Have had a lot of painful shit with nearly 20 surgeries in my lifetime, with 5 major hip surgeries with two of them where I had 50+ staples up the side of my leg. my top two are easy though: 1- 4 wheeler wreck. Broke my back, collapsed lung, broken ribs, bilateral dislocated AC joints, the hip vagina wound, blowout fracture to my orbital bone, and a herniated disc in my neck. Any time I shifted weight in my bed or got up to piss, I was in agony. Every muscle in my body felt like it was hit with a hammer. This was like two months post op from one of the hip surgeries too. Wanted to die 2- bilateral hardware removal surgery in both hips. They removed screws that went all the way through my femur necks. I got some sort of infection and was running a 104.5 fever for two days afterwards. I went through an entire bottle of post op pain pills in two days and thought about dying then too. What was supposed to be a fairly minor surgery, although most people do one leg at a time, turned into surgery body aches magnified x1000 with the fever. I’ve had so much outrageous shit happen like getting run over by a car twice, have fractured and dislocated ankles…. And nothing comes close to those two.
I've strained my neck by just turning my head too quickly, but this was the first time I really felt I was no longer a young guy. Completely innocuous action leads to immense pain.
Cyst got infected and swelled to about the size of two golf balls. Local anesthesia didn’t take because it had swelled too much. Incision and drain was awful pain on an open wound that size without anesthesia. Walk in clinic should have sent me to the hospital instead of doing it.
4 wheelers/side-by-sides are frightening. At my last job we went up to a place you can rent ATVs in Dahlonega, GA. Most of my former coworkers are basically rednecks that love this shit and I could not believe how fast the two who had side-by-sides were going given the terrain (narrow muddy trails, a million pine trees). The rest of us rode in these Wolverine X2s and it was pretty impressive how you could get them damn near completely on the side in the mud and still navigate out of it with the differential lock setting.
1-Recovering from heart surgery, had a rapid succession of migraines where my head felt like it was splitting open. Started puking, and had to hug a pillow to keep from blowing the sutures. The pain was so bad my parents rushed me to the hospital and they had to knock me out. 2-Double case of gout in my toe and ankle 3-Threw my back out and had to lay on the floor all Thanksgiving day about 7 years ago.
Slammed my thumb in a car door when I was about 8-9. I apparently put my left hand on the car and swung the door closed with my right hand, not realizing that my thumb was ever so slightly in the frame of the door. I didn't even know it happened at first until I went to talk away and my arm didn't come with me. I then looked and felt a rush of pain. Worst part is that the door locked immediately once I closed it, so I was standing there with my thumb literally in the door while my mom was fumbling for her keys to re-open it. The pain was excruciating, but I somehow didn't break anything and narrowly missed my nail matrix (or whatever it is that you need to grow a nail), so got kind of lucky there.
Dislocated my kneecap sophomore year of high school. Got tackled and the kids helmet pushed my kneecap all the way around my leg so it was on the back of my leg
I was throwing a football with my daughter and I reached for one over my head and strained my back. It's the best. Or waking up with a fucked a neck from???
Probably some bullshit you did while sleepwalking. I'd wager that your somnambulant misadventures are also why Lt. Pete Mitchell dislikes you. Maybe you sleep-stabbed his dog or something. Or maybe I'm off.
Maybe in middle school track. I was doing the High Jump and cranked my back so bad I couldn’t stand up straight. The one summer I tore a bunch of stuff in my left ankle when I rolled it playing capture the flag. Then as soon as that healed I did the same to the other when I was car surfing. Flew off that Jeep and landed with all my weight on my right ankle. Wasn’t super awful pain, but a pain in the ass since I was unable to do shit the summer going into my Senior year. Screwed me up for sports, too.
Pulled a bunch of tendons and ligaments in my left ankle rolling my ankle playing basketball, crawled back to my house and threw up in the front yard. Was black and blue for a month from my toe to my knee. Doctor showed me the pieces of bones that were tore off when the ligaments ripped off the bone.
Boating accident; it was my first time tubing behind a speed boat. I was with my cousin and no one noticed the rope slack coiled around my arm. Boat launches and I went flying; I had a scar going almost round my left arm up until I was in college.
So, did you have to have major surgery or anything? I'm interpreting your original post literally that you almost lost your arm.
When I was 3 I sat in a pot of greens that had been boiling hours for a family reunion. I had third degree burns on my ass, and in my mid to late 30s you can still see scars on my ass. I don’t remember the pain though.
when I was in college I was in a boat with some people I didn’t really know. Full throttle on our way back to marina and wind catches tube and whoever was supposed to secure tube did not. Wrapped around some dudes arm and he flew out of boat like he was parasailing. We circled back and all jumped in and he was in so much pain, rope was wrapped around his bicep into muscle. Someone cut it off with knife and it went from white to red with blood. Apparently guy played piano and I think was never able to again
some people may read Bert’s crazy stories and think he is exaggerating, but when you meet him in person and see his face it all makes sense
i did this last week and it still fucking hurts. Not the worst pain ever and the picture isn’t as bad as others ITT but I just want everyone to know I’m posting through pain right now Spoiler
I’ve had a few minor injuries and stress fractures but a high ankle sprain was the absolute worst. I played basketball for almost 5 hours one Friday afternoon when I was 26. Game point of the last game and I came down on a guys foot and there was a crunch that made everyone in the gym groan. My ankle swole immediately halfway up calf. The pain then was pretty rough but that night and the next few days were the worst. If I kept it elevated it was only a 8/10. When I tried to stand upright it was unbearable to the point where it took my breath away. It turned black over the next few days and hurt so fucking bad for two weeks. The student health clinic said radiographs were negative and gave me a nice pamphlet on ankle sprains like I had some kind of std. It took me a solid 6 months before I could do anything athletic again and pretty much ended my basketball days.
Had to give myself stitches with a tent repair kit on a backpacking trip. Backpacking through a shale/talus field and the trail gave way. Got a nice huge piece in my hip.
I've been pretty lucky compared to most of you tbqh. -cracked tooth / exposed nerve wasn't pleasant -broken ribs sucked ankle neuropathy really sucked (exquisitely painful. 8 years on when I tap on that spot on my ankle, my foot goes numb)
Had an open compound fracture of my radius and displaced ulnar fracture. Basically, it looked like I had two elbows. It really wasn’t that bad at first because I was in shock, then on dilaudid. My first surgery installed an exfixator, which sucked. But, the worst was when they removed the ex-fix and internally fixated it. They gave me nerve block at the shoulder, but it wore off right around when I wanted to go to sleep. The arm was paralyzed, but I could still feel pain. That night was excruciating.
I also had ulnar nerve damage, which still randomly affects me. Sometimes I’ll put my left hand in a cooler or bump my forearm the right way and it feels like I’m getting burned.