Sometimes the headline says it all, but sometimes there's more laughs within. 10 Surprisingly Effective 2pm Pick Me Ups 8. Prove Melissa wrong When she left you, she complained that you were unmotivated and directionless. Now, you’ve committed every fiber of your being to proving her wrong, to making sure that she will one day recognize what she did as the greatest mistake of her life, haunting her until the day she dies. Stay focused. Destroy her with your tenacity. 9. Put your hand into a paper shredder Just a little bit—deep enough to give you the jolt you need to cruise through the rest of the afternoon.
2. The time Dad 100 percent broke his collarbone and refused to go to the hospital because “there’s nothing they can do for that there” and ended up healing himself just fine
“Honestly, I might even pick it up on launch day,” said the profoundly foolish man, seeming to cast aside decades of painfully gained knowledge from time’s passage as he sought out an additional teaser trailer.
For the most part, Dad is a lame and boring man—a man who, like a toaster oven or mailbox, is largely a creature of utility, reliably doing what’s asked of him day in and day out with no detectable passion.
"I figured if I just hung out there until I heard him go down the stairs and then waited for the click of the front door to the building closing behind him then I should be good." OMG I FEEL PERSONALLY ATTACKED BY HOW RELATABLE THIS CONTENT IS
The caption from the Facebook post I found it on was even funnier, but I knew it wouldn't embed. "90s kids get out your checkbooks!"