WolverineJack's take on ASOS. Now AFFC

Read the first 2 books over 3 years ago. Never started the 3rd book, joined the Army and just recently started to read the series again. Started the third book today.

Prologue: The ending gave me chills. What a perfect way to end the second season on HBO. Another note, Chett loves nothing more then kicking the hounds, probably kicked them over 70 times. We get it GRRM, you don't like dogs.

Jaime: Lots of similarities to Tyrion in a sense. Dude just doesn't give a fuck. Really enjoyed this chapter and possibly see him and Brienne becoming friends through all of this.

Catelyn: We get it, your father is dying, you think your youngest kids are dead, your husband is dead, worst mother ever. Would wish that she would just jump off of the balcony of Lord Hoster's room. Such a dumb cunt to think that Jaime and Brienne will get to Kings Landing without any trouble.

Arya: Liked the warg dream. Knowing the Nymeria and her pack killed the Mummers or whoever was chasing after them. Hot Pie cracks me up, typical fat lazy ass kid. Do hope that Gendry finds out one day that he is Robert's bastard. Kid is a beast. Interested to see if Arya makes it to Riverrun. Highly doubt it though.

Tyrion: Glad to see him stand up for himself against his father. Tywin just needs to stop being a cunt and get over his wife dying. Its been like what, 30 something years? Wonder how Tyrion is gonna get around with Shae now that Tywin will hang any whores he sleeps with. Wonder what Shae will think of his scars. Would love nothing more then to see Tyrion somehow be the cause of Cersei's death. My guess is Tywin will promise Tyrion something like Riverrun.

Davos: Fucking boss. Survivor. Fucking Medieval Navy Seal. Got a feeling Davos will try and kill Melisandre sooner or later. Don't know how but hope he is successful.

 

Sansa: Usually hate her chapters but I found this one to be her most interesting yet. She should have definitely left with The Hound when he offered to take her, only a dumb spoiled cunt would say no. Was hoping Sansa and Margaery would have lesbian sex, was distracted by that thought for most of the chapter. There isn't a better way to get back at Joffery then to steal his wife to be. Glad to see Sansa didn't pussy out and she actually told the truth about Joff to Marg and the Queen of Thorns. Funny that Sansa went from marrying a incest monster in Joff to possibly marrying a cripple. Karma is a bitch. One thing I got from this chapter is that the Tyrell's seem to be plotting something, whether it is too stop the war or take over King's Landing for themselves I do not know.

Jon: I wish that they showed the Eagle in the show. The one that attacked Ghost and was spying/tracking the rangers at the end of the 2nd book. Be interesting to see how the wildling camp will be portrayed in the show. Mance seems very intelligent. Crazy to find out that he was at Winterfell when King Robert had visited. Would like to show like a flashback in the show. Jon is a smart mother fucker too. Too early to tell if Mance trusts him yet but I predict that Jon will soon earn his trust.

Dany: Whole chapter was like a history lesson. Pretty cool to learn about Rhaegar, even though we don't know if it was all true or not. The dragons are the size of dogs now. Talk about the slowest growing creatures ever. I think that Jorah is right about Belwas and Arstan, they are more then likely working for Illyrio and I think they mean to take out Dany when given the right opportunity. Can't wait to see if she ends up purchasing the Unsullied. They sound like Spartans. Would definitely need them to take back King's Landing. Glad to see Jorah finally make a move, and Dany liked it, fucking skank. Probably will just make things more awkward for them.

 

Bran: Love reading his warg dreams. Pretty cool to have the perspective of a direwolve. There is a quote were Summer/Bran say "Four now, not five. Four and one more, the white one has no voice." Definitely talking about Ghost/Jon, can he not sense or hear his voice because of The Wall? Bran is just taking the passenger seat for now, watching from Summer's perspective but not actually taking full control. Be interesting to see how Meera and Jojen will meet up with Bran in the show, since they weren't already with him in the 2nd season. Will definitely be introduced to wargs in the 3rd season. So Bran decides that they will search for the three-eyed crow beyond the wall. I believe Jon and Bran will cross paths, maybe in their warg dreams though. Hodor was practicing with a sword, hopefully he will fight some giants. HODOR!

 

Thank you gents for clearing that up.

 

Davos: He has an infection or fever. Something is fucking him up from the inside big time. Interesting to see one of Illyrio's ships is at Dragonstone while another one he owns is being used by Dany. Was sad that Davos lost his little bag of finger bones that he had around his neck. Whether it is because of that, his sickness or the loss of his sons he is becoming more reckless in his actions. Just doesn't give a fuck anymore. All he wants to do is kill Melisandre. Glad to hear one of his sons survived and it seems that that son is close to Stannis. I wonder if we will meet Robert's other bastard in the show, Edric? Now how did the Queen's Guard/Men find out about Davos plot to murder Melisandre? Salladhar snitch? Some crazy prediction Melisandre saw in the fire? My guess is Davos will almost come to death in the dungeons and either his son will help him escape or Melisandre will pay him a visit and try to sway his views.

