HoF [REDACTED] v2.0: FUCK...We suck again!

Dansby with another bomb. This one to CF

 

Bae gonna hit like Seager and field like Andrelton

Finally a trade will look good for us

 

Thats the best piece of hitting I've ever seen from him. I'm getting optimistic about him at the plate this year

 

Oppo CF??

 

And we have stupid fucks like JeremyLambsFace want to give me shit about "complaining about the back end of the order"....

I just reverse jinxed half our fucking team. Suck my dick, SUCK OUR DICKS NL EAST

 

Dansby gonna hit 30 Dingers from the 8 hole

 

lets go Ace

 

Harper going to go 4-4 with 4 massive HRS.

JT gonna get everyone else out.

Braves lose 0-4. Tobias cheers for a TQS

 

I’m sure it’s gaping

 

We end Spring Practice with a walk off Grand Slam

 

162-0

 

It's the only logical solution

 

I have zero doubt that Harper is hitting a homerun in his 1st at bat as a Philly. Citizens Bank is going to go nuts.

 

Not if Teheran let’s him wear one.

 

Hope he's got that 88mph heater working

 

Gonna hurt real bad

 

At least hit him with the slider on the back knee

 

Throw at his fucking head

 

Fuck the Phillies

 

Gabe Kapler was selected by a plurality of players as the manager they'd least like to play for

 

Could always be worse. The Orioles are starting Rio Ruiz at 3B opening day. Yeesh.

 

Rio hit .283/.371/.566 in 60 ST PAs.

Read into it.

 

I went and looked at his numbers earlier and was pretty impressed, then looked at his opponent quality score that BRef puts together for ST and it was 7.4, which is roughly Double-A. Not great, Bob.

 

His prediction last year was Indians over Nationals. Olney is a nerd.

 

Teheran/Harper 1st inning sequence

- 1st pitch : Teheran pulls the string, Harper jumps out of his shoes and misses. 0-1
- 2nd pitch : Teheran decides it's time to start nibblin and misses low with offspeed : 1-1
- 3rd pitch : Nibble to the outside : 2-1
- 4th pitch : Teheran gonna fool Bryce with a backdoor slider. Backdoor slider goes 450 feet into the 3rd deck.

5+ IP, 3 H, 3 ER, 4 BB, 7 Ks, 92 pitches

ACE ACE ACE ACE

 

i see some posters are working themselves into a mob mentality over the hypothetical of a TQS

pathetic

 

Oh yea I'm sure it will be an awesome pencil sharpener giveaway for a Wednesday night Marlins game or something

 

prolly just bobby cox throwing out the first pitch or something

 

tobias' 2019 OFFICIAL worst smoltzy posters power rankings:

1. drown em. makes ale look like a stable individual. has all the tools to take this the distance
2. ale. a day 1 awful, awful poster
3. summer of george. still raw and unproven but quickly establishing himself as one of the whiniest people on planet earth
4. jeremylambsface. always wrong about everything

we're in for a wild ride this year. i could see any one of the four taking the crown

 

Me, sitting in Section 425

 

you can't gif your way out of this one, george

 

Tobias clearly has no intention of relinquishing his grip on the cuntiest poster trophy

 

I'm just happy that my actual Braves fan persona has come across so perfectly in my Braves e-persona

 

gus be careful i reserve the right to expand the list from four to five

 

For Christ’s sake do you really think anyone cares about your personal rankings of posters? Great job kicking the hornets’ nest. I’ve been respecting others wishes of posting less but keep calling me out and I’ll continue to make this thread unbearable.

 

yes. this thread is built upon stats i have created through my proprietary formula (TQS) so i fully expect people to enjoy further stats i have created (like the worst posters list that was generated from a second proprietary formula)

 

Guys guys guys - no need to fret! Our signing of Ryan Flaherty will be official later today. Sandra said so. This is a joyous day.

 

Typical North Carolina prick. As soon as you pass South of the Border on 95 the arrogance starts to fill the air. Why should I expect less in this thread?

 

Thread in full barves meltdown mode already

 

Tobias you just got your #1 to shitpost more so I think you need to move yourself to #1 and bump everyone else down a slot

Actually I think the integrity of the four person list is crucial so just bump whoever is there off your list completely.

 

i just enter the numbers into the excel document on my computer and the rankings are calculated. my hands are clean here.

 

Not #1

 

#TrustTheAnalytics

 

What about five thirty eight’s algorithm?



And of course no other division had 4 teams with chances that high to win the NL East.

 

Also, how do you leave DMX off your list?