Family members around the holidays

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Bo Pelinis, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Anybody have recs for a good zip up garment bag. TIA
     
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  2. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    Do not marry her. It will get worse.
     
  3. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
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    not me but my best friend just sent me this talking about his father in law :loldog:
    77C05ADF-B6D0-476A-BC4D-E1E44DB559ED.jpeg

    Lol it gets better

    547FDD58-9721-47AF-9FDB-5816218D1718.jpeg
     
    #6403 Cabs, Dec 23, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2021
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  4. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    this is how you hit 100
     
  5. Han Solo

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    This thread always fills my heart with joy during this time of year.

    Thank you, everyone.
     
  6. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    These work perfect when you need to get something packed in a hurry
    8182FC31-1559-48F5-9581-23BE701C579C.jpeg
     
  7. Tro lo lo

    Tro lo lo You kids must be from the suburbs.
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    Syracuse Orange

    I volunteered to purchase and cook prime rib as one of the main courses for Christmas dinner. I picked up an 8 lb roast the other day, and my dad called me tonight and reminded me that I have to cook it well done for 5 of the 7 guests, because my aunt wants it "extra well done."
     
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  8. John McGuirk

    John McGuirk member of the blue tiger club
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    Tell that bitch she can microwave it
     
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  9. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    Yeah she is getting what is served. If she doesn't like it, that sounds like a personal problem.
     
  10. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
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    "No"
     
  11. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Go get some boston and cook it well done.
     
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  12. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    And I said boston when I should’ve said to go get the cheapest pork cut you can find and cook it thoroughly just for them, they won’t taste the difference
     
  13. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    [​IMG]
     
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  14. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    Wtf is “extra well done”? Charred black?
     
  15. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    when they start to use these words it just means that whatever you do won’t be good enough
     
  16. AbeFroman

    AbeFroman You touch me, I yell RAT!

    It's wrong. That's what it is.

    That cow will haunt his dreams if his death was used for something called an extra well done steak.
     
  17. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    I'm dead serious, by the way. From experience, a Christmas/"my parents" nut girlfriend is a much worse Christmas/"my parents" nut wife and mother, and unless you want November and December to be a miserable nightmare every year, just break up with her. You're looking at 1/6 of every year being terrible and I promise you it never gets better, only worse.
     
  18. leroi

    leroi -
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    i had to listen to stories about "woke joe biden," and they weren't even ironic

    i learned from my dad that the marxists are taking over the west coast, even tho he hasn't ventured more than 100 miles from south carolina in the past 40 years
     
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  19. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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    I will speak for myself, but I have appreciated all of the stories and situations people bring up. Over the years this board has made me better and a lot of people better than they were they were before.
    I’ve learned that one my family isn’t that bad, two you can laugh at the idiots and three laugh at them but don’t argue.
     
    #6419 Corky Bucek, Dec 24, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2021
  20. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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    That said it will take every ounce of energy to not argue with my mom’s husband who will say the NBA is unwatchable because the are a bunch of divas, etc. (I wish I could straight up call him out on being racist)

    Me: Turns on TV to ABC

    MH: Can’t believe that foul call or they don’t play like I used watch. They draw the fouls all the time and flop around

    Also MH sitting next to me: opens up newspaper: I never watch the NBA, but check this out the Suns and Warriors are dominating.
     
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  21. —

    Well-Known Member
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    In his defense, the Lakers are unwatchable

    and I’m not even a Lakers hater. Let’s just hope they are trying to keep gas in the tank for the latter half of the season.
     
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  22. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    go back to the drunk, unedited version. It was way better.
     
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  23. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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    I don’t remember exactly what I said but I will give him up that he’s a Nebraska, UCLA, and Norte Dame fan
     
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  24. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    The 1/2/3 numbering was all over the place and had a bunch of typos. It took me a minute to figure out what you were saying, but eventually cracked me up.
     
  25. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    I got nothing
     
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  26. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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    My apologies I have had a few drinks and pressed send before I proof read.
     
