So You Have A Daughter....

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Celemo, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideUSA RugbyAtlanta BravesWashington CapitalsBaltimore Ravens

    Congrats dude, and good luck
     
    zachary likes this.
  2. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

  3. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Back to Back to Back AAU National Champs
    Donor

    All of these things are why SVP is my favorite.

    Just found out we’ve got another one on the way, don’t know if it’s a boy or girl yet but come November we’ll add another to our two dogs, and our daughter who will be 26 months when baby gets here.
     
    941Gator, Taffy, gus_chiggins and 8 others like this.
  4. jaygabriel

    jaygabriel Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Missouri TigersNew York YankeesKansas City Chiefs

    Officially the father of a 10-year-old daughter today. I shudder to think what the next 4-5 years will be like.
     
  5. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
    Donor
    Kentucky WildcatsBoston CelticsNew England PatriotsUniversity of LynchburgAEW

    What's the story here, adoption, married the girl's mom?
     
  6. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
    Donor
    Connecticut HuskiesTexas AandM Aggies altTexas RangersDallas StarsDallas Mavericks alt

    or maybe his daughter had a fucking birthday you weirdo
     
  7. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
    Donor
    Kentucky WildcatsBoston CelticsNew England PatriotsUniversity of LynchburgAEW

    Then he phrased his sentence very poorly.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  8. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
    Donor
    Connecticut HuskiesTexas AandM Aggies altTexas RangersDallas StarsDallas Mavericks alt

    :out:
     
    texasraider, jaygabriel and Tiffin like this.
  9. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesDallas CowboysNational LeagueAvengersBarAndGrill

    More like Nandor The Relentlessly Stupid ha ha
     
  10. Duck Smoker

    Duck Smoker Cheekbones like geometry and eyes like sin.
    Donor
    Florida GatorsDetroit Tigers

    Daughter is almost 16. I have a mid-life crisis sport sedan that has 400 HP V8/twin turbos. Wife is out of town with her vehicle for work, daughter's vehicle is in the shop, and we're cramming in hours of state-mandated, phone-tracked learner's permit driving in my car so she can get her license. Ask me anything about sheer terror and poor planning. Daughter also now constantly asking why she is stuck with having an old Rav4. Pretty good day, she saw 15 out of 18 stops signs. :facepalm:
     
    shivious, Brocephus, Doug and 32 others like this.
  11. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
    Donor
    Kentucky WildcatsBoston CelticsNew England PatriotsUniversity of LynchburgAEW

    How dare you besmirch my name, I am a former king of Al Quolanudar!
     
    JeremyLambsFace likes this.
  12. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
    Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesSwansea

    This is a thing now?
     
    bigred77, Hank Scorpio and dump like this.
  13. bama1

    bama1 I like you
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesMiami Dolphins

    Got a birthday this coming weekend for one of my daughters friends.

    Anyone got any unique ideas for a gift for a 3 year old girl? It’s one of my best friends daughter who has everything she could want so struggling on ideas.
     
  14. D. Silver

    D. Silver Russian Gas
    TMB OG
    Florida GatorsWashington NationalsWashington WizardsTennessee TitansWashington Capitals

    Just had our second girl 2 weeks ago.

    :smugdog:

    Don't care, daughters are awesome.
     
  15. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
    Donor
    Tennessee VolunteersAtlanta BravesNashville PredatorsGrateful DeadBonnaroo

    Fighting with my soon to be four year old. She is telling me no when I try to out her in a timeout.

    She had her tonsils taken out a week and half ago. It has been miserable since then.
     
  16. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Pony.
     
  17. Duck Smoker

    Duck Smoker Cheekbones like geometry and eyes like sin.
    Donor
    Florida GatorsDetroit Tigers

    Speaking only for Colorado, yes.

    Edit: just learned app is voluntary, can track manually. You can fill out a log, or just press start/stop on app.
     
    AlternativeFactsRule likes this.
  18. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
    Donor
    Wolfsburg

    Drum set
     
  19. bama1

    bama1 I like you
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesMiami Dolphins

    :laugh:

    My daughter is getting one some point this summer...:in-n-out:



    I seriously have no idea, Amazon isn’t much help either trying to find something target, Kohl’s etc doesn’t have
     
  20. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Philadelphia 76'ersArsenal

    Chia pet.
     
  21. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
    Donor
    Tennessee VolunteersAtlanta BravesNashville PredatorsGrateful DeadBonnaroo


    Memberships to a science center, zoo, aquarium. Fuck buying another toy for a three year old.

    Open a 529 account in the parents name and donate money to it.
     
    Doug, dump, REGGNECK and 1 other person like this.
  22. Constant

    Constant Meh
    Donor
    Detroit PistonsMichigan WolverinesDetroit Red WingsDetroit Lions

    Have done this for each of my grandchildren, and make a donation each birthday and Xmas.
     
