Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    It’s very noticeable. But my step son is glued to my wife. It’s like teams in our house. The thing that sucks is me and the wife went through a rough patch in the fall. She’s amazing now and we’ve grown so much closer and gotten really affectionate and now my son is extremely jealous. It sucks. He cock blocks me all the time.
     
    THF and bigred77 like this.
  2. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Dad gets cock blocked by kids
    News at 9
     
  3. OhioHoo

    OhioHoo Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
    Donor
    Columbus Blue JacketsCleveland BrownsVirginia CavaliersBorussia DortmundOhio State Buckeyes

    Bluey. It’s only Bluey
     
    momux, tigr2ndbase, Sub-Zero and 3 others like this.
  4. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis ColtsBook Club

    Laughed out loud at Bluey the other day.

    “Remember how I told you were the most special kid in the whole world?”

    “yeah”

    “well you’re not. Maybe to me and your mom but the rest of the world doesn’t think so”
     
    GoS, momux, ugafish and 11 others like this.
  5. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
    Donor
    Portland Trail BlazersGreen Bay PackersOregon State Beavers alt

    Felt my little guy kick for the first time. So amazing
     
  6. Han Solo

    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesOregon DucksSeattle MarinersPittsburgh SteelersAvengers

    My youngest is right at the height that when she runs into me to hug me, she headbutts me right in the junk. Got me good this AM.
     
  7. tigr2ndbase

    tigr2ndbase Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Mississippi State Bulldogs

    Pray for me guys. Daughter turns 8 and doing a birthday sleepover. Think we’re going to have around 6-8 kids staying the night after the party. It’s going to be a long night.
     
  8. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Man, godspeed

    I can't imagine our (recently turned) 8 year old would last the night sleeping at someone else's house.
    Hopefully power in numbers will help and you won't be dealing with late night running kids home
     
    #12958 bigred77, Jan 22, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2022
  9. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Had one of the most iconic kid moments. My daughter is usually pretty risk adverse when it comes to climbing up on stuff and falling over. But just now I was in the office for one minute trying to cancel my debit card, since I lost it, and find out I have to call the bank. As soon as I start to dial I hear a large *SLAM* followed by 10 minutes of crying and a huge welt forming on her forehead.
     
    #12959 Pile Driving Miss Daisy, Jan 22, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2022
  10. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsNew York GiantsManchester CityNational LeagueBarAndGrill

  11. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Baron, Tobias, bigred77 and 1 other person like this.
  12. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSeattle SupersonicsSporting Kansas City

    That child is going places.

    Also, I want a grown-up version of that onesie.
     
  13. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Going places as in delivering pizzas lmbo
     
    Baron, Rabid and a.tramp like this.
  14. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsNew York GiantsManchester CityNational LeagueBarAndGrill

    sounds like i get a nice discount on za then
     
  15. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Wife was in the shower and I was breaking down boxes. Kid got into the Nutella.

    E9E17525-206C-4240-99E5-26971F843F33.jpeg
     
  16. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    Hell yes, way to go lil redacted!
     
  17. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Totally your fault
     
  18. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Well, you survive?
     
  19. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Making her own chocolaty Hollywood Walk of Fame all over the bathtub.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  20. tigr2ndbase

    tigr2ndbase Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Mississippi State Bulldogs

    Kids didn’t go to sleep until 2:30. They woke up around 7 full of energy to play. Parents picked them all up by 10. Needless to say we have no energy but made it through.
     
  21. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    Levi just did a smash and grab on the Apple Tv remote. I think it is comical, wife is furious. Somehow she thinks now the tv is broken, along with the HDMI cords. I told her that it is an Apple TV issue as he can not break physical items by pushing buttons on an Apple TV remote, unless it is the Apple tv remote.
     
    THF, bigred77 and Name P. Redacted like this.
  22. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    4 year old "stole" a pack of M&Ms from Lowes yesterday. Kept telling him no in the self checkout line. Wasn't totally paying attention then as we are about to the car I see him carrying them. Took them back. Explained why we don't/can't do that and that that kind of stuff can get you arrested and put in jail. "But I can't go to jail I'll miss my mommy"
     
    GoS, Rabid, One Knight and 9 others like this.
  23. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski do what now?
    Donor

    Careful with him purchasing stuff without you knowing it. Wife was giving the kids our amazon fire remote to play with and he purchased a movie, she didn't think that could happen unless the fire interface was up on the tv.
     
    a.tramp likes this.
  24. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    El Tiburon
     
    GoS, a.tramp, bigred77 and 2 others like this.
  25. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida Gators

    There’s more to this story, IMO. Kid sounds like a criminal genius in the making.
     
  26. Dildo Dawgins

    Dildo Dawgins Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Georgia BulldogsAtlanta BravesGrateful DeadBook Club

    Paw Patrol honestly isn't bad. The best part about it is there's already 8 seasons, unlike some shows like Dino Ranch and Spidey where you have to watch the same damn episodes over and over again. My wife and I get a kick out how stupid everyone on Paw Patrol is and will sometimes make bets on who needs rescued on the next episode. Hint: 90% of the time its the mayor or Turbot.
     