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  27. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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    Note to self:
    Send Lip a copy of my post itt before I press send
     
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  28. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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    Edit add on;
    I bought my mom’s husband a Chinese knock off of the garment bag. When he tries to open it he can’t lol
     
  29. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Not really a family post but holiday related. Woke up at 430am to drive 2 hours to the airport for a 10am flight cuz "arrive three hours early for international flights". Delta sent me an email at midnight that my flight had been cancelled and my 9 hour direct flight is now a 7 hour flight, a 4 hour layover in Boston, and a 3 hour flight to Atlanta. So because of time differences I had to re-coordínate airport pickup and where my kid is going to be at my 5am while trying to get out the door, and my parents and ex wife's midnight and trying to go to bed. Like I got upgraded to first class for the transatlantic flight but I'm now missing Christmas Eve with my daughter cuz a plane in Atlanta broke.
     
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  30. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Lmao at "extra well done."

    I can't imagine how many glasses of water I'd need to get that arid slab of coal down.
     
    #6430 tylerdolphin, Dec 24, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2021
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  31. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    Just slather it in ketchup
     
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  32. Rick

    Rick You da man
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    Auburn Tigers

    Go to the gas station and buy a package of beef jerky to dump on her plate.
     
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  33. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    i-think-you-should-leave-tim-robinson.gif
     
  34. LeVar Burton

    LeVar Burton Knee deep in a dynasty, ROLL TIDE!
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    I was originally thankful for the Lowe’s and Home Depot gift cards my in laws gave me. Personally, I’ve never liked giving gift cards that much but now that I’ve read Lip and DollarBillHokie ‘s stories…gift cards are amazing gifts!
     
    #6434 LeVar Burton, Dec 24, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2021
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  35. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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  36. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
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    Three Christmases ago I made a delectable rib roast only to receive complaints from my mother in law and sister in law that it was "bloody" and needed to be cooked more. I just threw their pieces in the cast iron and let them have their way while the rest of us enjoyed it the way it ought to be enjoyed.
     
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  37. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    My SIL is flying into town today. She’s scheduled to land at 1:30pm. The airport is about 25 miles south of us.

    My in laws are coming up to our house today. My wife said they are planning to get here around lunch. They live 100 miles south of us.

    My in laws won’t pick up their own daughter from the airport (that they will literally be passing) because it doesn’t fit their “schedule”. So my wife will spend two hours picking up her sister while my in laws sit here with me bored.

    Merry Christmas, TMB.

    Edit: I grew up in a family where my parents bent over backwards to see their kids. Airport an hour away at 2am? No problem. The opposite behavior is just bizarre to me. I tell my wife all the time that her parents hate them all and regret having kids.
     
    #6437 jbr, Dec 24, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2021
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  38. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    That is ridiculous but also only 25 miles? I Uber/Lyft that distance quite frequently in Dallas.
     
  39. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    She’s now taking the train. Which sort of undermines my faux outrage, but the point still stands that her parents won’t pick her up.
     
  40. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Yep, that is cray-cray.
     
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  41. COVIDiskilingme79

    COVIDiskilingme79 Well-Known Member
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    Woah look at Mr Moneybags over here
     
  42. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    C249BE34-5DD5-4F2F-85FE-D373D62B1B17.gif
     
  43. AbeFroman

    AbeFroman You touch me, I yell RAT!

    This will be me in a few hours. Can't wait.
     
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  44. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    He's been whoring his kid out for every modeling gig west of the Mississippi. Poor little fella works more than all of us combined.
    #freebabytramp
     
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  45. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Do you too want a smiling kid? Try bacon! #bacon #bigpork #breakfast #influencer

    BC0FD8E2-5F5A-4C67-9F60-DF2611ACDE52.jpeg
     
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  46. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Christmas Eve celebration tonight with my wife’s psychotic cousin. He will corner me within thirty minutes to talk about crypto all night and the devaluing of the dollar by our corrupt federal government. His own brothers straight up ignore him but I am apparently an easy mark.
     
  47. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
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    Michigan Wolverines

    We are hosting Christmas Eve dinner tonight with my parents and grandparents. My grandma has asked both through my mom and directly to me if she can bring my kids' gifts tonight to open instead of tomorrow because that's what she did growing up. I said no when asked both times but they continue to ask. I fucking hate my life
     
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  48. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    Wow sounds...terrible?
     
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  49. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Wife bought this Chinese puzzle box and put cash in it to gift to her aunt (gift made sense, something her Aunt would love) - neither myself or my wife have been able to figure out how to open it (after cash has been put in it).

    Strong chance we have to break this thing on Christmas Day.
     
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  50. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    You might be the asshole in this situation