The Northman

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Emma, Dec 20, 2021.

  1. Doyle McPoyle

    Doyle McPoyle Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    51
     
  2. CUtigers

    CUtigers Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Clemson TigersDenver Broncos

    What an intense movie. I liked it quite a bit, and cant wait to see it again. There were only 4 other people in my showing. Just barely beats out the last movie I saw in theaters, which had 3 others (Green Knight).
     
  3. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
    Donor
    UCF KnightsAtlanta BravesMiami DolphinsAEW

    But does he, or does he not, hang dong?
     
  4. Nelson

    Nelson Can somebody please get Ja Rhule on the phone
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersDenver NuggetsDenver BroncosColorado AvalanceBorussia DortmundManchester UnitedColorado State Rams

    Movie absolutely bangs
     
    CUtigers and Mr Bulldops like this.
  5. Professor Moriarty

    Professor Moriarty Well-Known Member
    Florida State SeminolesLos Angeles LakersSan Francisco 49'ers

    [​IMG]
     
    Taffy, Pelican, War Grundle and 2 others like this.
  6. Roy

    Roy Well-Known Member
    Donor
    South Carolina Gamecocks

    In the scene where he’s pillow talking with ATJ and they are both naked I had to bite down on the straw to my Mountain Dew to resist yelling out SHOW US HIS DIIIIIICK
     
    #56 Roy, Apr 23, 2022
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2022
  7. CUtigers

    CUtigers Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Clemson TigersDenver Broncos

    Sadly, Odin's ravens wouldn't get out of the way
     
    Mr Bulldops likes this.
  8. Fast Eddie

    Fast Eddie BIG DICK DADDY FROM CINCINNATI
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BengalsGame of Thrones2pacCoors Light

    I went to the film last night at 7:50pm est took 45mgs of adderall and still have a boner about some of the fucking shots and imagery I saw throughout !!!
     
  9. Fast Eddie

    Fast Eddie BIG DICK DADDY FROM CINCINNATI
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BengalsGame of Thrones2pacCoors Light

    this is the exact right number based on the criteria
     
    Pelican and Nick Rivers like this.
  10. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
    Donor
    UCF KnightsAtlanta BravesMiami DolphinsAEW

    [​IMG]
     
    Taffy likes this.
  11. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
    Donor
    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    One of my friends is filming a series right now and had to get fitted for a prosthetic dong because apparently you can hang real dong but you can't have erect real dong under the current legislation.
     
    Han Solo likes this.
  12. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
    Donor
    UCF KnightsAtlanta BravesMiami DolphinsAEW

    Thanks Obama Trump Joe

    you can only hang dong, not tent pole dong
     
  13. TrustyPatches

    TrustyPatches Life is is a bunch of ups and Caleb Downs
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideChicago CubsNew Orleans PelicansWu-tang

    Not being allowed to hang dong isn’t mint
     
  14. paulski

    paulski Well-Known Member

    It's a well made film but never really rises to any great heights IMO. Alex and Anya are top class which is no surprise whatsoever to me, as is the guy that plays Uncle Fjolnir. And it was beautifully filmed from start to finish... but there was something missing and I can't quite put my finger on it. It was all just a bit... basic? :idk:
     
    CMoney128 likes this.
  15. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesBig Ten Conference

    Pretty sure it’s been like that for a long time. Dick can be seen flaccid bc it’s just human, but a boner implies eXplicit content.
     
  16. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
    Donor
    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Yea I don't think it's anything new.
     
  17. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesBig Ten Conference

    The weirder one to me is vagina. You can show bush to imply vagina but you can’t show actual labias.
     
  18. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsChelseaAtlanta United

    Probably because it was just Lion King with humans.
     
    CMoney128 likes this.
  19. Sean Connery

    Sean Connery I'll take Whore Ads for $200
    Donor
    Penn State Nittany LionsUCF KnightsOrlando MagicTampa Bay BuccaneersPittsburgh PenguinsPittsburgh PiratesBig Ten Conference

    I’ve been calling it Viking Braveheart on LSD, but Viking Lion King on LSD also works
     
    Charles DeMar likes this.
  20. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsChelseaAtlanta United

    I enjoyed it, but the plot/story is probably it’s weakness
     
    CMoney128 and paulski like this.
  21. Quailman

    Quailman how playa is that, mayne?
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersCincinnati RedsOklahoma City ThunderSeattle SeahawksSeattle Kraken

    Thought this movie kicked ass. Looked amazing, and stayed true to Viking lore/history from my limited understanding of it
     
  22. I mean it is based on an old scandanavian revenge tale written in the 12th century which shakespeare made into hamlet and the groomers at disney made into the lion king. I dont think stories from the 1100s were going to be too complicated
     
  23. paulski

    paulski Well-Known Member

    Definitely. It was a fun ride, but I kept waiting for it to go to the next level and it never really got there.
     
    Det. Frank Bullitt and Emma like this.
  24. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsHouston RocketsDallas CowboysSneakers

    A friends wife posted her “review” of the movie on Facebook. Long post short, it was just too much “mystical” stuff for Jesus loving people like themselves. Yeah, because there’s nothing outlandish about the stories in the Bible.
     
    DayDomination, TC, IV and 5 others like this.
  25. Emma

    Emma
    Donor
    Wisconsin BadgersMilwaukee Brewers altMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay Packers

    Shoot. Sucks to hear this.
     
