No. In that situation I’d rather vomit on the floor and ask for a mop. Much cleaner than your preferred alternative.
Still dating this girl and yesterday I learned she sets a yearly alert on her phone so that she can remind me of this day and we celebrate by getting pizza.
I shit my pants last week. I had a bunch of laundry so I decided to use the bigger pay machines in my apartment complex. I walked out the door and felt this weird strain in my stomach. Figured I’d fight through. Put my laundry in the washer and before I could even start putting the coins in I ran back to my apartment. Early exits were made and some remnants plopped onto the bathroom floor took a quick shower and changed and went back down the hall to start my laundry before coming back to clean the shit mess
Every man in a serious relationship that might become even more seriouser should shit his pants while out with the girlfriend. Crucial in figuring out if she is the right one. A good wife will handle not only your metaphorical shit but also your literal shit.
It would have to be a super rare circumstance to suddenly become so violently ill without warning that you are almost immediately puke shitting. It's hard to envision a time where you wouldn't have time to find a private bathroom with a puke receptacle.
Welp, just got in my last pants shittng of the year. Been driving all day, definitely dehydrated. Was about to hop in the shower, felt a deuce coming on. Let one rip while scrolling TMB, and it is a disaster. Leaving this concentrated evil in 2019. Spoiler: shitty drawers
This doesn't fit the theme of the thread, but I figured I'd post it here anyway. I was cleaning out my email and stumbled upon this email I got from an acquaintance... He sent it to Mike (team leader) and a few others...I still can't fathom why he sent it: DEAR MIKE, I have been horribly depressed and violently ill stomachaches and stomach cramps and uncontrollable shits dehydrated im messing my self 8 times a day, i have no control of My bowels at all! I've been in the hospital for 5 weeks, im so tired and weak and Cant get out of bed! The IBS and chrons and so much pain!
Really hope we can be better in 2020 and post more evidence in this thread a la Tiffin . Thanks in advance.
Just heard a story and this thread seemed like the best place for it. I work for a large company and thankfully have not shit myself at work thus far. Apparently a man came to drop his wife off for an interview here yesterday. He asked our security if he could use the restrooms but since he wasn’t registered as a visitor he was denied. I guess he really had to go bc he then proceeded to take a shit outside on our sidewalk right out front. Needless to say his wife did not get to finish her interview and was asked to leave.
Yeah I mean when you ask if you can use the bathroom it's not really asking for permission as much as asking where it is. I don't fault the guy at all for dropping a spite deuce just for the principle of it.
So I’m in the confines of my home tonight. Nice dinner, no bowel pressure. I have noticed that over the last week a silent fart is impossible but shits are normal. I’m in the shower about 3/4 done when all of sudden I feel some pressure. I thought let’s just let this fart slip out and be done with it. Nope, felt mush between the cheeks so I tightened up to prevent shitting myself in the shower. Rinse off, do a quick dry off and hop on the toilet. After the first wipe I was like ya I need to hop back in shower and clean this matted mess if shit between my cheeks. Turn water back on and get ready to clean my ass and I look down and there’s a nice clump of shit on the shower floor. Apparently stepping out of the shower left enough of an opening from my clinched cheeks to offer a squirt. Luckily no other shit made the floor during my journey, but yes, I’ve officially shit myself in the shower. Where’s my merit badge?
Sounds like he got his rocks off. He probably felt great and then just lied about what happened to his wife
I once crawled through the transom window above the door of a Pasadena gas station bathroom to leave a messy spite shit in it after the attendant told me I couldn't use it
Sounds like a lot of work. Also sounds like an easy way to shit yourself halfway through a transom window.
Desperation is an effective motivator On location for Beethoven. I got the driver of our crew cab to back his truck up to the door so I wouldn't have to use the doorknob to climb up
I didn't post itt last time I sharted, but it was many times because I had, I guess, food poisoning. Had diarrhea for a few hours and began to feel nauseous. The first and second time I threw up I also shit my pants because of the pressure. After that I had to vomit into a bucket I was holding while sitting on the toilet which was awful. I haven't had food poisoning like that ever before, thankfully it lasted just one evening.
The annoying thing is I've no idea what the source was. My wife and I basically are the same things 24 hours before.
I thought I had food poisoning as well with the post I bumped this thread with but apparently a few other people around that time had the same thing and it was just a really nasty norovirus that was going around. Have never been that dehydrated from an illness before.
That’s the bitch with those things. You’re dehydrated so you drink water but your body has rearranged your bowels so that your esophagus is now somehow attached directly to your anus. The more you drink, the more you pee from your bhole. It’s a vicious/frustrating cycle with that.
had the opposite problem. No matter how small the sips I was puking within ten minutes of drinking whatever it was. Water, sprite, Gatorade, all right back up the hatch.
Had a tree root fuck up my plumbing so have to use single ply for the foreseeable future. It's fucking miserable, what kind of monster would willingly use this shit.