The Thread about Teaching and the Dumbasses We Teach

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by audrew, Aug 9, 2010.

  1. Biship

    Biship Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSporting Kansas City

    You’re welcome

     
    tjsblue, Luka, bigred77 and 1 other person like this.
  2. Biship

    Biship Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSporting Kansas City


    You are better
     
  3. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    Donor TMB OG
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsNew Jersey DevilsNew York Red BullsLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    I know. I was being a bit facetious. I realize that I was catching/correcting a lot more kids over the first few weeks especially and I know have a better reputation (at least with the freshmen) than I did last year.
     
    Cuckbo Fisher, pearl and Biship like this.
  4. London Humphreys

    London Humphreys The next Julian Edelman, obviously.
    Donor
    Georgia BulldogsAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedLiverpoolFormula 1

    Have you successfully fought the urge to type "in my honest vagina"?
     
    THF, Luka, shawnoc and 1 other person like this.
  5. GrizzliesDrew

    GrizzliesDrew Fuck Freeze
    Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersMemphis Grizzlies

    I’ve written “Bruh” a few times after grading a ridiculous answer
     
  6. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    It was homecoming week this past week. Kids interpreted the principal's words of "Friday is a chill day" as "Friday, we have a free day and don't have to do any work" Those poor souls when they walked into my classroom yesterday.
     
  7. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Students had to write about their experiences off campus for a reflection this week. I enjoyed this line:

    "Something that I really liked off campus was I went to a really fun mini golfing place. Other places I have been to include the hospital and Krispy Kreme."
     
  8. whiteboy

    whiteboy Big Volleyball Guy
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksTexas RangersDallas MavericksSneakers

    Started in on bones today in Anatomy and when we got to the hands, a girl asked if anyone had heard of that thing where you grab our own thumb and snap you wrist and it can break your thumb. I had just finished saying how I had never heard that and was skeptical about that being a thing and this other girl in the back of class tries it and I hear a pop all the way across the room. Sounded like she was popping her knuckle only louder. She immediately went from laughing to crying.

    Was telling another teacher after school who used to be a field medic in the navy and he said it was most likely just dislocated from squeezing too hard but she should be fine.

    A quick google search just now shows this is what they were talking about. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/how-to-break-your-thumb-ligament
     
  9. Capt Wigs

    Capt Wigs Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Tulsa Golden HurricaneOklahoma City ThunderOklahoma SoonersAvengersUnited States Men's National Soccer Team2pacBig 8 Conference

    My thumb used to do this on its own. Broke my thumb down by the wrist and when I got my cast off I couldn't do it any more.
     
  10. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Some of y'all haven't watched Lethal Weapon and it shows
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  11. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    3 day weekend for us. What about you guys?
     
    Luka, shawnoc and bigred77 like this.
  12. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    One of my students gave me a heads up that a picture of my 9 weeks exam was going around.

    - Proceed to give said student substantial bump on their exam grade. (Snitches get rewards in my class)
    - Made a 2nd version of the test to give to my B-day students
    - After they bomb the test, I told them I changed the answers key for the test


    students who tried to cheat “On god Mr. Pearl, why you change the test? You an OP!
    me damn, that’s tough :laugh:
     
    941Gator, PAHokie, Luka and 2 others like this.
  13. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    Donor TMB OG
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsNew Jersey DevilsNew York Red BullsLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    Happy Indigenous Peoples Day weekend!
     
  14. GrizzliesDrew

    GrizzliesDrew Fuck Freeze
    Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersMemphis Grizzlies

    They did the same with my tests. I give them online now. Randomizes order of questions, randomizes multiple choice options, and I can even create a pool of extra questions that the computer will randomly choose questions from, so some students won’t even be asked the same questions.
     
    Luka, whiteboy and pearl like this.
  15. gilstein21

    gilstein21 Tight Rip 26 Seal Right
    Donor
    Auburn TigersSt. Louis CardinalsGreen Bay PackersWyoming Cowboys

    I like making my second version look identical. Lots of graphs or diagrams are on my tests so they look the same at a glance. But every question that has increase in the question gets changed to decrease, or I just move the correct answer to a different choice. Always nice to see the cheaters body language when they score so differently then the person they cheated from. I always like when they call me over to point out that I marked one wrong for them, but not the person next to them. “Try reading the question next time.”
     
    pearl, Luka and whiteboy like this.
  16. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    All I did was shift the answers one letter. Damn near screwed everyone who didn’t study. Even found a cheat sheet at the back of my class last block with the answers from the older version of the test. Student that was closest to it made a 36.
     
    gilstein21 likes this.
  17. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksChicago CubsAvengersBarAndGrillSoutheastern Conference

    We had one teacher who put in the instructions if you put your name on the last page wait 20 minutes then you will get a 100. 2 people caught it while everyone else did the test.
     
  18. DuckKin

    DuckKin Well-Known Member

    Fucking hated those type of tests, but really taught me to read over instructions and create a plan before starting

    However, like myself, tests are a real anxiety for me (and millions of other people), and so many times I would just start the test to get it over with. Everything needs to have a lesson behind it, so I hope it wasn’t like my teachers who just seemed to do it to be cruel.
     
    tjsblue likes this.
  19. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

  20. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
    Donor
    ArsenalTiger WoodsSneakersDallas Mavericks altTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Had a professor give out 3 or 4 different versions of a test each time. But they were on different color paper. :facepalm:
     
    PAHokie likes this.
  21. Emma

    Emma
    Donor
    Wisconsin BadgersMilwaukee Brewers altMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay Packers

    MADISON, Wis. - After a black security assistant at Madison's West High School was fired Wednesdayfor using the N-word to ask a student to stop calling him by it, American singer and 'Goddess of Pop' Cher tweeted that she would incur expenses for anyone who sued Madison Metropolitan School District Education Board.

