Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    This was really funny, and a great post.

    No reason to pile on after that.
     
  2. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Me: What’s this $95 amazon charge?
    Her: Christmas presents for the boys.
    Me: What did you get them?
    Her: They really wanted these toy trucks. Both of the trucks are really nice.
    Me: Two toy trucks for a 4 and 2 year old cost $95? Are you fucking serious?
    Her: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO BUY THEN? YOU CAN DO ALL THE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING, JERK! YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL SO BAD ABOUT MONEY.
    Me: Well, yeah, you spent $95 on toy trucks. You should feel bad.

    She’s currently crying in bed and I’m an asshole for not buying into her Christmas vision.
     
  3. mp_22

    mp_22 Well-Known Member
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    You ain’t getting laid tonight
     
  4. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    He still has time.
     
  5. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    I dunno kinda seems like an overreaction there on your part jonbenet.
     
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  6. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    It's his $95, not hers
     
  7. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Married father of two. He likely wasn’t anyway.
     
  8. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Meh...that kind of purchase is always going to get a reaction out of me. $100 for toy trucks for toddlers is absurd.
     
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  9. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Gotta let that kind of thing slide unless you can't afford it.




    Can you afford a random $100 purchase?
     
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  10. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    I’ve spent $100 on way dumber shit.
     
  11. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    3 options here as I see it according to TMB think tank.

    1. Let it slide
    2. Tell her it’s not right.
    3. Alpha male, let her know you’re fucking someone else and really straighten her out.
     
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  12. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    Pics/links to trucks then I'll form my opinion

    TIA
     
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  13. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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  14. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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  15. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    I think I’ve spent $300 on bourbon this week alone. Let’s not get too deep into those details.
    4. Bust her balls (ovaries?) because we have different views on money and plan for divorce only to save the marriage with a little booty eating
    I’m pretty sure this was one of them:

    https://www.amazon.com/Garbage-Truck-Toy-Model-Recycling/dp/B074WMYNBF/
     
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  16. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Lol your kids are gonna be garbagemen
     
  17. HotMic

    HotMic PopTart Mascot Enthusiast
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    Advice: lick her butthole
     
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  18. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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  19. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Saw this thought it belonged here
    [​IMG]
     
  20. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    p sweet truck to be honest. Worth $36 imo. Also, added value of teaching recycling.
     
  21. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    It could be a chicken then. Or a duck. Can it float?
     
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  22. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Is it made of wood?
     
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  23. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    My MIL is a straight unreliable fucktard. She's free for helping with kids so I try not to bitch. My son has his driving test today at 10am, you are supposed to be there 30 minutes early. My office is less than 5 minutes from DMV and he is taking test in my car. She texts me at 8:53 and says I'll be by your office before 9:30. She lives a good 20 minutes away so I assume she is leaving immediately. 9:30 I text her asking if she already checked him out, nothing. 9:40 I text him and ask him if he is checked out, nothing. Use find my phone and it shows him still at school. 9:45 she calls in a panic she is still at her house bc she lost track of time. So I tell her to go straight to DMV and I'll check him out. Even though I'm busy I leave work, check him out and at the DMV 9:54. She calls and asks directions. We live in a small town, not very hard. I tell her to take Summerhill exit, turn right on Moores Lane, turn on right on Hampton. 10 minutes later she calls again asking what road I said to turn on first. I repeat Moores, she says oh shit I turned on Park. She finally gets there 5 minutes later and takes forever getting out of car and doesn't even talk bc she is listening to an audio book with headphones. I have to yell in parking lot bc she can't hear me she still has the fucking keys in her purse. JFC I'm about to lose it
     
    #6473 blind dog, Nov 30, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2018
  24. dathalfnukkahd

    dathalfnukkahd dat nukka high definition
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    You should tell her she sucks at life
     
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  25. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    So far her grandmother and great aunt have gotten Alzheimer's and I'm worried it's starting for her. She literally forgets simple things constantly, has been getting progressively worse last few years. So frustrating but same time she goes way out of her way to help and don't know how all of our kids would get around without her.
     
