Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    How often does it end up on the bed & nightstand?
     
  2. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    My wife does this with everything. I’ve posted about it before itt and pics of the aftermath. I’ll reach for the pickles and boom, jar drops off pulling them out of the fridge. I’ve just made a habit of grabbing everything by the jar instead of the lid because it’s easier than asking her a thousand times to put the lid on tight.
     
  3. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Michigan State Spartans

    ex did this with enchiladas sauce. I shook it without holding lid. Flew off and spewed, not on me. But onto her favorite sweatshirt and shoes.

    all my fault obviously
     
  4. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Wife and her friend are supposed to be going 'garage saleing" this morning in leander/cedar park (an hour from our house)

    Wife just now got in the shower to start getting ready to go
     
  5. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Not sure why you are complaining. The later she is, the less useless shit she’s gonna bring home.
     
  6. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Where was I complaining?
     
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  7. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    Maybe stop grabbing things by the lid you idiots.
     
  8. beerme

    beerme Well-Known Member
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    .
     
    #17308 beerme, Mar 4, 2023
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2024
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  9. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Flew a little too close to the sun today wrt my don't ask, don't tell expenditure system. Wife bought what was described as a cheap headboard to connect to our metal bedframe last year. Some dudes from west elm showed up to deliver what I thought was some kind of add on. A few installation issues later I've learned that it was a $1,000 headboard and the new part is apparently a custom bed that attaches to it

    :awshucks:
     
  10. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Heavy duty bed you say?

    Gotta spend money to make money I guess.
    :wax:
     
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  11. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    My wife is a competent, safe, confident driver like all the time. Honestly a safer driver than me. Unless she’s in an unfamiliar car on an unfamiliar road, and then she locks up like a 15 year old with a learners permit. It’s really bizarre. So going car shopping today got heated a few times.
     
  12. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    My wife is a terrible car shopper, she gets locked in on the first nice one she drives and the salesman can see it
     
  13. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    This and there is no sleeping on it, seeing what another dealer can offer, etc. “car shopping” means she’s driving something new off the lot today.
     
  14. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    We looked at 6 cars at five dealers today, and another one two weeks ago. Got the last one. Her heart was set on the third one since it was her favorite color but I don’t fit in a Honda Jazz/Fit; basically if I was in a front in collision my knee would enter the dashboard.
     
  15. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I bet she hates spending money too doesn't she
     
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  16. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    She does yes.
     
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  17. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Fuck you
     
  18. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
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    Let me know if I can help, I'll make sure you get a decent deal :like:
     
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  19. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    Michigan State Spartans

    bizarro world
     
  20. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I read it as the clit at first, damn I am such a pervert

    No ragrets though
     
  21. b0ne5

    b0ne5 Well-Known Member
    Arkansas Razorbacks

    Does your wife work?
     
  22. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Yea
     
  23. b0ne5

    b0ne5 Well-Known Member
    Arkansas Razorbacks

    Then I got nothing. Godspeed to you my friend. Amazon packages show up to my house daily and our toddler’s bedroom furniture almost made my head explode when I went to pick it up and saw the price. But my wife works really hard and makes more money than me, so I just smile and tried to look at the positive.
     
  24. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Don’t diss the sugar momma who pays for your suits
     
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  25. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    I work from home 90% of the time, and my wife has her own small business that she goes to, so I take the kids almost every day since their school is the opposite direction from my wife's office.

    This morning, my wife offers to take them because she had an appointment. Great. I can get to the gym 45 minutes earlier than normal. I park at the gym, and the school is calling. "How does one of my kids already have a problem?", I wonder. It is my wife calling to inform me that she has locked her purse and cell phone in the car and needs me to come up there to bring the spare keys. She has that passive lock turned on where her Tahoe automatically locks and it annoys the hell out of me. Since her phone was right next to the keys, it interfered with the key fob's signal and locked it when she walked away.

