Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. lfriend

    lfriend Well-Known Member
    Missouri TigersKansas City Chiefs

    Generally yes, but had to be super cautious about it when she was pregnant.

    If I had ate it, all of a sudden she would have told about her elaborate plans on how the leftovers were going to be devoured.
     
    AaronCE, a.tramp, bigred77 and 5 others like this.
  2. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishCleveland BrownsMontreal Canadiens

    So true, she doesn’t want me to touch her leftover chicken...1 and a half week later it’s still sitting in the fridge and we throw it out.
     
    Rabid, a.tramp, bigred77 and 4 others like this.
  3. lfriend

    lfriend Well-Known Member
    Missouri TigersKansas City Chiefs

    But if you had gone for it.

    "That was my entire plan till dinner and now we're going to starve" as she points to her stomach.
     
  4. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I give my wife a one day buffer on leftovers then they’re free game. Seems to work.
     
  5. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
    Donor

    In my family it was three days.


    In my first marriage I’d get in trouble for picking the good bits out of the leftovers over those three days.
     
    dahldennsull and captbunch like this.
  6. Degausser

    Degausser #NewProfilePic
    Donor
    Georgia BulldogsAtlanta Braves

    Just ate my wife's leftover hibachi from last night. There is no buffer in this house.
     
  7. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    I usually just eat leftovers without asking after a day or so and she seldom notices until days down the road anyway.
     
  8. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins Where you goin’ with those clubs, punk
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTiger WoodsGrateful Dead

    She never wants her leftovers. Unless I eat them....
     
  9. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Are you all married to my wife?
     
  10. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Fiancée almost always eats her leftovers and has stabbed me with a fork when I tried to take a shrimp off her plate so I don’t fuck with that.
     
  11. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishCleveland BrownsMontreal Canadiens

    Nothing to see here folks, this is going to end well
     
  12. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
    Donor

    She was going for the shrimp, to be fair. She just missed and hit my hand a little.
     
    One Two, Doc Louis, a.tramp and 3 others like this.
  13. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    She ever slide a knife under the door?
     
  14. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
    Donor
    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    That's how it starts
     
  15. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishCleveland BrownsMontreal Canadiens

    Her with half your cock bitten off in her mouth « i was just trying to kill the mosquito »
     
  16. HotMic

    HotMic PopTart Mascot Enthusiast
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsKent State Golden FlashesCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    Times my wife has brought home leftovers: 12,346

    Times she’s ate them: 7
     
  17. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins Where you goin’ with those clubs, punk
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTiger WoodsGrateful Dead

    But by God the ones you eat have been on her mind all day and she couldn’t wait to eat them when she got home!!!
     
    dahldennsull, Fecta23, FTK and 3 others like this.
  18. Degausser

    Degausser #NewProfilePic
    Donor
    Georgia BulldogsAtlanta Braves

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Phone, car keys, sunglasses. My wife "can't find" at least 1 of these things on a daily basis, usually all 3.

    Inevitably it turns in to her looking in the most random places frantically. I'll ask "did you check <insert logical place> yet?" BFF will say it wouldn't be there, at which point I'll casually walk over to the spot I suggested while she cotinues flipping shit like a mad woman, and retrieve said lost item.
     
  20. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
    Donor TMB OG

    38FE2CF4-0763-4D65-B74D-644DE86313C1.jpeg
    100% of the Supremely Spicy is gone, but 50% of the hummus is left. She ate all the good shit and I’m an asshole for explaining how this is a microcosm of our relationship.
     
  21. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Asshole
     
    Eathan Edwards and Oranjello like this.
  22. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsNotre Dame Fighting IrishAtlanta BravesDetroit LionsBarcelonaSneakers

    Ugh. You just don’t get it. She didn’t want you to find the item for her, she wanted you to empathize with how she was feeling and be there for her.
     
    NineteenNine, dump, bigred77 and 5 others like this.
  23. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
    Donor
    Florida GatorsAvengers

    It’s not about the nail.
     