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  26. mp_22

    mp_22 Well-Known Member
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    Did he pass the test that’s all that matters?
     
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  27. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Indeed.
     
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  28. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    Yes, which is scary but he is an awful driver
     
  29. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    every 16 y/o is an awful driver :idk:
     
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  30. blind dog

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    True but he is extra awful.
     
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  31. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    well that's expected, he is your son.

    boom roasted
     
  32. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    Blind dog walked into that one. Maybe he really is blind.
     
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  33. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Her: wake up
    Me: it's 5 am, what?
    Her: will you go to my cart and get my I phone charger?
    Me: just use mine it's right there.
    Her: yeah but what if you need it?
    Me: my phone's charged and I don't use it in my sleep


    A: it's cold outside and B: I came back in to see her phone on my charger because I "took too long." FML
     
  34. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    Why couldn’t she get it herself if she needed it that bad and dismissed the reasonable alternative of using yours?
     
  35. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    Is your wife Asian?
     
  36. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    Have you ever met a woman?
     
  37. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    More so asking why it wasn’t met with a yao face
     
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  38. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    I always think of the below video when someone says that. Bad drivers come from a lack of good car related parenting. We were talking about this at Thanksgiving. How old were you when your dad first let you sit on his lap and drive? I was apparently 2 though I don't remember it. My gf and her sister? Never. Never drove until drivers education. But there lil brother was allowed when he was like five.

    Today they both drive poorly. Correlation isn't causation but I suspect those facts are probably related. Makes me wonder actually, with all the new super duper safety laws do kids actually still get to do the sit on the lap and steer?

     
    #6488 Imurhuckleberry, Dec 1, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2018
  39. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Pffft. Fuck that shit.
     
  40. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    gotta strangle her with her cord that you went and got.
     
  41. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Id guess she forgot that you had a charger and then tried to cover it up with the rest of the bs.
     
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  42. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    How old are you? When was that a thing? Never heard of it
     
  43. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    If you were a kid in the 80's that was the norm. Never even occurred to me that it wouldn't still be until this morning. Actually interested now. How did all y'all learn to drive?
     
  44. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Born in 78. I don't remember learning to drive when I was 5 or ever sitting on parents lap while they drove. In my teens my dad took me to parking lots/empty areas and started teaching me to drive. I caught on pretty quick and I'm a good driver (because I'm a man).

    Also that little girl changing the oil video is great. Gonna show my daughters, they'll love that channel.
     
  45. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Maybe it was regional. Where did you grow up? I spent the early years in nw Iowa. We also ran a small car dealership so I remember moving cars around the lot as soon as I could reach the pedals and see over the dash. So maybe my experience wasn't as typical as I always thought.
     
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  46. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    I think it has more to do with giving a kid some responsibility which in turn creates an interest which leads to the kids paying attention to how it's done.
     
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  47. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Agreed. I always just felt like the early part of that responsibility was actually steering from my dad's lap. I remember learning to make a one handed right turn with only my palm in like 3rd grade. How to pick the right angle to move smoothly through a curve. Good times.
     
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  48. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    Both my parents let me steer on their laps. Probably from about 3 or 4 years old.

    My best friend and I loved Dukes of Hazard and we always wondered how they made the General Lee jump higher and further than the ramp or dirt pile would suggest that they could jump.

    So we convinced ourselves that when you slam both the gas pedal and the brake, it does something to make the car jump further.

    When I was y’all enough to reach the pedals and still steer from my mom’s lap, I tried to launch the ol station wagon and my mom freaked and I didn’t get to drive from her lap for a long time.

    Truly learned to drive when I was 10-11 and my dad threw me the keys to his Jeep at the deer lease and told me to figure it out.
     
  49. Thoros of Beer

    Thoros of Beer Academy Award-Winning Actor, Tim Allen
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    Sounds like your dad was trashed
     
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  50. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    Probably. But he usually taught me how to do things after I tried to do it myself