Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

My sword is called Buttmuncher

 

my expertise doesn't come cheap

 

Its hilarious to watch his posting style go from his "Roy" posting, back to something which resembles a regular poster. Comments like "what is this amateur hour?" sound nothing like what Roy and his "sorry about that" posts.

Definitely a troll. I petition to start a new "dumb shit my bff does" and leave this to Roy and his rambling bullshit.

 

I have a Master Sword that was bathed in the Hyrulian Sacred Flames.

 

I’ll quit posting in the thread if I’m pissing everybody off. I just respond to comments when I get a notification or someone tags me. I’m not trying to blow up the spot. I feel bad now.

 

Nerd

 

Why was this your response to his post? He was just playing along with you.

 

I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with my hands. Some posters seem seriously annoyed with me.

 

You're not posting anyone off. Just tell him to put you on ignore if you bother him that much. Quit apologizing so much. You've done nothing.

 

You’re a nerd. Nerd. I’d still love to catch a show and some drinks with you and tot next time I’m in Portland.

 

So she came home after work, left the recycling outside, and when I told her she forgot to move it back, she told me to do it. I laughed and said she needed to offer much more than that. Unfortunately, She didn’t get that part of my response, so She moved it back until next week. Oh well. Stupid girl.

 

You remind me of........me. Ask anyone who's been around a while and if you remind me of me then you got problems that you haven't addressed. It took multiple detoxes and 3 stints in rehab until I finally realized I needed therapy. I talked like you do and thought nothing was wrong years before it all fell apart. I started seeing a therapist once a week to finally get some self-realization.

I'm not sober yet but at least I understand I have things I need to work on with life. Once a week therapy has been a Godsend. So I'm working on it and getting better. It's a journey, not a race, but eventually I'll get there.

P.S. I've got a great career, too (and having a great career doesn't make you stable). I've rushed into relationships with red flags, too (and every time they were disasters). I blamed everything on being an alcoholic, too (but the alcoholism is more of a result than a cause). At least with me and I'm pretty sure you, but I'm no psychologist so, seriously, at least go once (and be 100% honest with them)? If you don't like it pick a new one and go again. And again. It doesn't hurt to try.

I don't think you're an idiot. I just think you need to wake yourself up and stop believing your smoke and mirrors.

 

Thanks. I don’t want to derail the thread anymore but appreciate it. I’m glad you’re feeling better and happy for you. We can talk in the private thread if you want.

 

Back when people used to get annoyed of me (which they no longer do) I learned to post more and eventually they’ll like you

 

The Valtrex helps too

 

Used to?

 

What?

 

You used to annoy me but you grew to be one of my favorites.

 

Stop beating yourself up over derailing the thread. It happened. No biggee.

1. You did
2. Who fucking cares? It didn't make my life any better or worse. It just took me longer to catch up on the thread :)
3. What private thread?

 

Real Roy's diary thread I think

 

There’s one on pm that several multiple people are members of. A recovery thread. I don’t know who has to give you permission to post but they will. Or just hit me up.

 

I’ll post in that thread but not too much about this stuff.

 

Oh I might be a member already. Or was. I haven't been active much in a while.

 

So last night I'm in the kitchen making a quick sandwich, with a pita pocket (this is key) before I hit the bar to go watch the bearcats game with a couple buddies:

Wife looking at my sandwich on the plate as I'm stuffing the pita..

Wife: Oh, that's a good idea to cut the pita in half
Me: Yeah
Wife: That looks way easier than how I did it today
Me:


I didn't even wanna know she made hers. I can just picture her slicing the pita open like you would a bagel or something.

 

Anybody else have a partner that seems to lack mastery of even the most basic tenets of fire safety?

She loves candles. So much so she loves to put them right in the middle of her stacks of paperwork, directly under cabinets, etc. Came home yesterday and she was happily clipping away at paperwork with incense and candles with loose papers, like, overlapping on them. Also, space heater with the drapes laying right over it.

No clue how our house hasn't burned down yet

 

T&P's for your impending loss of home

UncleJesse might be able to offer some advice having gone through the process himself

 

Buy her some scentsy stuff for valentine's day and throw the candles away

 

Came home a couple years ago and she had a candle under one of our cabinets and the cabinet door was starting on fire with the flame climbing the door like 12". Wtf. Thought i had cleared shit up pretty well then and there.

Yeah, we're gonna die

 

Make sure your premium in paid and up to date.

 

Dude. WTF?

 

That will definitely burn your house down.

 

I'll be sure to make a post in the "stupid things" thread when she burns our house down cuz that's p stupid iyam

 

pnk$krtcryna$ty start investing in some wax burners

 

Might be cheaper to get a new wife.

 

I wonder if "fire safety concerns" has ever been listed as a chief reason on divorce filings before.

Might even get me sole custody of our daughter

 

Thinking i'll install some sconces in safe places where the only candles in the house can go

 

Just get her some of these bulbs

 

She's obviously a pyro. She's not going to be satisfied with pretty lights.

 

From the sounds of it she is probably making sure his life insurance premiums are paid up instead. "I'm just so silly with fire."

 

I've made peace with leaving this earth staggering down the street, arms flailing, completely engulfed in flames.

They got start running background checks at yankee candle

 

Candles don't kill people, people do.

 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last few years, it’s to never stop posting.

 

Catching up. I assume, after a string of post about organizing, this is the person responsible for me having to decide what I feel connected with in my closest by ‘touching and feeling’ every piece of clothing.

Yep, was going to just avoid posting but this did the trick.

She loses shit (including finding a credit card she had to cancel, because it was in the dryer because why wouldn’t it be stuck in the dryer for 3 weeks) because she loses shit. Most of the shit I lose? Because she organizes shit just as I figure out where everything is located from the previous reorganizing of shit.

 

Yep, and that's why candles aren't allowed in our home anymore

 

pnk$krtcryna$ty I don’t have any advice on how to stop your wife from burning down the house with candles, but I do have some advice on which candles would be most soothing to burn to death to