Family members around the holidays

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Bo Pelinis, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. DrunkJester

    DrunkJester No longer drunk or funny.
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    I could be wrong, but I think I read this rule somewhere in the last 50 pages of the thread: if you have reason to anticipate a family confrontation and have at least five minutes’ warning, you are obligated to film the confrontation and post itt. I don’t make the rules.
     
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  2. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    Is this sexual innuendo? It sounds like sexual innuendo.
     
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  3. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Oh god no, I just threw up in my mouth a little..
     
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  4. DrunkJester

    DrunkJester No longer drunk or funny.
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    I should’ve known better than to use a sports metaphor on a sports message board.
     
    wes tegg and devine like this.
  5. southside

    southside Well-Known Member
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    Parents gifts wrapped on Xmas eve. Xmas morning, couch littered with unwrapped presents from a Santa. Go bonkers from all the excitement overload at once. It’s the way to go
     
  6. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    Gonna need to hear more about this
     
  7. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    My brother-in-law’s sister just showed up. She brought vegan pigs-in-a-blanket. We had a good laugh about it.
     
  8. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    One of my nephews that's a freshman in college spent his entire Christmas Eve evening in his bedroom arguing with his girlfriend and sending out threats to the guy she slept with while they were broken up (who also happens to be roommates with his older brother) even though he slept with other people while they were single, which caused big brother to get involved and tell younger brother to stop sending threats to his roommate

    Oh to be young again
     
  9. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    My father-in-law is recovering from a broken back and now he’s asking everyone else in the family to do things for him. Like, get off your ass, old man, and find the piece of paper that slipped underneath the couch yourself.
     
  10. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Ex wife is currently 50 minutes late, so she's still 10 minutes early for her.

    Aunt's boyfriend informed us this morning he'd double booked Christmas so he isn't coming so we now have 16 people worth of food with 12 people coming.
     
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  11. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    My mother-in-law asked that I make the bacon for brunch today and now she won’t stop thanking and complimenting me. Once was enough!
     
  12. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    My parents had presents for us from them wrapped and under the tree and presents from “Santa” unwrapped sitting out in front of the tree. Best of both worlds, we loved it.

    That is what I do now for my son. He seems to like it, but he’s two so who really knows.
     
    wes tegg, Arkadin, oldberg and 12 others like this.
  13. Capt Wigs

    Capt Wigs Well-Known Member
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    Soy bean in a blanket doesn't have the same ring to it.
     
  14. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    So far one of my wife’s cousins brought in her big gift. It’s a realistic looking Chewbacca doll. She’s like 30

    Another cousin got an assault style 12 gauge

    Another cousin has already started drinking so I’m about to follow suit and they can talk about me later in their family member thread
     
  15. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    To the tune of Walkin’ in Memphis

    Murdered on Christmas
     
  16. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    I made the mistake of drinking away my misery last night so much that now I’m miserable and hungover.

    Guess the only thing to do now is start drinking again
     
  17. southside

    southside Well-Known Member
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    I’m on a beach in Tulum sin familia. Life is very very good
     
  18. London Humphreys

    London Humphreys The next Julian Edelman, obviously.
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    This is what we went with.
     
  19. Bo Pelinis

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    Yeah but did she compliment you on your aioli
     
  20. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    The Chewbacca doll, that's for your wife from her cousin? Or it's the cousin's gift?
     
  21. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Congrats on the leftovers
     
  22. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    It’s the cousin’s gift from her parents

    She’s carrying it around everywhere
     
  23. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Of course! And not just the insane quantities I make but also the quality. Here’s the trick: mortar and pestle!
     
  24. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    Put a target on Chewbacca and open fire.
     
  25. Talking Head

    Talking Head The Bag Man
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    Santa presents were always unwrapped, parent presents wrapped.

    I was one of three though so I can’t even imagine how much more time wrapping that stuff would have taken.
     
    wes tegg, xec and blind dog like this.
  26. Bo Pelinis

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    Uh, everyone knows that trick. Everyone but know nothing home cooks at least. But all real professionals know that.
     
    CF3234, BlazingRebel, devine and 4 others like this.
  27. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Can't find the shitty gifts thread, but my friend was asking if it's possible to return something to Amazon you didn't actually purchase.
     
  28. Bo Pelinis

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    Yeah. Take it back to WalMart.
     
  29. Bo Pelinis

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    Have you ever made gallons of aioli with a mortar and pestle? I’ve been mistaken for Popeye several times in the past.
     
  30. ohbluefan

    ohbluefan Well-Known Member
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    We’re leaving for Cancun in the morning, enjoy!!!
     
    Wallcoq likes this.
  31. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    My FiL recently purchased a 75 inch Sony Bravia 4K TV and my two brother in laws and I have been playing Mario Kart 8 on it. So it could be going worse.
     
    #3231 The Blackfish, Dec 25, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2018
  32. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Awful that you had to find out that way.
     
  33. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    Knicks/Bucks game is ending and they show a dunk

    MIL - isn’t that called tending the goal?
     
  34. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Likely just said my goodbye to my grandpa.... My last grandparent. Love hearing him talk clemson football. "Dem boys better get low this time vs bama."
    86 years old. Started as a telephone salesmen. Moved the family from the projects to the house he had built...that we just left.


    Merry Christmas yall.
     
  35. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
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  36. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Yea,but he's in decent enough health . Which is good. Something like 40% heart function and same for lungs I think.
     
  37. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Sorry to hear this man. Happy though you got one last Christmas with him.
     
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  38. xec

    xec Well-Known Member
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    He calls ostarine “low”?
     
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  39. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Thanks man!
     
    One Two likes this.
  40. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    Update I’m probably the drunkest person here. Should probably slow my roll but yolo will have to leave for our flight before we see them again
     
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  41. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    As the saying goes, go hard and then go home
     
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  42. Randy Dangus

    Randy Dangus Invigorated after sunning my butthole
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    Nebraska Cornhuskers

    Welp, my SiL’s younger sister proceeded to get hammered (while nobody else is indulging) and choke on prime rib 20 minutes ago. Had my phone in my hand to call 911 as her face turned blue and her dad performed the heimlich. As I hit call she coughed it up and pissed her pants at the same time. Merry Christmas.
     
    #3242 Randy Dangus, Dec 25, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2020
  43. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Funny and scary
     
  44. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    I got drunk shit in my sister’s kitchen sink and she had the nerve to ask me to clean it. I mean like wtf is wrong with her.
     
    Luka likes this.
  45. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
    Donor

  46. Schadenfred

    Schadenfred Well-Known Member

    That sounds horrible. I can't imagine how scary that was. To lose a good piece of prime rib is a real tragedy.
     
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  47. Taques

    Taques sometimes maybe good sometimes maybe shit
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    my in laws had a big argument about trumps wall in the lyft yesterday which was fun
     
  48. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    [​IMG]
     
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  49. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    My wife just quietly asked me to quit drinking

    I guess I’m that guy :/
     
  50. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    This is outstanding.