  24. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
    Donor
    Oklahoma City ThunderCleveland BrownsOklahoma SoonersHouston Oilers

    step 1 when bringing flavored hummus home:

    [​IMG]
     
  25. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    You should get a box of twinkies, suck all of the cream out with a straw, and put them all back in the box and wait for the fireworks
     
    MSULLOYD likes this.
  26. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
    Donor
    East Carolina PiratesAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsCarolina PanthersWashington Football TeamCarolina HurricanesAvengers

    Girls are dumb
     
  27. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesChicago CubsReal Madrid

    Power is out due to a storm.

    Wife: “Is it OK to use the toilet when the power is out?”

    Me: “Why wouldn’t it be?

    Wife: “I don’t know if it’s safe to flush when the power is out.”

    Me: “I’m going to give you 10 seconds to think this through and ask again.”

    Wife: “But I need to poop! Please tell me!”

    Me: LOL

    Her: “Oh, wait, maybe it’s don’t take a shower when the power is out. Right?”

    Me: “Close enough.”
     
  28. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    To be fair, if you don't know how long power will be out then you may need to ration that toilet flush or put a bucket outside to catch water for more flushes.
     
  29. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 He should keep his mouth firmly shut
    Donor
    Auburn TigersManchester UnitedGame of ThronesGrateful DeadCoors Light

    damnit, I want to know what she'd done if you told her she shouldn't
     
  30. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesChicago CubsReal Madrid

    What?
     
  31. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
    Donor
    Georgia BulldogsAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsAtlanta United

  32. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    If the power is out then your water pump won't push more water into your toilet reservoir.
     
    dump, NP13 and Wallcoq like this.
  33. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    If you live in the sticks I guess
     
  34. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
    Donor
    East Carolina PiratesAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsCarolina PanthersWashington Football TeamCarolina HurricanesAvengers

    not everyone has city/county water people
     
  35. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesChicago CubsReal Madrid

    We have an old house. Still uses a manual water pump from our well.
     
  36. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    Honestly it's not something I've ever thought about. Ive just never had running water in a power outage. Over here I'm not sure if even Nassau gets running water in a power outage.
     
  37. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
    Donor
    Kentucky WildcatsBoston CelticsNew England PatriotsUniversity of LynchburgAEW

    House I grew up in also has a well. The house was in the county when it was built before the county did a water service, the then neighboring city annexed the area where we lived but the city decided they didn't want to spend the money to give everyone in the area city water. Since getting it would have required paying a few thousand to have the work done, parents opted to just stick with the well. Been holding strong like that for 30 years now.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  38. HotMic

    HotMic PopTart Mascot Enthusiast
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsKent State Golden FlashesCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    If you live in a house with a well, you only have a few flushes before you won’t have water. Did people not know that?
     
    #8838 HotMic, Jul 2, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2019
  39. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Well that's their problem
     
  40. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    that's just fucking dumb not to switch over
     
  41. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Philadelphia 76'ersArsenal

    I wish I did not have a well. I am not "in the sticks". I have no other option.
     
    PAHokie likes this.
  42. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Spend thousands of dollars to cost you more on a monthly bill for water?

    Yea, that's fucking dumb you dumbass
     
  43. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
    Staff Donor
    LSU TigersTexas RangersNew Orleans SaintsFulhamDulwich Hamlet

    a lot of rage on this page
     
  44. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    Despite all the rage we are still just rats in a cage
     
  45. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    Donor TMB OG
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsNew Jersey DevilsNew York Red BullsLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    I grew up in a house with a well. If we thought the power might go out, we’d fill the bathtub and use a bucket to fill the toilet tank from the tub water.
     
    -Asshole-, BigReff73, tjsblue and 4 others like this.
  46. HotMic

    HotMic PopTart Mascot Enthusiast
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsKent State Golden FlashesCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    We are the same.
     
    -Asshole- and shawnoc like this.
  47. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    sorry but if you have a well you're in the sticks.
     
    Champ likes this.
  48. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Philadelphia 76'ersArsenal

    Sorry.
     
  49. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    sorry i don't make the rules, it's just the way it is
     
  50. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    My lady also did not mix the hummus, but she only ate around the sides, so the toppings were untouched. Talk about a flavor island that I was treated with
     
    dahldennsull, shawnoc and slogan119 like this.