    MMSD has a zero tolerance policy for staff saying the racial slur, leading to Marion Anderson's termination. Anderson argues his case is different because he was asking a student to stop using the term.

    In response to a Tweet by reporter Madalyn O'Neill, Cher asked how people could be so disrespectful.



    Recent comments are in support of Cher's Tweet.

    Students and staff at West High School walked out of school Friday morning and marched to the district administration building two miles away to speak with district administrators about reinstating Anderson and reviewing the zero-tolerance policy.
     
    HuskerInMiami likes this.
  22. Emma

    Emma
    Donor
    Wisconsin BadgersMilwaukee Brewers altMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay Packers

    Great stuff over here

    [​IMG]

     
  23. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    ‘‘Twas parent teacher conference day today.
     
  24. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

  25. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

  26. Emma

    Emma
    Donor
    Wisconsin BadgersMilwaukee Brewers altMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay Packers

    Full day PD days are the worst
     
  27. Emma

    Emma
    Donor
    Wisconsin BadgersMilwaukee Brewers altMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay Packers

    3 and a half hours of DPI compliance jargon where the instructors can't deviate from PowerPoints and are reading verbatim

    Kill me
     
  28. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
    Donor
    Portland Trail BlazersGreen Bay PackersOregon State Beavers alt

    we are going through 4 hours every quarter about equity in education and it’s quite the trip
     
    Emma and Luka like this.
  29. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    Things I support as a teacher

     
    HuskerInMiami, Luka, bigred77 and 2 others like this.
  30. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesWu-tang

    wore a suit the other day

    “MR. LARRY YOU GOT COURT TODAY?”
     
  31. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

  32. GrizzliesDrew

    GrizzliesDrew Fuck Freeze
    Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersMemphis Grizzlies

    Ok, this is pretty cool. The girl hosting in this web video was a student of mine my first year teaching.

    Came to New York as an intern on Last Week Tonight, got into NY Improv, now working at Radio.com

     
    #1932 GrizzliesDrew, Nov 12, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2019
  33. GrizzliesDrew

    GrizzliesDrew Fuck Freeze
    Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersMemphis Grizzlies

    Major project due tomorrow in my classes. A girl just emailed me 10 min ago asking if she can turn it in on Thursday because she was absent on Monday. The project was assigned October 11th
     
  34. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    Political Cartoon project due Wednesday and Thursday. Looking forward to seeing their art skills
     
    TC and bigred77 like this.
  35. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Take your guitar to class day for me :rockin:
     
    gopack2104 and ashy larry like this.
  36. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    Come to school and get work today for me
     
  37. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesWu-tang

    how many dave covers were you blessed with
     
    JeremyLambsFace, TC and bigred77 like this.
  38. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Oh they weren't allowed to play. It was me and a couple of my friends walking them through the hits of the 70s and 90s. An exercise in self aggrandizement, which is why we all do this right?
     
    shawnoc, gopack2104 and ashy larry like this.
  39. whiteboy

    whiteboy Big Volleyball Guy
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksTexas RangersDallas MavericksSneakers

    Gave an assignment this week asking them to plan out a road trip. Had to be at least 800 miles away. Tell me where/how often you'll need to stop for gas/food/rest etc. and the estimated cost. Told them it could be one main destination or they could visit a few different major cities if they needed to add some distance. One butthead said he was going to make the round trip from here to Dallas 8 times, stopping for gas and food at the Bucee's in Terrell each time.
     
  40. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Bucees is a smart choice
     
  41. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesWu-tang

    you do U101 right?
     
    Hatfield and TC like this.
  42. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    Was just informed that one of co-workers passed away in a car accident last night. A day after another co-worker car was totaled in another accident
     
  43. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I like this kid
     
    Biship and JeremyLambsFace like this.
  44. gilstein21

    gilstein21 Tight Rip 26 Seal Right
    Donor
    Auburn TigersSt. Louis CardinalsGreen Bay PackersWyoming Cowboys

    I was selected as teacher of the year at my school. Now I must write 7 essays
     
  45. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    Show off
     
  46. gilstein21

    gilstein21 Tight Rip 26 Seal Right
    Donor
    Auburn TigersSt. Louis CardinalsGreen Bay PackersWyoming Cowboys

    17 years, Bout damn time right
     
  47. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

  48. gilstein21

    gilstein21 Tight Rip 26 Seal Right
    Donor
    Auburn TigersSt. Louis CardinalsGreen Bay PackersWyoming Cowboys

    Thanks. I was surprised when I saw my name on the final ballot.
     
  49. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    Donor TMB OG
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsNew Jersey DevilsNew York Red BullsLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    Anyone else have to browbeat your ops department into paying their bills?

    We almost missed out on a deadline for a conference because of a bill that wasn’t paid from Sept. 2018.
     
  50. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    This is a first I’ve heard of such a situation