Figured this was best thread to put this mini rant since its 4th of July time. My wife and I have decided to cancel our 4th of July trip to our family cottage because my older sister. My sister has basically been dependent on my parents her whole life. My mom and her have a co dependent relationship and they never hold her accountable for anything. She also has ADD and the combination of never having repercussions for her actions and the ADD have made her turn into a very selfish and unaware person. My mom has MS and has been in rough shape lately. My dad has his own health problems, but refuses to go to a doctor so we aren't sure what it is. But my sister is out here now since our restrictions were lifted going to boat parties with friends, out to dinner with my BIL (who is a story for another day) and is taking the kids on play dates and cutting people's hair out of her house. She admittedly isn't wearing a mask most the time because "she forgets" while she is doing these things. She is very liberal so it isn't a statement, she just cant be asked to follow through on anything because she can just blame her ADD for her lack of doing it. And then she drops her 3 kids off at my parents, who both have health issues, all the time. The kids trash my parents house, exhaust them out, expose them to who knows where the kids were that day and if they had a mask on and then leaves without cleaning up their shit. My younger sister complained to my mom about my older sister's lack of social distancing and reservations about sharing a cabin with her up north for the 4th and my mom basically said we arent allowed to complain about it. My mom thinks we are all too hard on her, and is basically co dependent so doesn't listen to anything negative we say about her. My wife is 6 months pregnant, so we decided its not worth it and will be spending the 4th of July in our house this year. Assuming covid is still a thing in October, am I out of line telling my sister she can't visit us and the baby because her lack of social distancing? My wife and I have basically already decided we aren't going to see them before the baby is born because her doctor is worried about some potential effects on the baby if my wife was to get covid.
not out of line at all, IMO - protect your family first, and if the others want to see you that badly, they’ll get their shit together
You're not out of line at all. Went through this and still going through it. Basically your pedetrician will tell you can have a small inner circle that can come in contact with your baby if you feel comfotable with them. You have to trust them and trust they're practicing social distancing/taking every precaution, been tested etc. If not, too bad. This is nothing to trifle with. Especialy the first two months with the lack of / developing immune system. Buckle up! It's a fun ride.
Nope. We have some close friends who had their first kid at the beginning of April and we still haven’t seen him. They have let exactly one person - her mother - into their house since he was born and that was after she quarantined herself for two weeks and was tested. Not worth taking chances
Not out of line at all. I think you can explain, like others have suggested, that you are being very cautious out of concern for the well-being of your wife and future child. I’m in a similar boat, my cousin I’m close with is having a kid in August and my family has accepted that we probably won’t get to see the kid until 2021.
Who the hell gets coddled for being ADD? Get medicated. It isn’t hard to get a prescription for adderall. You’re not out of line for not wanting her around your kid during a pandemic, or really ever.
You've got the pregnancy excuse which is something you can fall back on. I'm assuming if your wife wasn't pregnant, but you still didn't want to catch anything, your sister would have an absolute meltdown.
They are married, thats why he is my brother in law. I meant its another story because he is a lazy dude who'll let everyone else around him work while he does shit My mom was a stay at home mom so I think it gives her a sense of worth to still have to look after her. That's why I called their relationship codependent. My dad has straight up admitted to me he failed raising my sister, and I think his thing now is he doesn't want to let my sister screw over herself and have it negatively effect her kids
Sounds like my SiL. They went on a trip to the beach Father's Day Weekend. This trip exhausted her so much she dropped her daughter at my parents on the 23rd. Then she started feeling sick. So Friday she went for a Covid test. My niece is still at my parents house for "safety" reasons as we wait on results. Luckily I think she is just lazy and selfish and not actually infected. If she is infected and her daughter gets my parents infected it will destroy the little relationship I have with her.
Maybe it's because my mom isn't in great health and my dad didn't do enough child rearing to be able to handle watching my daughter overnight, but I can't imagine just dumping my kids off on my parents because I need a "break" after a vacation.
My parents can't handle taking care of my 2.5 year old. But my SiL has no problem dropping my 7 year old niece off for a week.
Wow, yeah I could maybe get my parents to watch my kid for a couple of nights if she was 7, a week is awful and very selfish unless you set that up a month in advance.
fuck all of that. expecting fathers are being locked out of all doctor's visits up until delivery because of corona. Your selfish as fuck sister can 100% be banished without a second thought.
My dumbass sister took my niece and nephews to Mackinac Island on the way home from the family cottage. Posted a bunch of pictures on Facebook and none of them had masks on. Definitely not seeing them until after baby is born. For those unaware, Mackinac Island is tourist island where no cars are allowed, you need to take a ferry to get there and its full of a bunch of small touristy shops.
I wouldn’t let them near your kid for the foreseeable future. I posted in another thread about my dumbass brother in law over the 4th having to go to the fucking ER because he’s a fucking idiot. So I didn’t want him back here but my wife insisted because we’ve had family here 4/6 weeks since my son was born against all of my objections because my wife threatens to take the baby. So he gets to come back and that stay another 4 days. I threw in the towel and said anything that her, our son, or myself get is on her to which I was told I was an asshole. So now it’s just a waiting game to see if anything bad happens to any of us because of her post pardum
Not well. I guess she said something to my sister in law about it and she mentioned it when they came down so it didn’t go unnoticed as I’d had hoped.
Yeah but that's the MIL's problem. If I'm naked in my bed and someone barges in its a them problem unless there's a fire.