  26. paulski

    paulski Well-Known Member

    Look, probably best not to take my word for it - definitely see it yourself and make your own mind up. I got my hopes up from the slick trailer and a VERY positive review on Bleeding Cool (I really should know better by now) and went in with way too high expectations. It's a solid movie with good performances, but like Arrec said, the storyline's a little thin.
     
    Emma likes this.
  27. Det. Frank Bullitt

    Det. Frank Bullitt God Bless Texas
    Donor TMB OG
    Texas LonghornsManchester United

    like he said, great ride - but it never blew me away, which I kind of was expecting.

    Great stylized action flick.
     
    paulski and Sean Connery like this.
  28. CMoney128

    CMoney128 Well-Known Member
    Atlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsSouthern California Trojans

    Pretty much exactly how I felt. Was surprised when it was done that I wanted a film with

    a blind Bjork wearing feathers and the main character communicating in barks half the time

    to be...weirder? The story itself was pretty straightforward as others have said, which still slapped cuz the action and the mythology elements that they did put in were great, but would've been even better for me if they'd leaned harder into the latter
     
    paulski likes this.
  29. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
    Donor
    UCF KnightsAtlanta BravesMiami DolphinsAEW

    Thanks, went to see it and had to say this to my wife about 9 times throughout the movie. It killed every time
     
    Roy likes this.
  30. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
    Donor
    UCF KnightsAtlanta BravesMiami DolphinsAEW

    Wait did you miss the post credit seen where Godric shows up and makes him a vampire and then him and Pam open up fangtasia is Shreveport?
     
    Pac_Lion, OldazzNinjaman and paulski like this.
  31. Emma

    Emma
    Donor
    Wisconsin BadgersMilwaukee Brewers altMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay Packers

    Loved it. I'm also heavy into mythology, specifically Greek and Norse.
     
    #81 Emma, May 3, 2022
    Last edited: May 3, 2022
  32. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideUAB BlazersDemocratAvengersBirmingham LegionUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    I do think some Christians take on a sort of mystic exceptionalism's because only one book should have supernatural elements
     
    BayouMafia likes this.
  33. Fuzzy Zoeller

    Fuzzy Zoeller College football > NFL
    Donor

    Saw it last night. Agree with the consensus ITT. One plot/mythology question.

    Was that Anya Taylor-Joy's real bush or a merkin?
     
  34. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Does Efron hang dong in this?
     
  35. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesBig Ten Conference

    This movie fucks
     
  36. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis ColtsBook Club

    At the rate of 1/4th of the movie per night before my wife falls asleep we’ll finish tomorrow night.
     
  37. Pelican

    Pelican COOL huh
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Cincinnati BengalsCincinnati RedsNew Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsOhio State Buckeyes

    How are you watching it? Plex or what?
     
  38. Tarpon Nole

    Tarpon Nole Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    It’s on Amazon for $20

    going to just wait till my buddy adds to plex
     
    Pelican likes this.
  39. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis ColtsBook Club

    Yeah its out there in the torrencesphere
     
    Pelican likes this.
  40. Pelican

    Pelican COOL huh
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Cincinnati BengalsCincinnati RedsNew Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsOhio State Buckeyes

    Just finished. Thought it was awesome.
     
  41. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Seattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksBarcelonaSeattle SupersonicsSeattle SoundersSeattle Kraken

    Yeah, the people saying they were waiting for something else to push it up another level are trippin.
     
  42. i am a bammer

    i am a bammer Ben Eblen>Jamychal Green
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideSan Diego Padres

    I thought it was pretty good. I didn't really read much about it going in so I thought it would be more of a blockbuster with a lot of mythology since it's an Eggers movie. Didn't know the Amleth myth was the inspiration for Hamlet until after the fact. Knowing that made some of the decisions make more sense. The CG Valhal tree and the Valkyrie was a bit much. The middle dragged a bit. The action, acting, and all of the rituals and traditions shown were amazing. Really a great movie to see in a theater.

    I loved the lighthouse. Will definitely watch Witch now.
     
  43. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
    Donor
    Kentucky WildcatsBoston CelticsNew England PatriotsUniversity of LynchburgAEW

    It is available to stream on Peacock now
     
  44. Killy Me Please

    Killy Me Please I lift things up and put people down.
    Donor

    DL it off a Torrance site. Threw it on a flash drive and plugged that sucker into my projector. Watched it outside on full volume at 10pm. I felt immersed within the movie.
     
  45. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
    Donor
    Kentucky WildcatsBoston CelticsNew England PatriotsUniversity of LynchburgAEW

    WEll that was an enjoyable watch
     
    snowfx2 likes this.
  46. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Thought it was ok. Seemed like eggers had just finished playing skyrim before making it
     
  47. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
    Staff Donor

    This was great. Confused by the people who hated it I remember seeing around when it came out.
     
  48. I saw this opening weekend around Westwood and it was a relatively full crowd which was compromised of a lot of frat guys from UCLA and typical A24 nerds and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Surprised it did not do better at the box office, thought it could have been this current generation's 300 but they fumbled the bag. Excited for anything Eggers does next.
     
    i am a bammer likes this.
  49. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Seattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksBarcelonaSeattle SupersonicsSeattle SoundersSeattle Kraken

    Hard pass on that comparison. I’d also rather Eggers not engage in coming anywhere near that line of work.

    Really interested to see what he does with Nosferatu.
     
  50. You can pass on it all you want but a bunch of moron college kids saw shirtless guys roided up fighting each other, artistically they are not similar but these kids were not the discerning type.

    I am also looking forward to his Nosferatu adaptation