Lawyer thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Jax Teller, Apr 8, 2015.

  1. Fudd

    Fudd I bring terror like Stephen King
    Donor

    Got into my first school today. It will be between this school and one other for Fall '20. Feels good just being sure you're in somewhere.
     
  2. Ray McKigney

    Ray McKigney Feel my ubiquity
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    Congrats man. Just know that there’s still plenty of time to choose another career path making more money and doing less difficult work.
     
  3. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Barbri
     
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  4. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
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    My private detective told me today that he was doing work for a husband in a high asset divorce a few years back. Real hot blond 35 year old wife was accusing the husband of adultery. She also accused him of running over her with his car on purpose and brought a personal injury claim. She had a birthday party at a bar and they guessed some shenanigans would be going down so the husband told detective to go film her at the party. Detective sets up and saw her suck multiple guys dicks in the parking lot of this bar where the party was at. Then the wife's lawyer (prominent local lawyer)showed up with his wife. The wife from the divorce ends up hooking up with her own lawyer in the parking lot and sucked his dick as well. Then she comes over to the vehicle that the detective is in and wipes the "pearl jam" off her face and cleans up her makeup using his car windows as a mirror. He said he has some kind of blacked out mirrors and was under some kind of light so she had no clue he was in the vehicle. He was filming the whole time. Also he said she got up on the stage and was grinding and only thing missing was a stripper pole. There went the personal injury lawsuit. So husband's lawyer calls the wife's lawyer and says I've got something you need to see. Wife's lawyer says I'm busy. Husband's lawyer says no you need to come see this. Shortly after viewing it , wife's lawyer got wife to drop all of her allegations and the case settled. Story is so crazy it sounds made up , but this is a well respected private detective that I'm pretty sure used to be in the FBI or some sort of law enforcement and has been doing this for 40 years so I believe him.
     
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  5. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    South Carolina Gamecocks

    My guess is that's one of his fishing stories.
     
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  6. Gallant Knight

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    Nah she sucked like six dudes dicks in the parking lot at her birthday party
     
  7. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Sounds like my kind of party
     
  8. Gallant Knight

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    Sort of what I thought college would be like watching porn as a junior in high school
     
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  9. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    South Carolina Gamecocks

    My thoughts too, but I've seen enough to not put too much past a disaffected spouse. Sexually frustrated people will make some absolutely horrible life decisions if you give them the opportunity.
     
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  10. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Florida Gators

    She's like my spirit animal!
     
  11. Fudd

    Fudd I bring terror like Stephen King
    Donor

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Bricktop the white

    Bricktop the white Well-Known Member


    I'm going straight into car sales if this lawyer thing flames out.
     
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  13. Craig Pettis

    Craig Pettis Que será será motherfucker
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    what stuff, their bar prep courses? Unless it’s drastically changed in the last few years they don’t just let people stroll up into their classes
     
  14. Bricktop the white

    Bricktop the white Well-Known Member

    Great money for freelance highly credentialed law professors who are experts in the field.
     
  15. Gallant Knight

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    Have I told the story in here about hooking up with one of my law school professors
     
  16. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    He’s a film maker. He’s talking about getting the gigs to film them.
     
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  17. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    What was his name?


    SWISH!
     
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  18. Fudd

    Fudd I bring terror like Stephen King
    Donor

    Ok accepted to the other school this morning.

    I’m done attention whoring in here but only because those were the only 2 schools I applied to. Stay tuned for me complaining about law school tings that you don’t care about.
     
  19. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    Congrats
     
  20. CoastalOrange

    CoastalOrange Well-Known Member
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    Reviewed a 35 page T&Cs last week for an internal client. Highlighted and made comments on the PDF. Apparently decided not to save it and at some point closed out of Adobe. Really excited about my idiocy right now.
     
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  21. herb.burdette

    herb.burdette Meet me at the corner of 8th and Worthington
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    Ohio State Buckeyes

    This company has expanded to airline refunds and cancellation disputes. They are now break even on profit and just raised $12 in a new round of financing.

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/igorbo...r-raises-12-million-in-series-a/#4a07bdf93309
     
  22. Craig Pettis

    Craig Pettis Que será será motherfucker
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    ahh. Makes more sense. I’m surprised they don’t just set up a tripod and film themselves.

    I was having a lot more fun imagining somebody trying to pirate Barbri classes
     
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  23. Ray McKigney

    Ray McKigney Feel my ubiquity
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    Putting my 2 weeks in today fellas. Leaving big law for the public sector. Not looking forward to the salary hit, but luckily my wife, who is also an attorney, is taking a job in house that has a substantial increase in salary so we aren’t really taking a too much of a hit.

    I am really looking forward to it.
     
  24. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Florida Gators

    What kind of public sector gig?
     
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  25. Ray McKigney

    Ray McKigney Feel my ubiquity
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    Not that anyone in here knows me or remotely cares who I am, but I don’t really want to say, tbh, as it probably would be pretty easy to track me down if I put that out there.
     
