“This is a double whammy for me, Peggy. You’re going away for two weeks, and there’s no propane convention.”
"This isn't really the best time to put me back in PE. They're making everybody take the Presidential Fitness Test." "Bobby, when the President asks you to take a test, you take the test."
"Well when you cross the finish line, Bobby, i'll be right there with the vidya cam. Even though it brings out certain instincts in you"
The whole sequence in the episode where Bill loses his TD record is just amazing. Hank- “If he doesn’t work out in the NFL, he has a job at Strickland Propane. Pending Marx Strickland’s approval, of course.” Players separate to let him wobble into end zone, he fumbles and other team hands it to him and salutes as he wobbles across goal line. Everyone cheers. Hank- “May god have mercy on all of you.” As far as favorite episodes, any episode featuring Bill as a main plot character are gold.
New favorite episode is the one where Hank rents a big rig to transport some antique furniture to his mom and it's just a beutiful cornucopia of Hank's OTR life principles. Season. A+ for Little Feat reference in the title
Hank: “I told you about the time I put on the gigantic pair of khakis and pretended I was tiny. I was very upfront about that!”
PEGGY: Look, if you want a dog inside the house, it says right here that there are several hypoallergenic breeds of dog, such as poodles or hairless. HANK: A poodle? Why not just go all the way and get me a cat and a sex-change operation?
Peggy: "Did a woman ruin the Supreme Court?" Hank: "Yes, and that woman's name was Earl Warren" --- Saw this on Instagram yesterday: Hank: (While grilling) "Firm but with a little give. Yup, these are medium-rare." Bobby: "What if somebody wants theirs well-done?" Hank: "We ask them politely, yet firmly, to leave." --- Dale: "So it turns out I'm not the actual Dale Gribble, but a clone of him. The original Dale Gribble is a super-warrior from the year 2087. The second me, i.e., I, was created to help the first me fight the invading Mongol armies." Hank: "Dale, that's asinine, and here's four reasons why: First, you're not gonna clone a super-warrior out of a guy who can't even win a thumb-wrestling match. Two, you've spent your life swearing that the robots will eliminate the clones by the year 2010, so which is it, robots or clones? Three, you've already said you sympathize with the invading Mongolians of 2087, so you'd be the last one they'd send to fight them. And four, if you were from the future, you would have seen this coming." -- Hank: (Playing Grand Theft Auto) "Oh God, I just stabbed the parking attendant! Where's the button to turn myself in? -- Hank: "God, I'm too high to drive! That's a side effect of marijuana poisoning."
I can't ever find the clip of it online, but the scene in where Hank is talking to some high school gym teacher/counselor about marijuana is amazing. "So my son-- who will be attending arlen high in a couple of years, god willing-- he could get, uh, baked and leave his name tag in some bushes somewhere and then not remember?" "yeah, yeah. We call that blacking out. Heck, i was in prison with a guy who was doing life for a murder he didn't even remember committing." "Okay? So someone could take dope, blackout in a field and kill a co-worker?" "co-worker, cab driver, prostitute. It doesn't matter who."
Bobby goes nuts is such a good episode After Bobby tells his dad he got detention for beating up a bully: HANK: Well, all right, son! You know, that Chane Wasonasong must know all kinds of Oriental martial arts, and you beat him with good old American YMCA know-how
*hills are packing for a road trip* Bobby: “why do we need toilet seat covers?” Peggy: “one word: Tennessee”
I love when Hank busts in on Bobby and there's a cheer leader outfit on his bed and he looks at him and says "Bobby, there better be a naked cheerleader under your bed"
Watched the episode where hank and Peggy get a motorcycle last night. Laughed at this exchange- Dale Gribble: Although, I guess if we root for the Texans, it doesn't mean we'd have to stop rooting for the Cowboys Hank Hill: Well, they are in different conferences. So, it'd only be a problem if they played in the Super Bowl. An all Texas Super Bowl... His will be done.
*hank hill walks in on bobby trying to grow roses in his closet* "sticks? and lights? is this some kind of puppet theater?!"
bill: “you cut dale’s finger off for building a tunnel! i made a vest out of your wife’s underpants, i can’t imagine what you’d do to me!”
I just want to say the Wichita Falls episode particularly the propane store scene makes me cackle like a witch when I remember Jeff and Jeff Jr.
Always weird how they launch into Boomer Sooner because Hank is gushing over the Cowboys, but it's accurate because that's how the typical OU fan argues.
Hard pass. Dale should be played Toby Huss, who I’m pretty sure he’s modeled after, you can easily put a bald cap on Stephen Root for Bill, and Brad Pitt aka Patch Boomhauer should play his brother. Hanks is the only one I’m okay with but you could also just put a wig on Mike Judge.
I'd rather just Judge make a decent animated movie a la Beavis and Butthead Do America at this point.
It completely ignores the essence of the characters in favor of people who bear a passing resemblance to them. I don’t need NPH doing a Dale impression, etc., I need the original voice actors to give me more classic KotH moments.
David Koechner is hilarious but he’d actually work the least. Stephen Root is The Billdozer and no one else can ever be that.
Detroit hasn't felt any real pride since George Bush went to Japan and vomited on their auto executives
Three Coaches and a Bobby is such an amazing episode Bobby: Coach, I think I swallowed too much mud Coach Sauers: Take a salt tablet Coach Sauers: Okay, Louisa May, go play your ballerina ball. Just leave your penis in the bucket Bobby: I'd rather be on a losing football team than a winning soccer team any day
I think it's that episode where Bobby is practicing his soccer kids and very effeminately screams "YEEEEEEW"
Hank (while closing the garage door): Bobby! That mirror is for practicing golf swings in, not your prop comedy Hank: you're going out for Landry the Longhorn? So you're not prancing around the garage at all, you're training (opening the garage door) such an elite show
Happy fourth John Redcorn : [Hank buys fireworks from John Redcorn] These sparklers will blow your mind, Hank. When you write in the air, the words will stay there for almost a *second*. Hank Hill : For the last time, John Redcorn, I am not a narc. Now I've got a stack of twenties and a tarp for the back of my truck. Let's make this happen. John Redcorn : [John Redcorn pulls out a crate of fireworks] Be careful. Some of these are illegal... in *Mexico*.