Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Dale Gribble: Gun's don't kill people. The Government does. Boomhauer: Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank Hill on Christian rock: "Can't you see you're not making christianity any better, you're just making rock and roll worse?"
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank: If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank: (In response to a young Christian rock singer who said, "Hey man, Jesus had long hair!") That's because I'm not his father.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank: So are you Chinese or Japanese? Minh: No, we are Laotian. Bill: The ocean? What ocean? Kahn: From Laos, stupid! It's a landlocked country in South East Asia between Vietnam and Thailand, population approximately 4.7 million! Hank: (pause) So are you Chinese or Japanese? ************ Hank: Soccer was invented by european housewives as a way to keep busy while their husbands did the cooking. ************ Dale: Apparently this door has some kind of anti-opening device. ************ Hank: You failed English? Bobby, you speak English. ************ Cotton: Hey Hank's Wife, if you have an opinion to share, why don't you go in the kitchen and put it in a bunt cake? ************ Bobby: My dad says butane's a bastard gas. ************ Hank: Why would anyone ever smoke weed when they could just mow a lawn?? ************ Hank: America is my country and I love her. I wouldn't enter her in any way that's unnatural. ************ Tammi: Hank, don't! Alabaster's a little guy, but he'll mess you up. Hank: No offense, but he's from Oklahoma. ************ Peggy: Luanne loves you, and you have no emotion for her at all? Hank: I've got plenty of emotions. I was *afraid* she was going to hug me, I was *worried* she wouldn't leave, and I was *happy* when it was over. ************ Hank: My wife lies to me. My beer company betrays me. Americans are giving Mexicans diarrhea. What the hell is going on here?
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Dale: This is a great gun-selling location... How 'bout it Peggy? Can I sell guns at this location? I have literally oodles of guns at home. Hank: Dallas? I don't want you goin' to Dallas at all. That place is crawlin' with crack-heads and debutantes, and half of 'em play for the Cowboys.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes ************ Tammi: Hank, don't! Alabaster's a little guy, but he'll mess you up. Hank: No offense, but he's from Oklahoma. ************ lose'd again, hard.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Bobby: "That's my purse, I don't know you!" followed by a swift kick in the balls Ha dme when he kicked Hank.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Cotton: Hank, this is my Cadillac car. You know the rule... The woman can't be in it unless she's in the trunk, in a bag.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes When Bobby blows the game because he's growing roses instead of being the towel boy, they come looking for him and Dale says "Where's Bobby? I might kill him."
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Dale is gonna go get the raccoon out from under the house and he tells Hank to, under no circumstances, open the door. Dale: (Screaming and crying in horror) Hank opens the door eventually Dale: I give you one job to do and you screw it up.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes After the Texas-Nebraska game where Hank makes the winning play call for Nebraska Bobby: Is it ok that I feel like I don't wanna live anymore?
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank: You know, Debbie's place is right next to Sugarfoot's. That's a coincidence. Buck: No coincidence: I like to eat, I like to hump, and I don't like to drive. ******************** Peggy: You're 12 years old, and drinking a beer. Bobby: I didn't even like it. Hank: Now you're just trying to get me mad. ******************** Dale: I'm an Indian. This explains why I love tobacco so much and hate the Federal Government so much. ******************** Bobby: So, your name is Kahn Jr.? Kahnie: Yeah. My dad wanted a boy. Bobby: Yeah, my dad did too. ******************** Hank: I'm writing a personal check and in the memo line, I'm writing "unfair". ******************** Hank: Bobby, this is a carburetor. Take it apart, put it back together, repeat until you're normal. ******************** Bobby: Can I put a gun rack on my bike? Hank: Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to ask that? ******************** Luanne: Uncle Hank, I quit being a virgin the first time I had sex. Hank: Nobody likes a quitter, Luanne. ******************** Hank: I had no idea you could say that word on television, let alone advertise medication for it.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes most underrated animated show of all time. When I was younger I didn't understand it and thought it was dumb, but now I lose multiple times while I watch it.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank: Bobby, we've never talked about this before, but some day, I'm going to die. And when that happens, *then* you can go to cooking school. Peggy: You're 12 years old, and drinking a beer. Bobby: I didn't even like it. Hank: Now you're just trying to get me mad. Bobby: You had me at 'fruit pies'. Hank: A poodle? Why don't you just get me a cat and a sex change operation? Hank: Dallas? I don't want you goin' to Dallas at all. That place is crawlin' with crack-heads and debutantes, and half of 'em play for the Cowboys.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank: You failed English? Bobby, you speak English. I also liked a lot of the quotes from the old women he drove to Port Aransas.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Peggy ruined the show, and yet they had so many episodes with her in it.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes One of the many joys of being a parent is all the stuff you get to assemble and then dis-assemble later.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes I can't understand a word you're saying, Boomhauer...it must be the echo!
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes "Vaya...con Dios." *Bang! Bang!* "How could such a good cop become such a bad priest"
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Sure, Peggy could be annoying but she was supposed to be...she was an essential character. KOTH has become my favorite show as I've grown to appreciate it more and more. - Hank: Bobby's doing the high hurdles? Sometimes it takes him two tries to get on the couch - Hank: the problem is my dad wants to be an El Presidente level member - lawyer: and they won't let him in because he's, why won't they let him in? - Hank: because you can't be an El Presidente member unless you buy a timeshare - lawyer: so you want me to get your father into El Presidente for free? - Hank: yeah, that would be great - lawyer: I got it, why don't we slap an embargo on all of Mexico until Rich lets him in? You know, starve 'em out? - Hank nods in agreement - lawyer: I'm kidding, Mr. Hill - Bobby: is there anything fun to do around here? - Hank: Bobby there's nowhere more fun in all of America. They've got horses and tractors and people who know how to grow their own food and fix their own roofs. You want fun? You're standing in a five ring circus of simplicity and self-reliance. - Dale: based on what I know about Bill and cover-ups, I'd say the Army used him in their attempted assassination of boxing promoter Bob Arum - Bill: how do I do that? - Hank: well, with any first-rate organization, I'm sure the Army has a form you can request, fill out, and submit
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank: (describing the rodeo) It's just the kid's calf scramble. It's fun. The animals are running around without any plays or gameplans or anything. Kind of like Barry Switzer was coaching. Bobby: What happened? The last thing I remember is being kicked by a horse. Hank: Your first concussion. Now, don't fall asleep, son, both because you could die and I want to tell you how proud I am of you. I mean look at you, the bruises, dirty clothes, the smell. You're alright. Hank: I didn't tell Bobby, but I'm bringing a client to the rodeo this afternoon. I wouldn't Bobby to know a propane sale was hanging in the balance.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Can't remember the episode, context, or why it's so damn funny. Dale- That makes a lot of sense. A lot of NONsense.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes I'm your worst nightmare, I have a three-line phone and nothing at all to do with my time! not quite rolling
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank is on a road trip with his family, carefully studying a map... "We don't have to go through Oklahoma!!"
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Bobby, referring to his new sparkly tennis shoes: fine?!? They're great!
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank: you know, Vince Lombardi won five championships without ever using sarcasm. He just yelled and shoved people.
Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes Hank: Huh, I do like sourdough Peggy: I told you you did Hank: Well, I hate those pants more than life itself but I can't tell you about that because I didn't buy them