  27. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
    Donor TMB OG
    Penn State Nittany LionsPhiladelphia PhilliesPhiladelphia 76'ersPhiladelphia EaglesPhiladelphia FlyersArsenalPhiladelphia UnionUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    my oldest loves Miraculous: Ladybug and it's not THAT bad compared to the other stuff she wants to watch.

    son loves Spidey but agree I need more seasons.

    Bluey is definitely the best. "I've done me hammy" is an all-time quote in my house.

    I'll always have a soft spot for the Wiggles too.
     
    a.tramp likes this.
  28. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

    I thought the Paw Patrol movie's opening scene did a pretty funny job of making fun of its whole premise
     
    Snakes, bigred77 and Dildo Dawgins like this.
  29. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Went to paw patrol live a few years ago and it became a full on 5 year old mosh pit in the front
     
  30. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Been in L&D for almost 24 hours. I was told the second kid would be delivered faster.
     
    VASooner, Snakes, Rabid and 4 others like this.
  31. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Our first was induced and long. Our second went into labor naturally and it was longer. Ts and Ps
     
    Rabid and Han Solo like this.
  32. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Kid was born an hour later. Complaining works folks.
     
  33. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    Congrats.
     
    Snakes and Name P. Redacted like this.
  34. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSan Francisco GiantsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysSan Francisco 49'ersMontreal Impact

    Congrats!
     
  35. Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    Dr. Mantis Toboggan Well-Known Member
    Florida State SeminolesBoston Red SoxOrlando MagicNew England PatriotsBoston Bruins

    Hahaha and congrats!
     
  36. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

    Donor
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsArizona WildcatsTexas AandM Aggies altTennessee Volunteers

    Anyone with potty-training aged girls ever have your dtr insists on standing?

    So my dtr has now TWICE insisted on "using my penis," standing in front of the toilet and to my amazement, found a way to position her urethra so she arcs that stream with better precision than I can. Doesn't spill a drop.

    Just kinda curious if that's something people have encountered. Not worried about anything, if anything, it's a pretty cool trick
     
    bigred77 and Name P. Redacted like this.
  37. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Anyone have iOS apps they recommend for kid learning? Looking in the 2-4 age group
     
  38. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt


    Thats hilarious, has she seen you pee outside a lot or something?
     
  39. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Is “dtr” daughter?
     
    Snakes likes this.
  40. FourClover01

    Donor

    My 3 and half year old peed standing up for the first time. He was so pumped afterward and gave me a running high five. Proud Dad moment.
     
  41. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I have a new appreciation of newborn cuddles now that I’m experiencing the chaotic energy of a toddler
     
    bigred77 and infected donkey like this.
  42. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksChicago CubsAvengersBarAndGrillSoutheastern Conference

    Mine yesterday started saying DADA and MAMA over the weekend and can differentiate between us. Wife sent video after I left for work last night him yelling DADADADAADADADADA.
     
  43. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksChicago CubsAvengersBarAndGrillSoutheastern Conference

    She said he's already figured out when one of of isn't paying attention he yells each respective name. I woke up yesterday afternoon to him yelling maamaamaamaamuuuuuummmmmmuuuuummmm because she was washing bottles.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  44. Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    Dr. Mantis Toboggan Well-Known Member
    Florida State SeminolesBoston Red SoxOrlando MagicNew England PatriotsBoston Bruins

    Felt the baby kick for the first time. That was fucking cool.
     
    duc15, DriveByBBQ, JC and 6 others like this.
  45. VASooner

    VASooner Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Washington NationalsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysOklahoma SoonersLiverpool

    Sleep regression can blow me, but I'm too tired to even enjoy it
     
  46. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    I literally only felt Levi kick one time. Any time I put my hand on wife’s belly he immediately stopped.
     
  47. Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    Dr. Mantis Toboggan Well-Known Member
    Florida State SeminolesBoston Red SoxOrlando MagicNew England PatriotsBoston Bruins

    That had been happening for about two weeks before I finally felt it the other night.
     
    a.tramp likes this.
  48. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksChicago CubsAvengersBarAndGrillSoutheastern Conference

    Yea I witnessed it more than felt it. Same with me anytime I put my hand on the belly he calmed down.
     
    Dr. Mantis Toboggan and a.tramp like this.
  49. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksChicago CubsAvengersBarAndGrillSoutheastern Conference

    Plenty of nights where I had to put my hand on her belly so she could sleep because he was moving so much.
     
    a.tramp and Dr. Mantis Toboggan like this.
  50. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis ColtsBook Club

    Give me a toddler over an infant any day. Infant stage is for the birds.
     
    steamengine, a.tramp, JC and 3 others like this.