Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    Are you going to share it with us?
     
  2. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Menelaus, Keef, bertwing and 28 others like this.
  3. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    My fiancee is in the field and does pretty well
     
  4. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    She met a French couple that are friends of friends of ours. She invited them to hang out with us sometime before they leave. We are sitting here just now watching football and she just blurts out "do you think they think we're swingers".

    "Uh...what?"

    "Well they're French and I know French people are weird. I invited them over and I don't know how they took that."

    I havent been able to stop laughing since and I think she's getting annoyed by how much I'm enjoying this.
     
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  5. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Enjoy the orgy. Dont cross the streams and avoid eye contact
     
  6. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    You absolutely should have leaned into it and said yes. She would have spent hours agonizing over how to either cancel the plans or politely decline an orgy as soon as they walk in the door.
     
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  7. tjsblue

    tjsblue I was right at the time
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    You sure she’d decline? It’s obviously on her mind...:warn:
     
  8. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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  9. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    My thoughts as well. She was throwing it out to see how you would react.
     
  10. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    Pregnancy brain is real.

    Her: the oven is not cooking these very well.
    Me: let me take a look in a minute
    Her: nevermind, I fixed it.
    Me: what was it?
    Her: nothing
    Me: no really what was it?
    Her: I don't want to say
    Me: you put it in the wrong oven didn't you
    Her: shutup

    We have a double oven and I have done this too but she doesn't know that
     
  11. TimJimothy

    TimJimothy Well-Known Member
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    We get it, you're rich and have a double oven. Congrats.
     
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  12. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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  13. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    Holy. Shit.
     
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  14. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    When I bought the new house it came with double ovens. Had planned on replacing them. Now I'm not sure how you single oven heathens can live with yourselves.
     
    #9314 Imurhuckleberry, Sep 16, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2019
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  15. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Until just now I never knew a double oven was a thing you could have. Apparently I'm pretty poor.

    Sounds pretty sweet though.
     
  16. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    got the oven/microwave convection oven combo. can't wait for the kitchen in my house to be ready.
     
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  17. Struggler

    Struggler Well-Known Member
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    The path to hairy asshole picks. Never change TMB.
     
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  18. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Wasn't anything mind blowing - just about this girl she used to date that had IBS.
     
  19. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    I thought the Jewish would cringe at the thought of a double oven.
     
  20. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    They are the main users of them because they can’t cook certain things together to stay kosher.
     
  21. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    one might say you have a triple oven and a bun is in one
     
  22. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    what's he look like? congrats on now knowing your wife has thought about what it would be like to take his penis

     
  23. Bo Pelinis

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    I do everything in strange increments. 29 seconds. 41 seconds. 53 seconds. Just because.
     
  24. Bo Pelinis

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    Wife has her clock set 8 or 9 minutes fast or something similar in her vehicle because she lives her life 15 minutes late. A week or so ago we got to something early like I always want.

    Looks at me angry.

    "What time is it?"
    "10:38"
    "We're 7 minutes early?! I could have gotten other stuff done. I hate being early."
    ":deerstandnotkneel:"
     
  25. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    My wife has hers 7 minutes early. I’ve never understood the reasoning as much as she’s tried to explain it. I just don’t comprehend.
     
  26. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    I do 11, 22, 33, 44 etc because I am either too lazy to move my finger to another button, insanely efficient with my efforts or on the spectrum. Not sure which, maybe a little of each.
     
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  27. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    I actually love this idea. Heard it a few years ago. 80% of the combined income goes into a shared pot and 10% into each fun fund

    Now everyone tell me why it's dumb
     
    dump, Crepeswithasmile and THF like this.
  28. lfriend

    lfriend Well-Known Member
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    Ugh yes this is me. I never focus harder at any point in my life more than when I try to mentally process what time to set the Microwave down to an exact count of seconds. I have no fucking idea why I do it.
     
  29. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    I think it’s a good idea for couples who may get annoyed at the other’s spending habit. It’s annoying to track IMO.
     
  30. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    Doesn't seem that hard.

    Direct deposit into the same account. We make X per month combined after tax. I set up automatic transfer for 5% of X each month to both accounts every two weeks
     
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  31. AaronCE

    AaronCE Swoll Member

    Direct deposit can often be set up with percentages as well. X% to A account and Y% to B account.
     
  32. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Didn’t say it was hard, it’s easy to set up. It’s annoying to track purchases and separate pools of money, at least it was for me. Wife and I did this for a bit but I eventually stopped it since everything is commingled. And we don’t nag each other about stuff we buy.
     
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  33. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    Mine goes into three different ones, makes managing everything way easier.
     
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  34. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    For those wondering, one is for bills, one is for other spending and the third is for all of my porn website subscriptions.
     
  35. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    My wedding is in a couple weeks. She wants to just send 100% to my checking account. I told her about this idea and she literally said “but I just use my credit card when I need something. I am bad at math so I am not sure what 10% will be”.

    God bless her as she isn’t really that bad at spending but I can imagine this is going to be a work in progress.
     
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  36. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    Buy her a prepaid card every month
     
  37. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    10 years of marriage and we maintain separate checking accounts AMA
     
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  38. Doug

    Doug Skeptical Doug-o
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    Team 4 bank accounts - joint/bills, my fun spending, her fun spending, daughters spending.
     
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  39. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    do y'all not use budgeting software? big reason why having multiple accounts was superfluous to me is I use YNAB.
     
    Lifeiskilingme79 likes this.
  40. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Us too. She pays some bills, I pay others, and nobody cares or inquires about the rest. Although we did open a marcus account to consolidate cash for a house down payment.
     
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  41. LA window washer

    LA window washer Well-Known Member
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    Gonna need more details on this prior relationship, for reasons.
     
  42. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    to be overly general, modern jewish people trying to live kosher to this level is one of the more mind bottling things to me. Like I get that poor southerners like their jesus and all so follow some old customs. But most of my jewish friends are highly educated rational people who bend towards atheism but for some reason they still do this kosher thing. Any hebrews in here feel like shining a lil light?
     
  43. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    It’s a good idea to have multiple accounts in the event one is compromised and you need to freeze it.
     
  44. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    i feel like we can skip the ibs part though. more hot stripper sex. less ibs is a rule i try to live by.
     
  45. Russellin4885

    Russellin4885 Well-Known Member
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    Was reading this comment thinking to myself, hey, that's how my wife and me do it. Was also thinking how it seems to work pretty well, when at that exact moment I get a gmail notification of apple airpods being ordered. Some background info is just yesterday she asked if she could borrow mine for a while so she could listen to training videos at work with them, no big deal, I don't hardly use them. Apparently she couldn't find them last night though so of course it makes sense to just order another pair...
     
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  46. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    We have the $100 rule where there is at the very least a text message communication about the purchase prior to buying. That works for the most part.
     
  47. Anison

    Anison Fair and square
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    Jew-adjacent here; my wife’s Jewish and I’m an active member of our synagogue. It depends almost entirely on where you fall in the spectrum from (least to most strict) reform, conservative or orthodox. To your point, many college-educated Jews - especially who started reform or conservative - wind up agnostics and not strict adherents to things like keeping kosher.
     
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  48. Bo Pelinis

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    Not Jewish but there can be comfort in old rhythms even if you no longer believe.
     
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  49. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    i mean, i get that. I still celebrate xmas with the fam. I'm just more confused be Kosher seems an extremely limiting and out of date life strategy. It just strikes me as odd to continue on with something that dramatic after dropping yaweh.
     
  50. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Yep. it's why I don't mind going to church every now and then.