Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Do not hurt the dog
     
  2. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Kids are sound asleep at 8pm last night

    Wife is too tired for sex

    But absolutely has the energy to wake up at 6am and run 13 miles

    Married life
     
  3. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    She was only too tired for sex with you
     
  4. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    lloydchristmaswellyeah.gif
     
  5. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    This isn't something stupid my wife did, but more of a follow on to my car situation. She started negotiating with the dealer on a car. Price was silly, so I texted her the invoice price and what a fair trade in amount would be. The salesman huddled with his manager to get a better price.

    Came back with the same price, removed the warranty she never asked for to begin with, and added the incentive that should have been applied from the start :laugh:. I can't imagine having to haggle as a woman
     
  6. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    A bit Newcastley. #magpies
     
  7. Ralph

    Ralph Well-Known Member
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    I saw what it was like to be on the other side today. Misplaced my keys for the first time in forever:

    Her: What's wrong?
    Me: I can't find my keys.
    Her: Well, where did you put them?

    I'm saving that line for next time.
     
  8. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Have had friends walk out of dealerships when that crap happens
     
  9. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    And you never look back, I would laugh out of the building

    I know a few people in the business and it is incredible how unprofessional some dealerships are. They pray on stupid people and make it their business pretty much. They never last though
     
  10. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    She did, but I'm still kind of shocked at the audacity. She bought from a different place this morning at the right numbers.
     
  11. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    I think I should have a free pass forever if I misplace something. She is so bad about it. I had to go search the yard with a flashlight the other day for her keys.
     
  12. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    The Honda and Toyota dealerships are walking distance from each other in my home town. I got a good price on a Camry from my dad shopping dealerships around the state online. Took it into the local dealer and they agreed to match it. I then walked over to the Honda place and said if you can beat this price I’ll buy an Accord right now or if not I’m buying the Camry.

    Sales guy did that shit so I got up and walked back to the Camry dealership. Guy chased me across the parking lot on the phone with his manager yelling counter offers. He never beat the price. Bought the Camry.
     
  13. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    But now you drive a Toyota with their stupid cruise control stick.
     
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  14. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Going camping tmrw for 3 nights on Maui. All we need is a hammock, towels, and a couple pair of swim suits. I fit all of it in a small backpack with room to spare. Got distracted for a few minutes while I was packing and suddenly this materializes in the living room:

    32D14BFC-B5C0-4202-9EC6-FD255796ED43.jpeg

    :killme:
     
  15. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins Hey where you goin’ with those clubs punk
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    Don't worry, you'll be the one carrying it
     
  16. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    You should go with your dog and leave the woman home
     
  17. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Twice the fun half the price.
     
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  18. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    I overpack for trips. Dgaf
     
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  19. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Of course I am, she can’t even lift it out of the car.

    Good thing we booked multiple campsites!
     
  20. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    My wife had her purse stolen at the daycare drop off while she was taking my kids in.

    A car pulled up and someone opened the side door and took out her purse. They then proceeded to attempt to steal her identity by going into banks with wigs and wreaking all kinds of havoc. They took someone else's check they had stolen and deposited into our account, then took cash out of that deposit. So it looked like we essentially stole the money from the other victim. They did that at 2-3 different banks across the state. After talking to other victims (local police no fucking help whatsover) we figured out it was the Felony Lane Gang and they operate all over the country. There is even a Facebook task force and it was actually pretty interesting.

    In the end the only money we lost was all the new makeup my wife had (got) to buy. I couldn't even be mad at her because I would guess most people leave their car unlocked when running in with their kids. I know I typically did.
     
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  21. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    It's a good thing you always took your purse with you.
     
  22. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    there isn't "the" felony lane gang, like "the crips." Felony lane gang is just a label they put on groups of people going on sprees while traveling. It's a category. They operate all over the country the same way people drink and drive all over the country lol. The media tries to make it seem like 3 girls in Missouri are related to a group of 4 guys in Miami. Source: my office has about 6 felony lane gang cases right now.
     
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  23. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    They're generously helped by the city of Atlanta's catch and release policy towards minors.

    Then again Atlanta's had a lady who's been arrested over 80 times and is still allowed back in the community to squat in a neighborhood so we may be a little lax on small crimes that add up over time.
     
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  24. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    can't give a life sentence for a charge that doesn't carry life.
     
  25. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Interesting. Their method seemed fairly consistent so I assumed there is at least some organization.

    https://www.facebook.com/FelonyLaneGang/

    They target daycares and parks, they use a male to snag the purse and a female to go to the bank with their ID cards, and they use the IDs to create new accounts and commit check fraud. That seems a little more specific than comparing drinking and driving.
     
