Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    vaccines are pointless in a way if you cry every time you step out of the house and will be murdered by your wife (totally normal) if you stay inside
     
    letan and Baron like this.
  2. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    By god that's my wife's music

    [​IMG]
     
    Anison, IV, CoastalOrange and 16 others like this.
  3. Fat Drunk & Stupid

    Fat Drunk & Stupid Barning Hard
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    Can someone fax me when this thread is fun again, TIA.
     
  4. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Only since you asked for it in fax form.
     
    IV likes this.
  5. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I don't really have any mind-blowing ones but we do apparently have to house like a group of her gfs this upcoming week (which I found out about around 1am-2am this morning) and our place is a shitshow - so either I'm paying for hotels or just suffering the judgment of our place not being perfect. win/win amirite

    Can't wait.
     
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  6. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Also - not my wife, but my neighbor's wife I guess did some major damage to their electrical somehow trying to use a blower. That's gotta be a fun one to walk into.

    "I was trying to help"
     
    bigred77, One Two and Dump like this.
  7. ButchCassidy

    ButchCassidy Well-Known Member
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    orgy!
     
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  8. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Nope - all off limits. SO again, can't wait.
     
  9. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    I am anti fax
     
  10. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    I think only Mrs. Ethan edwards (MEE) has the ability to save us from more pages of internet randos stating the obvious to someone who obviously doesn't care.

    Help us MEE! you (and your attractive trysts) are our only hope!
     
  11. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    This tangent is the worst one yet
     
  12. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    We hit desperation mode - unless you were talking about Hoss in which case yes, that went pretty far off the rails.
     
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  13. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    My bad
     
  14. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    My wife uses an insane amount of toilet paper. She finishes a roll practically every other day. To top it off, she NEVER puts a new roll on when she is done. Leaves one square on the roll for me. I'm at the point where I immediately turn to grab a new roll every time I walk into the bathroom to prevent myself from having to get up mid-shit.
     
    Rabid, Lip, Brocephus and 9 others like this.
  15. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
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    Having lived with 2-3 women and being the only male in the house for the majority of my life, it is insane in general for how much TP a woman goes through
     
  16. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    DistantFactor, Ty Webb and One Two like this.
  17. Fat Drunk & Stupid

    Fat Drunk & Stupid Barning Hard
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    My ex-wife did some major damage to our relationship when she used her "blower" on a co-worker.

    True story.
     
    BigReff73, letan, fetumpsh and 30 others like this.
  18. electronic

    electronic It’s satire!
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    At least Hoss can take solace in the fact that the holes in masks are much smaller than bullets, so he won’t have to worry about it slipping through undetected when it kills him in front of his child.
     
    AubCabs likes this.
  19. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    My wife and I use different bathrooms for #babyreasons. I walked in hers the other day and saw half a roll on the floor and several empties stacked on the holder like she was building a fort with them
     
    Anison, DistantFactor, Rabid and 14 others like this.
  20. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    Give your wife a bidet
     
  21. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    fauci lied and people died!!!
     
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  22. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    we turned the bidet into a linen closet when we renovated the bathroom. MISTAKES WERE MADE
     
    Barves2125, bigred77, Dump and 5 others like this.
  23. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    Oh no baby
     
  24. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    anyone's wife rear end them on the highway lately?
     
  25. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
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    let’s keep this baby humming:

    team linen closet
     
    Baron, Cornfed Buffalo, Dump and 3 others like this.
  26. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Wouldn’t the bidet be next to the toilet? Why would you be able to turn the bidet into a different room? Did you have to go a distance to get from the toilet to the bidet?
     
  27. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    All great questions that deserve answers
     
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  28. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    My man just went industrial for his bidet. Sucker bigger than a pool pump
     
  29. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    Starting a new business and incorporating it in Wyoming. My wife asked if it was bc we are Packer fans (She’s been to Green Bay before)
     
  30. CharlieKellyReturns

    CharlieKellyReturns Well-Known Member
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    I'm married and have four daughters. We're using that John Wayne shit at this point.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  31. Stone Cold Steve Austin

    Stone Cold Steve Austin Tickler Extraordinaire
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    Well?
     
  32. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Going to Puerto Rico next week with the wifey. Love her but she is annoying af to travel with. It's like picking a restaurant for the whole trip. I have to plan the whole thing and come up with ideas of what to do but then she gets tired of only doing what I want. Yet has no ideas herself.

    We are staying @ air bnb right off the beach and I'm going to lay around, relax, maybe read and drink. I'm not planning a goddamn thing besides going to other coastal areas. If she wants to do something then she can have the keys to the rental car.
     
    CoastalOrange, Lip, Brocephus and 8 others like this.
  33. mp_22

    mp_22 Well-Known Member
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    I believe every women is like the first part of this.
     
  34. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    My wife decided that the best place to wrap someone’s birthday present was on the floor in the only footpath into the living room.
     
  35. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    The way this reads could be a 4 year difference or 17.
     
    PAHokie, ashy larry, Jigga and 4 others like this.
  36. Cornfed Buffalo

    Cornfed Buffalo What's a Narduzzi?
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    Arkansas
     
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  37. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    7 year difference.
     
  38. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Go to St. Thomas next time. But you've got it exactly right on what to do in PR. Maybe take a tour of the Bacardi factory. But other than that, lay by the beach and drink rum.
     
  39. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    If all you're gunna do is sit around and drink, we could have just stayed home

    :shrug:
     
    Brocephus, Henry Blake and ned's head like this.
  40. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
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  41. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    blind dog are you just following me around the damn country now
     
    PAHokie, Homo Erectus and blind dog like this.
  42. mal630

    mal630 Well-Known Member
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    Ordering at restaurants is getting comically bad. I almost have to look away.
     
    tylerdolphin, Hatfield and bigred77 like this.
  43. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    That’s for the guns he knows about. By his own words, he did not even know about this gun or its location [checks notes] under the washer.

    I thought under the washer was floor. Now I have to check if there is a gun under mine.
     
    Tobias, Rabid, ARCO and 8 others like this.
  44. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Above the washer. I did know it was in the house but did not know where it was.
     
  45. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    This just doesn’t compute.
     
    Baron likes this.
  46. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    I didn’t know where it was. I don’t know where most of our shit is. I’ve posted about how everyday is like a game of hide and go seek. It’s maddening.
     
  47. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    So if you open a drawer to get something out one day and you knowingly put it back in that drawer that doesn’t mean if you open that same drawer to get that same thing out that it will be there again. The odds are it’s not in there.
     
    bigred77 and Dump like this.
  48. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    I’ve mentioned it multiple times in this thread but everyday is like a game of hide and go seek. It’s insane.
     
  49. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    I only keep one credit card and one debit card in my wallet

    I’m at a restaurant picking up a to-go order and check my wallet and both are missing

    call my wife and both are in her purse. She has her own credit and debit card but couldn’t find them so she borrowed mine and forgot to put them back.
     
  50. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Why didn’t you run this by me we are supposed to be business partners
     
    PAHokie, Tobias, One Two and 3 others like this.