I just shit my pants at work.**Now with fart stimulation**

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Hoss Bonaventure, Jul 8, 2015.

  1. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Ya could just buy some wipes or tp
     
  2. Room 15

    Room 15 Mi equipo esta Los Tigres
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    yea just wipe with good stuff and throw it away. Latin America survives this way.

    Fuck Single ply.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  3. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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  4. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    a true hero
     
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  5. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    Use good stuff and buy a diaper genie thing for diapers. Idk how it holds the smell in but it does. Awful when you open it up though.
     
  6. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Get a bidet
     
  7. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    It took me way too long to understand this and I'm just gonna chalk it up to still being groggy. All I kept wondering was how a tree root got in your intestines and why that would mean you had to use one ply.
     
    shaolin5, One Two, fetumpsh and 4 others like this.
  8. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
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    [​IMG]
     
  9. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Have you tried septic system treatment with root killer stuff?
     
  10. Tommy Callahan

    Tommy Callahan Well-Known Member
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    It turned the normal 2 and some change drive from Huntsville to Tuscaloosa into 5 for me this pst summer
     
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  11. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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  12. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    bigred77 and BWC like this.
  13. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    Welcome to the club... not the club he's accustomed to
     
  14. Sir Phobos

    Sir Phobos Knight of Mars, Beater of Ass.
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    Celtics fans rolling out the brown carpet for Rocket fans tonight.
     
    #1014 Sir Phobos, Mar 1, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
  15. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    I just pooped myself on a run. Bubble gut started at about the two mile mark and I couldn’t hold it all in. A little gas relief turned into a burst of shit in the compression shorts. The 20 minute walk back to my house was interesting. Posting from the shitter as we speak. This shower is going to be glorious.
     
  16. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    First time shitting on a run?
     
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  17. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    I've had a few posts in this thread and I believe 100% of them were when I was out running. Unless you're a crazy person who is able to get up and go on a run without eating or drinking anything but water it's a risk you're taking. I only run now on a track that has bathrooms or a route where I pass near my house a couple of times.
     
  18. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    you say this like it’s normal to shit on a run. It is not.
     
  19. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    First thing that "pooped" into my head.

    bro What is your diet? Curry and Mexican?
     
  20. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Horses do it all the time
     
  21. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    are you saying bro has an ass like a horse???
     
  22. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    I bought one recently (bidet attachment). It’s awesome.
     
  23. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    I'm not about to perpetuate the myth that he's hung like one
     
  24. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    well I don’t have an ass like a horse so
     
    bturns likes this.
  25. ScFan27

    ScFan27 Well-Known Member
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    I guess I am a crazy person because I prefer to have nothing in my stomach when I run. So either right after I wake up or around 5pm when I haven’t eaten for 3-4 hours. But hey never shit myself so that’s nice.
     
    tjsblue, Bo Pelinis, One Two and 3 others like this.
  26. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    Yeah 5pm after I've had a couple of meals in me usually was less risky, but my schedule doesn't allow for that right now, I was able to before we had our kid. I've tried a couple of times and it's so much harder for me to run if I don't have breakfast.
     
    One Two likes this.
  27. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    I always have to take a massive shit after a workout or run. It’s like the motion just shakes the shit loose from inside my guts.
     
    tjsblue, Tiffin, Ric Flair and 4 others like this.
  28. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    Get up use the bathroom eat a banana. There (unless you’re doing more than 5) that should be good. Take a gel pack. Come on guys no reason you should be shitting yourselves on runs ever. We aren’t running ultra marathons.
     
    Ty Webb and Room 15 like this.
  29. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    I should mention that I've been on an anti-depressant for a long time and thus I've never really been constipated since I was a teenager.
     
    Daniel Ocean likes this.
  30. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    I’ll shit in some shrubs. No fucks given
     
  31. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    Well you’re one link removed from a Neanderthal.
     
  32. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    True
     
    Nandor the Relentless likes this.
  33. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  34. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    I've never shit on a run. But I have heard from many distance runners that it is just inevitable, especially if you run right when you wake up.
     
  35. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    :lick:
     
  36. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    look at this guy who can take a shit on command!
     
  37. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    I have a ritual for long runs especially race days.
     
    40wwttamgib likes this.
  38. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Ur welcome
     
  39. THEBLUERAIDER

    THEBLUERAIDER Well-Known Member
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    I run without eating all the time. Even my long runs, I’ll eat an energy chew at most.
     
  40. Bo Pelinis

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    Running on an empty stomach is the only way to run. Unless you want to shit yourself I guess.
     
    Goose, THEBLUERAIDER and Room 15 like this.
  41. southside

    southside Well-Known Member
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    Had to run off the trail with explosive poop the other day. Was jogging so already sweating then it quickly turned to cold sweats. That’s never a good feeling.
     
  42. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    This man knows our pain.
     
  43. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    Tell us about the poop

    Where'd ya do it
     
  44. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    If it’s not in the pants it’s the wrong thread.
     
  45. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    Tough, but fair
     
    40wwttamgib and bigred77 like this.
  46. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    It just happened. Went to eek out a fart and felt some dribble. Luckily I’ve been working from home since March and all I had to do was waddle across the hall to the bedroom.
     
    undrtow, bertwing, southside and 13 others like this.
  47. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
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    Never trust a fart.
     
  48. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    Added to the list, along with the French.
     
    40wwttamgib likes this.
  49. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
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    good man.
     
  50. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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