  26. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Every month my chick has to call Verizon for hours on end to pay our phone bill - we did the business plan and switched from AT&T to get the new iPhones roughly a year ago and since then we have been unable to set up autopay and also unable to even access the account online.

    I think she has received something like $2500 in concessions over the course of the last year instead of them just allowing us to access the damn account and set up autopay. Pretty sure they also don't even have an email to where you can have a paper trail of their miscues.

    The phone calls are hilarious though.
     
  27. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Very sure I didn't say that. But it's led to a noticeable uptick in those minor crimes like car break-ins.
     
  28. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    I (mis)read "back into the community," as why is she being let out. I was just giving a literal answer.
     
  29. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    There's one guy with Verizon that she gets into blowup arguments with pretty regularly. I thought she was out of her mind but I've now heard it on speaker a few times and the guy is a kind of a demeaning asshole.

    "Why can't you give me an email? You're a billion dollar company that can't give me an email address to contact customer support. Thank you for letting me know you're recording the call because I'm recording it as well, STEVEN!"
     
  30. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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  31. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    months later and a search warrant will get served and the guy will have 40 different debit cards that will all be previously declined cards thus connecting him to all the burg's and poss. of unlawful ID's etc. So naturally, I ask him why he didn't throw them out and it's because they attempt to get a second bite at the apple after people sort out the bad charges. I'm not sure that makes complete sense because a new card will have at the very least a new expiration date and sec code number.
     
  32. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Yep. We talked to one woman that had them take a crack at the bank account again 2 1/2 years later! that's why we changed banks completely.
     
  33. Watasha

    Watasha Well-Known Member
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    We just bought a house. We’re replacing the carpet with wood flooring.

    Her: “hey what’s the square footage of our bedroom?”
    Me: “I just measured it and it’s 16x22”
    Her: “yeah but what’s the square footage”
    Me: “...”
    Her: “...”
    Me: “multi...”
    Her: “oh yeah I got it”
    Me: “you’re so pretty”
     
  34. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Overpacking is stupid. If you're not bringing casual wear you can fit a weeks worth of clothes in a well designed carry on. Was in Canada for 7 days and didn't need to check a bag. Its so much easier.
     
    #9134 Homo Erectus, Aug 27, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2019
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  35. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    Since last Wednesday I’ve been Vegas, LA, and tonight I head to Portland. All carry ons, and don’t get home till Friday. 1 dry cleaning and laundry service mid trip.
     
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  36. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    why? and how many purchases?
     
  37. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Dick move, IMO. Agents don't have anything to do with underwriting. :twocents:
     
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  38. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    Work, and zero purchases sans food. Was commenting on the packing without having to check baggage.
     
  39. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I may have referenced this before - but the Mrs. wants a (either Timor or Burnett's) wallaby and to move into a place with a yard etc.

    She now has scheduled a hearing with the fucking city of LA that I have to attend to justify our status as some form of certified wildlife expert.

    My inbox this AM: (important wallaby certification details). I'm definitely going to attempt to not let this come to fruition but if it does any of the LA members are welcome to support me at the Wallaby hearing.

    I'm not sure if I blame Yale or Florida more in this instance - it's almost a perfect combination of a shitshow.
     
    #9139 Eathan Edwards, Aug 29, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019
  40. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I got approved for a wallaby while at Ole Miss and was in commutation with the breeder in Dallas etc, so this isn't completely unprecedented - it's just not every day you wake up at 12am to an email needing to you to address wallaby logistics.
     
  41. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Secondarily - who was the poster that had to go to court due to his gf/wife feeding stray cats?

    That was probably my favorite TMB post ever and I couldn't find it when trying to show it the Mrs just now.
     
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  42. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    She has a Burnett's wallaby (Scarlett) she likes so I guess this is actually happening.

    So if Fidelio Daniel Ocean etc want to attend my hearing with the California department of fish and wildlife- this is going to occur apparently.
     
    #9142 Eathan Edwards, Aug 29, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019
  43. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    Okay Sterling E
     
  44. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Is there a land/property amount requirement?
     
  45. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    I hope you address the council like the two chads they show videos of. “word up City Council!”
     
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  46. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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  47. Fidelio

    Fidelio Well-Known Member
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    I’ll come dressed as the Joker
     
  48. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  49. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
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    It's like Eathan's Modern Life in here.

    [​IMG]
     
  50. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    Dibs on Harley Quinn
     
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