AHole Parents of Kids Sports: Awful Parents Reliving Their Youth

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Beeds07, Jun 1, 2022.

  1. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
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    This will be his 2nd spring playing. Started when he was 4. So 1 spring and 1 fall season.
     
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  2. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
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    Yeah it's redicoulous, but we like the league. They basically hit two balls and take a few grounders.
     
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  3. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes Team Mac OG
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    My guess is the tryouts are just a way to sort them out so one team doesn’t end up with all the athletic kids.
     
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  4. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    The soccer league my wife helps run names the teams every year based on real clubs. Sometimes it’s national teams, sometimes it’s big European clubs, this year is MLS teams. It’s one of the few things I’ve actually never heard someone complain about.
    Until now, my wife sent out the rosters 2ish hours ago and the emails have not stopped since. This one came to the board that oversees all the sports so I got to see it.

    It was a dad complaining that his dad is signed up to sponsor a team (which is great and thank you to him) but the grandfather thinks the team should be named after him.
     
  5. EagleDuck

    EagleDuck Well-Known Member
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    Please give in to this.
     
  6. Jack Bauer

    Jack Bauer Damn it!
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  7. Fat Drunk & Stupid

    Fat Drunk & Stupid Barning Hard
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    ".,.And now the starting eleven for your 'Cranky-Ass Grandpas'!!!!"
     
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  8. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    Tryouts for 5 year olds? What the fuck? And 2-3 year olds playing?

    :blowup:
     
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  9. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Had something similar happen my freshman year of HS playing JV hockey. We had a senior on the team who was by FAR the worst player in the whole league. Also the only senior playing JV. He’d gone all 4 years without ever scoring a goal or even getting an assist. Last game of the year against a prep school that was absolutely loaded with kids they brought in to play hockey (yeah this actually happens in Florida) and he scores what ends up being GWG midway through the 3rd period. We emptied the bench as well to celebrate with the kid. Other coach was pissed at first but it was explained to him after and he was cool. Even gave the kid the game puck. Love when these kind of things happen and the last kid can get their moment in the sun
     
  10. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    This is exactly what our 8u soccer league has tryouts for.
    Basically keeps one coach from knowing all the good players dad's or such and picking those kids. Evens the playing field.

    Best thing our league did last year was implement a 'keep em' system so that if the same coach is coaching the same age during the next season, he automatically gets any players he had on his team who are still playing in the same age group/league

    We only had 4 players carry over, I think. But having a good coach has made it very good, imo
     
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  11. Tommy Jefferson

    Tommy Jefferson Well-Known Member
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    I’ll be writing a letter to the editor requesting these events be called “combines” instead of “tryouts”
     
  12. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    We call them evaluations
     
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  13. DuffandMuff

    DuffandMuff Well-Known Member
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  14. HuskerInMiami

    HuskerInMiami Well-Known Member
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    I coached youth basketball in Lincoln while i was in school. One of the biggest asshole parents was a coach for Nebraska. His kid was the best kid on the opposing team and we ran a box and 1 to shut him down. He was pacing around waving his hat the whole game.
    upload_2023-1-31_10-2-12.png
     
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  15. Beeds07

    Beeds07 Bitch, it's Saturday
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    9138FA6F-7E02-4522-BC98-B83166248E48.png Unrelated to parents but a JV coach had a 22 year old coach pretend to be 13.
     
  16. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    Heard through the grapevine El Tiburon may have a story from today to share
     
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  17. Barves2125

    Barves2125 "Ready to drive the Ferarri" - Reuben Foster
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    I cannot even imagine how pathetic you'd have to be to do this.
     
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  18. DirtBall

    DirtBall Who Cares?
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    Is this where we talk about the Reynas?
     
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  19. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    It would take way too long to give the backdrop. Needless to say, a parent who technically is banned from attending games live decided to attend the away game we had this afternoon. His kid got fouled hard on the sideline directly in front of him and went down crying. Dad immediately runs onto the field to check him and when the ref tells him he can’t come on the field he unleashed about a 3 minute diatribe full of words like bitch, motherfucker, fuck you, etc. in both English and Spanish. A second dad comes over to tell the ref he sucks and both of them get tossed from the game. There was only a couple of minutes left anyway, so the ref decided to call the game over then and there leaving a scoreless draw instead of letting us take our free kick from just outside the box. What a shit show.
     
