This actually is a fear of mine. I find myself doing these constant mental checklists where the kids are concerned. I’ve definitely had quick freak out about forgetting to get both kids out at daycare and one being in the car. Terrifying, life ruining stuff there. I’d never recover from it.
Also, somewhat unrelated but I work from home. I sometimes hear phantom cries and screams from the kids when they’re at daycare. Which makes me freak for a second because I think I forgot to take them to daycare. I think I’m slowly going insane from all the sleep deprivation.
I only have one kid. If this happened to me I'm sure I'd hang myself because I could never live with the guilt.
I have the same fears. Less so as my son gets older and more sassy/talkative. I get the attachment to devices and stuff, but it’s also wild to me to think that someone would definitely always remember their phone, but just forget their child sometimes.
As a non-parent I can't comprehend how easy it apparently is to forget your kid is in the car, you have them in the car for a reason and are going to a specific place.
These kids exhausting as hell and sometimes the car and toilet are your only refuge. They’ll often times fall asleep, you’ll be deep in thought and you’ll skip a step in your head. I don’t imagine I’d ever be close to doing that BUT I could certainly see how it happens.
Especially since this would most likely happen in the first year or two of life, the most of which you're mostly in this weird exhaustion trance to begin with
the reason that article and discussion sticks with me still is the tmb hardos who insisted that it was impossible to do on accident and all these parents were criminals despite numerous studies done saying the exact opposite
usually it happens because their routine is upended. One example from the Washington Post article is mom takes kid to daycare but for some reason dad had to take him in. Dads not used to it, so he just drove right past daycare exit, not even thinking about it
Hell, if I have to go somewhere thats in the same direction as work or the gym, I’ll drive right past where my original destination was just because my brain has shifted into auto pilot.
I had little sisters who were a lot younger than me so I had to watch them as babies and toddlers all the time in my early twenties when I was visiting home and it scared the fuck out of me bc those fuckers could die at any moment of any cause and they were constantly crawling or running off trying to find ways to do it
my route home is very similar if I’m picking up the kiddo and if I’m not. Sometimes my mom who is retired will come into town and stay with him during the day instead of daycare. I still drive almost all the way to the daycare every time because it’s automatically what I do every other day.
I've gotten out when the kid was asleep and taking two steps and been like ohhh yea baby. They're quiet and you're thinking about work, life stuff, whatever and you're just not paying attention.
Yep. I did it one time after work with my oldest was a baby for like minutes. Picked my kid up. Boss called and we were discussing a stressful situation for like 30 as drove around the area instead of going straight home. Kid fell asleep. I get off the phone drive home. Get out of the car with work in my mind and then after like 2 minutes I realize my kid was asleep in the car. It was a hot summer afternoon and my wife still wouldn’t be home for a couple hours. If I wouldn’t have remembered it would have been me. I balled like a baby for hours when I realized what almost happened. It’s tragic, but anyone who says it can’t happen to them is most likely wrong.
I actually know someone this happened to as well. Their first child.. good people and was tragic. How they rebounded, stayed together and now have more children amazes me. Can’t imagine what they felt and still feel.
Yeah. It was one of those things. Mom usually took kid in the morning, but dad had to that day. Same robotic drive to work and kid was asleep. He went straight to the office and got to work.. went to his car to go to lunch and found their baby. Awful awful stuff
I tell these stories in hopes people put checks in to prevent it. I was embarrassed about what I did for a few months, but decided to share with new parents I know what I almost did…. Let them know it can happen to anyone, so do something to help. My wife would always put her purse in the backseat. Yes a kid is more important than purse, but knowing you need your wallet, etc like your usual routine makes you stop and think as you are exiting the vehicle.
First congrats, but it’s a rare thing. Nothing to be scared of, but certainly something to think about and think of ways of preventing it. New parents are also extremely sleep deprived.. Also the first pregnancy is scarier. Once the child is born it all just kind of clicks and lot of fears go away. At least for us it did.
I put my lunchbox in the backseat. Wife and I also make a habit of texting each other how drop off at daycare went (did he cry, do something funny, etc)
When I'm hauling both kids around...after I get one out of the car I don't close that door until I get the second one out.
Was at a Mariners game on Monday walking around the upper deck concourse with 2 year old in stroller. Almost had a full blown panic attack about the numerous scenarios that he could fall to his death in if I shut my brain off/looked away for even just a couple seconds. Kids just hit different.
That article scared the hell out of me. my son was just born iirc and I made a reminder pop up on my phone every morning after daycare drop off because of it.
Technology in cars is definitely going to help in the future, but obviously it's a small percentage of cars that currently possess it. Our Telluride's alarm went off twice a couple weeks ago because a moth flying in the car triggered the child sensor as it detected the movement.
They have weight sensors in the front seats of cars to alarm if the person isn’t wearing a seatbelt; idk why they wouldn’t have something similar for the backseat for which the user can adjust the weight limit.
This is a ridiculous response, but probably the truth - dead babies. That fundamentally changes the calculus of risk to those companies. The risk/reward of putting in that functionality vs. the chances that a lawsuit could proceed due to a faulty sensor is just not worth it. A faulty “passenger” sensor likely doesn’t end up in death, and if it does, the manufacturer can say that no reasonable person believed it was designed to avoid that type of harm.
New cars have all sorts of backseat tech to help avoid this specific issue, so the "liability" is already there. A rear seat reminder system (upon exit) and motion sensor provides two layers of protection. A weight sensor isn't a bad idea but seems much more prone to manual error, especially if it's up to the customer to set the appropriate weight.
happened to a father in Columbia about a year ago but with his twins went to daycare to pick them up and dad was told they were never dropped off…
my ranger and my wife's bronco sport both have this. It will also alert if a seatbelt has been unbuckled. The bronco sport has a message pop up on screen to check the back seat once you turn the car off too.