it had to happen but it was still sad. I’ve gotten used to her being with me. Plus I still don’t know if I’m gonna be a dad. My dogs are depressed this morning because she’s not around. They won’t eat.
     
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  9. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Oklahoma City Thunder

  10. REGGNECK

    REGGNECK You wanna know what I been down , DONT BOTHER ME
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    Sounds like a country song...
     
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  11. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Her tooth still hurts this morning. :crossedarms:
     
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  12. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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  13. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    I thought this was backwoods country saying at first.

    I had to bite down on a seed I'd sort after I heard what Jeb said about my wife.
     
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  14. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Planning on taking the wifes truck out of town today, she tells me a couple of days ago she is due for an oil change
    Nbd, I'll run this morning and get it done

    I take off this morning after she gets back from a dr appointment, and i notice a vibration in the front end, call her "yea, its been doing that sometimes "
    Check the tires and the inside edge of the front right is smooth, almost down to the wires...., alignment is off
    Just left discount tire with two new tires and now I gotta find somebody to do an alignment on the afternoon before Thanksgiving
    We were supposed to be on the road at noon
     
  15. Thoros of Beer

    Thoros of Beer Academy Award-Winning Actor, Tim Allen
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    Why do you always have to make her feel bad, asshole?
     
  16. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    They couldn’t do an alignment when they put the tires on?
     
  17. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Naa, discount tire just does tires
    place nextdoor does alignments but are booked for the day
     
  18. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    Do most women think all vehicle vibrations and noises just magically go away?
     
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  19. Struggler

    Struggler Well-Known Member
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    They do after turning up the radio.
     
  20. southside

    southside Well-Known Member
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    “Spiteful handjob” lmao
     
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  21. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    Been a couple of years since I’ve felt compelled to post in here.

    I’m currently sitting in a movie theater watching half of some fucking Harry Potter prequel waiting for it to end (only 66 minutes to go)! Why you ask? Well because my wife lost her phone inside a reclining seat in this theater at the previous showing. She was on a “work field trip” her stupid coworkers dreamt up. There is a family of four in the row and their teenage daughter is in the seat my wife sat in. I used google to track her phone and I can hear it ringing inside the seat but I’ve already spent 5 minutes trying to locate it. I’m going to have to destroy the goddamn thing to get it. I bought a $50.00 gift card to give the family for ruining their movie (cheaper than a new phone though right?).

    Not exactly how I pictured spending my Thanksgiving Eve.
     
  22. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Watch the movie because Harry Potter is awesome.
     
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  23. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    I’ve seen zero seconds of Harry Potter and I missed the first hour of this one.
     
  24. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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    BuckeyeRiot is the guy on his phone in a dark theater
     
  25. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Seems like you have some reading to do.
    Also if you are waiting until the end to get the phone, why give the family a gift card?
     
  26. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    Because I interrupted their movie twice for several minutes each trying to get the fucker out.
     
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  27. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Ohhhh. Makes sense.
     
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  28. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    Also I was older when HP came out and wasn’t very interested. Now that I have a son it seems like the perfect thing to get into with him once he’s old enough.
     
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  29. dathalfnukkahd

    dathalfnukkahd dat nukka high definition
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    takes a couples days
     
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  30. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    They do. after you buy them a new vehicle because their old one died. The new one is prettier anyways. It's science.
     
    #6381 Imurhuckleberry, Nov 22, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2018
  31. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    And happy Thanksgiving to all you fucks and your dumb shit doing wives and girlfriends! :)
     
  32. mp_22

    mp_22 Well-Known Member
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    One Two likes this.
  33. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Thanks for the bump. So I’ve been a huge pain in the ass lately. I’m laid up on the couch post op and can’t do shit so me and the Mrs. are at each other’s throats. The Saturday night after thanksgiving she gets white wine drunk and is on one. Full hilljack. She keeps dialing my fathers phone, putting it on speaker and tossing it on me as I lay on the couch saying how I need to tell him how horrible of a person I am. She does this like 10 times. She proceeds to start hitting me with a book on the legs as I keep laughing hysterically and just ending the phone call
     
  34. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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  35. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    I’m sorry but what is full hilljack?
     
  36. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    Redneck
     
  37. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    Virginia Tech HokiesTiger Woods

    Hillbilly
     
  38. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Different. It’s a mix of red neck and hillbilly.
     
  39. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    Cole Fisher
     
  40. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    And she’s trying to kill you because...
     
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  41. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    I made her mad because I’m not showing her enough affection “emotionally” because I’m injured.
     
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  42. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Your mouth ain’t injured, is it?

    Goes both ways, pal.
     
  43. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Yeah my mouth gets me into this shit. I’m not playing the innocent victim. I say horrible things and she lashes out. #justcouplethings
     
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  44. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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  45. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
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    less mouth getting you into shit, more getting shit into your mouth, ya dig?
     
  46. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Post trying to murder sex is amazing.
     
  47. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    Hilljack Mrs. Hoss is one of the most beautifully terrifying things I’ve had the pleasure to witness.

    Imagine Jean Gray, full on Phoenix, but from the ozarks.

    Price of admission
     
  48. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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    We were running down the ingredient list to make a pot of chili and she pronounced cumin as “cummin”. I made her repeat it several times before correcting her. It was hilarious.
     
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  49. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Yikes. You should tell her bashing on people with medical conditions isn’t nice, let alone calling your dad on speaker. I don’t know you or your lady but if I was a father I’d probably be all weird then tell you to tell her to slow down a bit.