  20. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    We had a coaches clinic yesterday for baseball. Our group’s “coach’s coach” was a 70 year old snowbird from the Upper Peninsula. This clinic was for coaching kids under 10 and our guy admits he hasn’t done that in at least 25 years and probably won’t be very helpful.

    He then rants about how, no matter the age, parents will sign kids up for baseball and expect the coaches to teach little Johnny how to throw, catch, hit, etc. It’s not the coaches job to do that; the parents should have already shown some interest in being involved and started teaching some of those skills (which I agree with).

    “At the end of the season, I usually tell those parents to switch to soccer with the rest of the pansies because coordination isn’t Johnny’s thing.”

    :facepalm: but :roll:
     
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  21. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    My kid made the all star/tournament team for his baseball league

    I just bought him a $200 Marucci bat after he pinged away with a $40 Rawlings in spring ball

    I have entered the thread as an ahole parent
     
  22. Jake Barnes

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    Ah, some pointers then:

    - Make sure to attend no actual practices, but provide commentary to the coaches on why your son should be at “X” position.
    - Push for more games, but when it comes time for those games to be played, tell the coach your son can’t play because you have “a family trip”
    - Talk shit to the grown man umping the children’s game for $15 an hour, then laugh at him for being petty when he gets irritated.
    - Get on the coach for not providing day-to-day updates on EVERYTHING, but make sure your kid forgets his glove, bat, hat, etc. at least once a week.
     
  23. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    This is all terrible advice because I will be coaching the team.

    Also…100% accurate.
     
  24. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Also, don’t be afraid to go behind the coaches back and take all your unwarranted complaints directly to the league manager.
     
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  25. lomcevak

    lomcevak The suck zone
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    I'm coaching my son's U7 soccer team. I played soccer into college but haven't really done anything soccer related since (other than watching the games). I had to miss our first game due to a work trip and my wife said the two dudes coaching the other team were screaming and yelling the whole damn game.

    fucking ugh
     
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  26. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Oh man, you don’t even know the half of what you’re in for. Right, Jigga ?
     
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  27. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    All I want to do wrt coaching is hit fly balls to outfielders, 1st base coach, and dugout glue guy. Nothing more, nothing less.
     
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  28. EagleDuck

    EagleDuck Well-Known Member
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    This 100%. Spent the better part of a decade being exactly this guy.
     
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  29. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    That’s pretty much me. My buddy is the head coach and loves all the hot garbage that comes with it. I’m the technical guy trying to make the kids better so they gain more confidence, have more fun, etc.
     
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  30. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    - Get yourself a team jersey and hat that you wear with oakley shades. Stand right behind home plate with your fingers through the chain link fence. Shake your head every time one of your kid's teammates swings at a bad pitch or looks at a pitch down the middle.
    - Dip Spit bottle
    - Start a group chat with a small group of parents where you do nothing but talkn shit about the coach and the parents not in the group.
    - Just randomly talk about your kid's path to the show.
    - Constantly talk about how your kid made the travel team to friends and family members who couldn't give a shit about your kid's athletic acomplishments.
     
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  31. Racki

    Racki All is well on Unicorn Island
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    That's me currently, plus occasionally throw a BP session or two. Love hitting fungo bombs to the kids.

    Funny story, one of my players hit their first home run the other day. This kid does PBR events, goes to private hitting lessons and talks about exit velocity and all that other stuff. Anyways, after he made his way back to the dugout after the HR, another kid on our team goes, hey Brady about time that $15,000 your mother spent on hitting lessons paid off. I couldn't help but laugh. It was a perfectly timed zinger.
     
  32. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    I’ve gone a bit off the deep end as far as involvement goes so I have to deal with the bad eggs more than most.

    I don’t remember the last board meeting I was in where we didn’t have to suspend a coach or in 1 case a whole family. (He stole like 40k and then had parents write him checks to a fraudulent business on top of that)

    If the coaches could just understand to be there to help the kids learn and have fun it would be great.