    #522 Constant, May 20, 2019
    Last edited: May 20, 2019
  23. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Back to Back to Back AAU National Champs
    Donor

    Please take this to the “So you have a granddaughter” thread.
     
  24. Constant

    Constant Meh
    Donor
    Detroit PistonsMichigan WolverinesDetroit Red WingsDetroit Lions

    But it gets so lonely in there. :ohdear:
     
  25. tigergrad00

    tigergrad00 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Clemson TigersBoston Red SoxNew England PatriotsBoston Bruins

    My oldest daughter turns 13 later this year and my youngest daughter just turned 2. Thankfully we had 2 boys between them but now I'm getting the joyous hell from both ends with the girls
     
  26. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    Meatball has 3 friends over for his birthday sleepover, all 3 are showing off for Kendall
     
  27. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    “Hey Kendall, check this out”
    (Does something dumb)
     
  28. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
    Donor
    Kentucky WildcatsBoston CelticsNew England PatriotsUniversity of LynchburgAEW

    Get them to draw an NBA player. That will surely turn her off to them.
     
  29. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Older sister hot is one of the simple pleasures of a young boy’s life.
     
  30. ttuman10

    ttuman10 Well-Known Member

    Got one due in November too so my kid will forever know his parents got down on Valentine’s.

    Btw this whole thread has made me dread the pre teen/teen years for my 2 and a half year old daughter
     
    dump likes this.
  31. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    Her name was Carey and I know in the bottom of my heart she loved me and her brother’s spotless rendition of the Fresh Prince’s “Parents Just Don’t Understand”
     
  32. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
    Donor
    Connecticut HuskiesTexas AandM Aggies altTexas RangersDallas StarsDallas Mavericks alt

    :awshucks:
     
  33. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
    Donor

    Celemo pls you were like 20 when that song came out
     
  34. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    :ded:
     
    Lefthook and JeremyLambsFace like this.
  35. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I'm pretty sure 1/3 has started getting proto-boobs and I'm not ready for this.
     
  36. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Proto-boobs? You mean like breast buds?
     
  37. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsMiami HeatPoker

    same

    we're ready. we're dads. we can do this.

    wait, what do we have to do?
     
  38. Cardeja12

    Cardeja12 Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Are proto boobs a nice way to say starter titties? I'm in the dark here
     
  39. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Philadelphia 76'ersArsenal

    Only one job. Steer away from douche bags. It’s the only thing you can do.
     
    Han Solo likes this.
  40. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
    Donor
    Kentucky WildcatsBoston CelticsNew England PatriotsUniversity of LynchburgAEW

     
    Henry Blake likes this.
  41. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    That's my guess.

    I'm not up with the lingo of Dads speaking of little girls boobs. Clown Baby please help
     
  42. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

     
    Tiffin likes this.
  43. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    So Kendall got blindsided by Israel (the boy she been kinda seeing) on Valentine's Day. Turns out Israel brought roses and chocolates to another girl at school today. She's in her room sobbing and the gift he got her last year (a small elephant plushie) is in her trashcan. I wasn't planning to murder a middle school boy today but here we are
     
  44. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Atlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAvengers

    I’m your alibi homey. When the cops come calling, me and you were playing 2k.


    In the meantime I got a shovel, I’ll start digging.


    Signed,
    Girl dad
     
    Keef, dahldennsull, bigred77 and 11 others like this.
  45. Truman

    Truman Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Missouri TigersSt. Louis CardinalsChicago BullsSt. Louis BluesEvertonBook Club

    A) shove the elephant up his ass
    B) bump your other thread
    ????
    Profit
     
    bigred77, Nole0515 and THF like this.
  46. ramszoolander

    ramszoolander Known for Buns
    Donor
    West Virginia MountaineersBirmingham Legion

    Maaaaan I was still doing shit like that in college, I feel like.

    There are no girls in my family, all boys...even my mom didn't tell me not to do stuff like this...
     
  47. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

    Wife called me extra for sending our 2 year old flowers to daycare. Don't even care.
     
    BigReff73, Keef, bigred77 and 6 others like this.
  48. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    Sneaky fucking Israeli's lol
     
  49. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    Well I kinda talked her off the ledge. Told her about some of my greatest failed romances

    8th grade: had a huge crush on a girl, Leesha. Worked up the courage to ask her out and got shot down big time

    9th grade: was seeing a girl named Jessica and thought it was true love...she moved away and was seeing someone else like a week later

    10th grade: my “alternative” aka hipster gf Dena left me for a Vanilla Ice lookalike she met at a MC Hammer concert

    11th grade: turns out Melissa was a cheating whore

    12th grade: my gf Amanda was still hung up on her old bf and was waiting for him to take her back.

    explained to her the first heartbreak is the hardest and it won’t be the last time this happens either...fuck
     
  50. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Although you might want to ask her if little israel taught her how to spell any words