    So me getting to the gym 45 minutes earlier than normal turned into me getting to the gym 45 minutes later than I usually do. Pretty sure 90% of my contributions to this thread have been my wife's automotive related incidents.
     
  26. TimJimothy

    TimJimothy Well-Known Member
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    If I was 45 minutes late for something in the morning, I'd end up being late to work.
     
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  27. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Wasn’t sure if to throw this in the poly thread or this one since it’s both me and the gf participating in giving the impression to MLS we have an unidentified bedwetter.

    upload_2023-3-10_0-29-26.jpeg
     
  28. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay BuccaneersMississippi Rebels

    If you double down after me knowing it's not accurate and there is wet bed when I get home......just put me in a straight jacket now I guess
     
  29. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    What does she say when asked? That's an interesting one.

    I will say that Trader Joe's the lids seemingly never fit back on well - I don't know if that's a marketing strategy to make everyone blow through product but it's certainly noticeable.

    Also you have to account for the nails situation in a bunch of instances.
     
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  30. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    I haven’t noticed their jars but I’ve been onto Trader Joes about this for awhile now. Almost nothing they sell has reclosable packaging. Sure there is some cost savings there but I’m with you it’s a deeper conspiracy to make their stuff go bad/you eat it faster.
     
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  31. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Not mine, my wife’s friend booked a week long spring break family ski vacation…except she booked it the week before her two kids spring break. Kids are getting two weeks of spring break :roll:
     
  32. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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    That’s awesome and not stupid
     
  33. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    If my wife ever wasted an entire week of someone else taking care of these little dragons, we're going to war
     
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  34. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    I think your wife’s friend may work for me.
     
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  35. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    KD?
     
  36. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    that's something I would do. It's quite an adjustment when your kid starts kindergarten and all of a sudden you have to clear any trips with their schedule.
     
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  37. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    BR, so no.
     
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  38. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    Meh, we never did that until they hit high school. They were “educational” trips.
     
  39. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    we pull him out all the time, but they only give you 10 excused ones in Alabama so you got to be creative about it.
     
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  40. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    the fact that this happened to two women within the orbit of TMB means its happened hundreds or thousands of times this year and that just brings a warm smile to my face
     
  41. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    lol I think my son currently has perfect attendance
     
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  42. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    This came up due to the Ole Miss Beard hire thread but MLS had not seen the Marshall Henderson gif until literally this morning so now is heavily debating how many shirts to make with some form of screenshot of it in addition to the "Lane is Daddy" shirts that are already confirmed.

    On a scale of 1-10 how much security will I need to hire for this #Auburn Tigers

    This is a crew of girls coming in hot for the football game this year at Auburn - I really don't even want to attend at this point due to the imminent amount of stress and obvious camera time.
     
  43. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Literally no one will care

    HTH
     
  44. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Pretty much figured that - I didn't think anyone would give a shit about the Lane one but thought there could be some potential hot-button people on the Marshall one.

    Gotta be honest - my biggest dread is if both of our teams somehow manage to be decent and it actually got any tv attention.
     
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  45. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Marshall was like a decade ago and nearly no one cares about what the fans of a lesser SEC program does
     
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  46. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Auburn is also probably the softest fanbase on earth whom try to pride themselves on being Jesus-like and accepting others into our fambuleh for a wonderful Saturday on the plains
     
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  47. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    This is the hottest of takes and I'll include my own school in that.

    But fine I'll attend also.
     
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  48. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    It's an obvious fact as pointed out in many other threads
     
  49. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay BuccaneersMississippi Rebels

    Look, I'm still working on this

    It's probably just going to be a Marshall Ole Miss Jersey with an under cut off shirt that says Lane is Daddy

    We're definitely still going to need security just to avoid several getting completely lost
     
    Dump likes this.
  50. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    WED is right; they’re super soft. They are cripplingly insecure, though. Auburn fans get really mad when you compare the city/campus to Starkville, even affectionately.