Vasectomy Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by CUAngler, Feb 24, 2021.

  1. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
    Donor TMB OG
    Clemson TigersAtlanta Braves

    Tell me stories of how bad this is going to be. I have mine schedule for tomorrow.
     
    kinghill likes this.
  2. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 FSU Seminoles 2020 National Champions
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Mine wasn't that bad took 10-15 minutes.

    My dad described it as think of your vas deferens as a guitar string and someone just tightens the string really fucking tight really fast. That's what it feels like.

    Afterwards, take it easy. Buy compression underwear to keep your balls in place. I took my dog on a walk the next day with regular boxer briefs on and paid for it later.
     
  3. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
    Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta United

    Should have scheduled it for the first couple days of March madness
     
  4. blind dog

    blind dog wps
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksGreen Bay PackersWu-tangCoors Light

    I had a no needle no scalpel vasectomy 10 years ago. They gave me valium before, did not hurt one bit (you do feel a tugging sensation). The no needle air thing they numb your balls with makes them swell up. So naturally afterward I took a pic and texted my friends. After they gave me a bottle of hydrocodone which I did not need but took anyway
     
  5. Randy Bobandi

    Randy Bobandi Well-Known Member
    Baltimore Ravens

    I’m shooting blanks and checking in. Took about a week to feel totally normal. Could be the doc had a small target to aim for.
     
  6. It'sAlwaysSunnyInAthens

    It'sAlwaysSunnyInAthens Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Have a buddy that had to get it twice. They cut the wrong wire the first time.
     
    Daniel Ocean and Hatfield like this.
  7. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Miami DolphinsChelseaMiami Heat

    What I will end up doing eventually
     
  8. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    that first nut after the procedure is a doozy
     
  9. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
    Donor
    California Golden Bears

    The marcaine didn't work on me, so I felt it from my toes to my shoulderblades
     
  10. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
    Donor TMB OG
    Clemson TigersAtlanta Braves

    i am concerned about not tinkering around the house and yard.

    We have a nanny for our two year old and I’m going to have to hide in the bedroom Thursday/Friday so I don’t have to ice my balls in front of her.
     
  11. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
    Donor TMB OG
    Clemson TigersAtlanta Braves

    I had it set up last year for March madness and then covid hit. Had a busy fall and this was my first chance and didn’t want to wait longer than I had to. I can’t do another kid.
     
    Hatfield likes this.
  12. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
    Staff Donor

  13. DUCKMOUTH

    DUCKMOUTH People don’t you know, don’t you know
    Donor
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesNew Orleans SaintsGrateful DeadPoker

    Took like 5 minutes and was nothing. Only regret I have was plying golf like a week later. Was sore as hell in my nut sack the next day
     
  14. LuPoor

    LuPoor Cuddle with the homies watching Stand By Me
    Donor
    Tulsa Golden HurricaneOklahoma City ThunderTottenham HotspurSeattle Kraken

    I felt a sharp tug and the urologist laughed "that one didn't want to go back in" at one point.

    It's not the most enjoyable 20 minutes (especially if you forget to fill your valium prescription), but recovery is cake. I felt completely normal again within a couple days, although i milked it for an entire week.
     
  15. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    My brother scheduled his like a week after his second kid and didn't tell his wife. Well she knew he went to a consultation or whatever but didn't know he actually scheduled one til the day of. She wasn't too thrilled cause I don't know that they fully discussed it.
     
  16. Butthead

    Butthead narmas, narmas

    Apparently it's a thing to schedule it so you can watch the ncaa tournament while recovering
     
  17. dukebuckeye

    dukebuckeye I’m OK with your low opinion of me.
    Donor TMB OG
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    As a 35-year old father of three kids, this may be really dumb, but I can still cum after a V-word, right? It's just swimmerless-cum, correct?
     
  18. DUCKMOUTH

    DUCKMOUTH People don’t you know, don’t you know
    Donor
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesNew Orleans SaintsGrateful DeadPoker

    Correct
     
    Aurelius and dukebuckeye like this.
  19. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 FSU Seminoles 2020 National Champions
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Correct.
     
    dukebuckeye likes this.
  20. dukebuckeye

    dukebuckeye I’m OK with your low opinion of me.
    Donor TMB OG
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

  21. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 FSU Seminoles 2020 National Champions
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    I got an occasional jolt of electricity like feeling every once in awhile for a couple of months but it goes away. Also you have to clear the tubes afterwards so free reign to jerk off as much as you want for a couple of weeks.
     
  22. DUCKMOUTH

    DUCKMOUTH People don’t you know, don’t you know
    Donor
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesNew Orleans SaintsGrateful DeadPoker

    I get people are nervous about their junk, but shits a breeze. I didn’t get offered Valium
     
  23. (Z)

    (Z) Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideBoston Red Sox

    Relatively painless, more uncomfortable due to the pressure.

    I took 1 pain pill immediately after, and that was it.
     
    backinblack23 likes this.
  24. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    I like your style
     
  25. dukebuckeye

    dukebuckeye I’m OK with your low opinion of me.
    Donor TMB OG
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    Another probably dumb question- does the cum release feel any different post v-word?
     
  26. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    Do tell.
     