    I ran a draft for flag football last week and legit thought one of the coaches was going to try and fight me because he had a kid marked as a coaches kid that wasn’t and I wouldn’t let him unwind the draft to take him
     
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  33. DirtBall

    DirtBall Who Cares?
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    Bust out the Fungo and just crank out moonshots left and right for them to run down.
     
  34. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    Today was closing day for rec soccer for our league. Playoffs start at U10 so all divisions below just get trophies and there’s bounce houses and raffles and just a fun day for the kids.

    A U8 player dad asked my wife what the winners get, she said it’s U8, there’s no playoffs.

    “So it’s just a participation trophy? No thanks we don’t want it”

    Few minutes later the kid comes up and asks if he can have the trophy.
     
  35. DirtBall

    DirtBall Who Cares?
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    Nope, because your dads a dick kid.

    Meanwhile my kid at soccer camp plays dead when the coach tells him he can’t play striker or goalie every game….

    [​IMG]
     
  36. portlandspartan

    portlandspartan Well-Known Member
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    I’m a sit in the outfield by myself or else I’ll murder all the other parents parent
     
  37. Butthead

    Butthead narmas, narmas

    Dad?
     
  38. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    This is me whether I’m just watching or coaching. I’ve also started talking shit within earshot of all the adults in hopes a few of them are self aware enough to realize it’s them that suck.

    No chance that happens so it’s just me talking shit about Cooper/Greyson/Smith/Henry’s parents.
     
  39. Beeds07

    Beeds07 Bitch, it's Saturday
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    They just announced that parents thrown out of baseball games now have to umpire three games. I may come back with the power of a fascist now and rule with an iron fist.
     
    #140 Beeds07, May 7, 2023
    Last edited: May 7, 2023
  40. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    it’s really just about the kids : asshole sports parents :: religion : right wingers

    8U baseball playoffs got chippy last night. Nothing worse than adult bullies not being able to handle pushback.

    We played the team with the adults from my story on the first page. These guys teach their players to tag/push kids off the base trying to get cheap outs, get in the way of runners to break up plays, aggressive/illegal base running to force teenaged umpires to make multiple judgement calls per inning, etc. They just do everything dirty to require intervention in all aspects of the game.

    I’m the dumbass who engages because I refuse to let shit like that happen. Words were had, apologies made, and “it’s really just all about the kids.”

    The good guys won and the bad guys went home fuming. This stuff gets less enjoyable by the day, but I have to stay involved to keep my kids/teams away from people like this.
     
    #141 jbr, May 9, 2023
    Last edited: May 9, 2023
  41. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    considering my son has been using this as a tactic 2/3 years he’s been on earth, I think your son has a firm grasp of the fundamentals
     
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  42. electronic

    electronic It’s satire!
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    Spoken like a true AHole sports parent.
     
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  43. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    my 4-6 team had trophies and pizza after their last game and I heard 3 comments about participation trophies from boomer grandparents. So lame. I remember being excited for my first trophy 32 years ago.
     
  44. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    I got a trophy every year I played 30ish years ago. We were never the first place team
     
  45. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
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    Same. Hate when I hear them say that. Mfers you are the ones that started it.
     
  46. Tommy Jefferson

    Tommy Jefferson Well-Known Member
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    At what point did people decide that youth sports aren’t intended for recreation and instead are the hunger games? From transgender teens playing high school sports to participation trophies, the question is always “so what?” Kids either get to feel good because they’re actually good and win, or get to feel good because they had pizza and a trophy. Shouldn’t the goal to be making the kids feel good and want to participate again the next season? They will learn a hell of a lot more life lessons being a shitty baseball player getting a participation trophy than if they quit because they don’t get any positive reinforcement and instead start their shitpoasting careers in their teens.
     
  47. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
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    maybe a hot take, but I think it's ok to have winners when you're 8 years old.

    everyone should still get a trophy though.
     
  48. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    I think it’s okay but it definitely sucks when there are coaches who act like what was described above, who get into the leagues at young ages and do whatever they can to get the best kids on their team. If you want to do that get into AAU. Growing up playing baseball little league was no doubt the lets just have fun league and AAU was if you wanted to get serious.
     
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  49. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    They stack the teams in my son's rec league. A couple teams like barely ever win. It's super fucked up. Adults doing their best to ruin what should be fun for kids