  26. Ray McKigney

    Ray McKigney Feel my ubiquity
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    That sounded more cryptic and self important than I intended
     
  27. Nelson

    Nelson Can somebody please get Ja Rhule on the phone
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    congrats man. I think all of us doing the big firm gig dream of that day in some capacity or another. Godspeed
     
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  28. Ray McKigney

    Ray McKigney Feel my ubiquity
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    Appreciate it. Hopefully I can do some good and try to fill the void in my soul that exists, in part, from representing the interests behemoth bloodsucking corporations for the past 10 years of my life.
     
  29. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Florida Gators

    I wasn’t thinking you’d give the specific office. Was more curious about the general field. Regulatory? Environmental? Financial?
     
  30. herb.burdette

    herb.burdette Meet me at the corner of 8th and Worthington
    Donor
    Ohio State Buckeyes

    I would like the last four digits of his social security number and his mother’s maiden name.
     
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  31. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Florida Gators

    Not me. He’s a government employee now so he’s probably broke.
     
  32. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    Congrats. May we all similarly follow in your footsteps one day.
     
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  33. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    Not feeling it today. That is all.
     
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  34. Ray McKigney

    Ray McKigney Feel my ubiquity
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    yeah I told my supervisor during my call to provide my notice that they would have my full attention to ease the transition, which I meant and ultimately will abide by. However, for today, my docking station subsequently malfunctioned, requiring me to work straight from the laptop, opened up some discovery and was like “nah, fuck all that.” Took a nap instead.
     
  35. Big Meech

    Big Meech I like turtles
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    Sounded like you were taking your big swinging dick to the porn industry. Congrats on the sex.
     
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  36. Ray McKigney

    Ray McKigney Feel my ubiquity
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    :blush:
     
  37. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    What do you all do when you are drafting a negotiated document, opposing counsel takes the first pass, and then sends it to you and it's absolute dogshit? I typically try to take a "light touch" when revising other attorneys' work while still protecting my client, but I just finished revising a document that has me scratching my head because I had to substantially revise pretty much every substantive section. I'm about to go back and remove as many of my changes as practical because when I send a redline it's going to look like blood was spilled on the document.

    I question whether it was drafted by a law clerk or a new paralegal. Among other things, it contains such mistakes as calling an LLC a "limited liability corporation," is governed by California law but lacks a signature for a spousal consent, randomly capitalizes important terms but leaves them undefined, and ambiguously obligates parties to undertake certain actions. Opposing counsel is a solo who has been doing this for 20+ years and his other work product is nothing like this.
     
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  38. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Don't hold back.
     
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  39. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I might say something mildly self-deprecating in the accompanying email like, "I apologize in advance for the number of edits. I tend to take a belt-and-suspenders approach."
     
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  40. Bo Pelinis

    Donor TMB OG
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    Sometimes if it's so bad that it's going to take a ton of my time I just offer to use a document I have on file if it accomplishes substantially the same thing.
     
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  41. herb.burdette

    herb.burdette Meet me at the corner of 8th and Worthington
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    Ohio State Buckeyes

    Tell him your client has a standard form they like to follow and that his changes are too significant.

    Incorporate any substantive changes he made, and send him a redline of your original.
     
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  42. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Florida Gators

    Or something like, “I apologize for all the red marks on the paper. It’s just the blood leaking from my eyeballs when I jammed the letter opener into my corneas in frustration at how poorly worded, thought out and planned your version was. I do commend your use of commas, however.”
     
  43. SmoochieWallace

    SmoochieWallace Ipse dixit
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    I’ve ran into a similar issue in the litigation context. My client is one of several defendants in a class action. The court ordered the defendants (all represented by different firms) to submit joint briefs. The lead defendant’s attorney (20+ partner at another national firm) took the first shot at drafting the motion to dismiss. It was jumbled, confusing mess. I ripped it down to the studs and rewrote the entire brief. I sent a pdf of the redlines and a clean Word version with a note that the redlines were going to be impossible to follow. Generally, I’ll defer to the drafter on stylistic choices, but where the work product is objectively bad, I have no qualms about redlining it to death. Ultimately, you’ve got to protect your client’s interests.
     
  44. Nelson

    Nelson Can somebody please get Ja Rhule on the phone
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    is opposing counsel a generalist solo practitioner, more of a litigator or does only transactional work?

    There are certainly revisions that are pedantic and create too much red—ex. do you really need that defined term for affiliates or would a court read in a satisfactory definition? But have to cover your client’s best interests. Mark that shit up, send it over and apologize for the mark but offer a call to discuss.
     
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  45. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    Opposing counsel only does transactional work.

    I've had a colleague look over my revisions, and he agreed they were all warranted and contained only the minimum necessary to protect our client and get the document to a good place.

    Will be sending a highly redlined document today (and maybe another). May or may not apologize in advance. He's a nice guy that gave in when I pushed this onto him over Fourth of July weekend, so I probably will.
     
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  46. JacobPalmer

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    If you know anything about child custody send DM. Couple quick questions.
     
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  47. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I am definitely stealing this.
     
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  48. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
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    I had to google belt and suspenders approach but then decided it was great and I needed to use it.
     
  49. Gallant Knight

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    V glad I don’t have to do any of that
     
  50. Gallant Knight

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    Also people,have 100% forgotten how to drive in Houston. Two BAD wrecks outside my office today