  27. LuPoor

    LuPoor Cuddle with the homies watching Stand By Me
    Donor
    Tulsa Golden HurricaneOklahoma City ThunderTottenham HotspurSeattle Kraken

    No
     
  28. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    :bananallama:
     
    Daddy Rabbit and Taffy like this.
  29. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
    Donor
    California Golden Bears

    I think I used three of the 30 vicodins they prescribed for me afterward, but the general soreness was alleviated with Advil. Procedure itself was excruciating

    OP, you'll probably feel up to doing stuff after 2-3 days. Resist the urge. Take a full five days off.
     
  30. dukebuckeye

    dukebuckeye I’m OK with your low opinion of me.
    Donor TMB OG
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

     
  31. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    Scared to do this after my next kid because I don't want the nurses to laugh at my small dong
     
  32. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    you don't know the origin story to my easter egg?

    :celemo:
     
    Fusiontegra likes this.
  33. AbeFroman

    AbeFroman You touch me, I yell RAT!

    I did mine a few years ago. Show up to the appointment toward the end of the day. Nurse takes vitals and then tells me to take off pants and underwear and lay in the table for the doc. Then, she just stands there. A little weird I think. So, drop the pants and pause to look up as she's watching.

    Her: "The underwear too"

    Me: "lady, if you want the full show, I'll have to charge you the full price"

    (She leaves the room)

    Doc comes in wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Numbs up my scrotum while bullshitting. A few minutes in I feel a pinch and jump.

    "Oh you can feel that?" (Shoots more of what I assume is lidocaine into the area)

    A few minutes later I feel another pinch and jump. He reaches for the syringe again.

    Me: "Do you save some of that vial for the next patient?"

    Him: "No"

    Me: "well, let's go heavy on that, I'm a huge pussy when it comes to genital pain"

    Best part of the after (besides not making another kid) was the hydrocodone.

    Worst part was going down the stairs.
     
  34. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    I do not.
     
  35. LuPoor

    LuPoor Cuddle with the homies watching Stand By Me
    Donor
    Tulsa Golden HurricaneOklahoma City ThunderTottenham HotspurSeattle Kraken

    They could not be more bored by the sight of dongs
     
    Craig Pettis and Fusiontegra like this.
  36. Kent Pavelka

    Kent Pavelka Let's pause 10 seconds for station identification
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersMinnesota Twins

    Was a pleasant experience. Valium is awesome.

    I worked the next day, no problem.

    I rode my bike a day or two too soon. I was nervous about damaging the stitches.

    worst part for me was I was surprised I stil needed to rubber up for 12 weeks after it before I could confirm to was shooting blanks.
     
    backinblack23 likes this.
  37. Kent Pavelka

    Kent Pavelka Let's pause 10 seconds for station identification
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersMinnesota Twins

    Oh yeah and don’t forget to shave your balls. My consult was last feb but I didn’t get the procedure until Sept so I forgot that detail. I was embarrassed that the nurse needed to shave that scrote.
     
  38. dukebuckeye

    dukebuckeye I’m OK with your low opinion of me.
    Donor TMB OG
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    Ugh. I haven't worn a condom in like 9 years. Not looking forward to that.
     
    Fusiontegra and Futureman like this.
  39. dukebuckeye

    dukebuckeye I’m OK with your low opinion of me.
    Donor TMB OG
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    Been keeping them clean for decades.
     
  40. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 FSU Seminoles 2020 National Champions
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    No. Everything is the same outside of sperm does not make it to the fluid.
     
    dukebuckeye likes this.
  41. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 FSU Seminoles 2020 National Champions
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    My wife is a derm. As she said you know what women don't like looking at a man's penis especially at work.
     
  42. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesBoston Red SoxPhiladelphia EaglesKent State Golden FlashesCleveland Cavaliers

    Enjoy your new vaginas ladies.
     
    Fusiontegra, Aurelius and dukebuckeye like this.
  43. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 FSU Seminoles 2020 National Champions
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Did you order the sperm test?
     
  44. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    post procedure my doctor gave me a time table list...like don't lift more than 5 lbs. for 3 days and Don't have sex for 7 days and so on. The no-sex thing was easy for like 4 or so days because of the state of my balls and on night 5 it was like a flip was switched and I needed to nut. I did some FJ research and there was no definitive timetable for when you can safely have sex but universally every site said leave your balls alone. Wife was asleep so I decided to menage a moi. Things are going great until I start feeling this insane pressure building up but I'm past the point of stopping. It was a total pleasure/pain thing going on. At this point, it is prudent to mention that back then I used to shoot my load into some form of disposable cup...Dixie, Solo, whatevs. Anyways long story short, I ejaculated so hard that the cup I was holding shot out of my hand. Told that story here and understandably got laughed at. Hence the Solo cup easter egg
     
  45. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    :roll:
     
    Craig Pettis, Snakes and bigred77 like this.
  46. Vince Benedict

    Vince Benedict Well-Known Member

    :awesomeface:
     
    Fusiontegra and AbeFroman like this.
  47. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

    Donor
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsArizona WildcatsTexas AandM Aggies altTennessee Volunteers

    They gave you 30 fucking vicodin after a vasectomy?
     
    BrickTamland and CUAngler like this.
  48. dukebuckeye

    dukebuckeye I’m OK with your low opinion of me.
    Donor TMB OG
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    P sure this is a story Todd Bonzales would appreciate
     
    Todd Bonzales likes this.
  49. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    the funniest thing was when I originally posted the story I dropped in the line about the solo cup all innocuous like and that was the one thing everyone locked in on.
     
  50. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
    Donor
    Michigan Wolverines

    Not to brag but my wife got her tubes removed after our second was born, so I don't have to get it done now