 

Chapter 12-19 (Jaime, Tyrion, Arya, Catelyn, Jon, Sansa, Arya, Samwell):

Was away from the computer this weekend at the beach. Read these chapters. Looks like Shae will be sticking around, Tyrion is jealous of some singer, will probably kill him. Still glad to see Varys sticking around so we can get his POV through Tyrion. Would be awesome to have POV chapters from Varys. Crazy that Arya and Jaime almost crossed paths at the inn. Probably missed each other by a day. Looks like Jon is finally going to tap that ass. Good for him. Glad to know Sansa's boobs are growing. Strange how they introduced Robb's wife in the show compared to the books. Frey is pissed, likely see lots of problems for Robb in the future. Loved Sam's chapter. Would probably do the same shit he did in his situation. Would just bury myself in snow, fall asleep and hope I die.

I usually take notes when I read but wasn't able too this weekend. Will pick it back up tonight.

 

Just realized I hadn't finished all of Samwell's chapter. Holy shit. The fat piece of shit killed an actual Other. I pray too god they don't show Others riding ice spiders like they say they do in the book. It would be cool but I would get the worst nightmares. So pretty much Obsidian (Dragon Glass) is like Kryptonite to the others. So basically my theory is whenever Dany arrives in Westeros with her dragons every one will love her cause her dragons will be able to kill the others.

 

Right, just saying if the others do make it past the wall in the future.

 

Tyrion

-Would love for Tyrion to choke Cersei, I hate that cunt.
-Littlefinger plans on seducing Lysa to take control of The Eeyrie, wonder if he has actually sexed her before.
-The decision to form an alliance with the Greyjoys is very interesting and could play a huge part.
-Tyrion would be a beast as the master of coin. Plus he would probably be inherit all the brothels, sluts all day.
-It amazes me that no one takes the threat of dragons or the wildlings seriously, I hope that comes back to bite these mother fuckers in the ass.
-Tyrion's suspicion of Littlefinger's motives I think are spot on, the weaseling fuck is always up to something.
-Love that Tywin wont budge or listen to Cersei's bitching, hope that she does end up having to marry the cripple.
-Sansa and Tyrion, very interesting. Poor Sansa but the bitch has had it coming.

 

Catelyn:

- The only reason I bother to read these chapters is to see what Robb is up too. Wish he had his own chapters.
- "This one was only the watcher. Hang him last, so he may watch the others die." Bad ass quote from Robb laying down the law.
- Catelyn is like poison, everywhere she goes she just causes trouble and causes death.
- Lysa is a cunt, just like every other Tully lady. Would be better off if they were Silent Sisters.
- Robb is a fucking man for executing Karstark, may not have been the right choice but shows others that he is not fucking around.
- Robb needs a heir, hopefully that bitch be preggers.

Jaime:

-Funny that him and Cersei got caught screwing around by their own mother.
-Looking forward to the scene were Brienne and Jaime fight.
-Funny seeing Rorge show up, he gonna rape that bitch.
-Didn't know that there were Dothraki rolling with the Bloody Mummers.
-At the end of the chapter they definitely do something to Jaime, can't wait to see what happened to him.
-Jaime is just as funny, cunning as Tyrion. Hopefully he will be getting lots more screen time on the show.

 

Arya:

-She was finally forced to bathe and wear highborn lady clothes. Sucks for her.
-Didn't get too much from this chapter, just looking for Berric.
-Got a feeling this group is gonna get murked, just don't know by who yet.
-I wonder what lies ahead for Gendry? Will he stay as Arya's companion? Who actually knows he is Robert's bastard? Littlefinger? Varys?

 

Dany:

-Sucks for The Unsullied that they are Eunuchs with both there dick and sack cut off.
-Crazy to think they feel very little pain if any at all, and they don't have any names. Talk about the perfect army.
-The Unsullied are just badass, killing babies right in front of their mothers and raising a puppy for a year then having to kill it and eat it, sounds like SERE school.
-Astapor seems like the Middle East.
-Hope they show Dany masturbating and getting pleasured by Irri in the show, if not fuck them.
-Bitch is crazy, don't just slap Jorah, he should rape her if ya ask me.
-She needs to quit bitching and just buy The Unsullied, 8,000 of those mother fuckers, pretty much just like Spartans but even more disciplined. This is a no brainer.

 

Bran:

Pretty much just a story about a crannogman fighting in a tourney at Harrenhal. Talks about a she-wolf could this be Lyanna Stark?

 

Thanks for the input guys, makes more sense now. :)

 

Davos:
-Glad to see he is alive and kicking, even though its in a shithole dungeon.
-Melisandre is a huge slut, offered the pussy to him.
-The Great Other, holy shit, didn't realize The Others worshiped something. Very interesting.
-"Azor Ahai born again amidst smoke and salt to wake Dragons out of stone." Melisandre says that this is Stannis but it is obviously Dany. Does Melisandre actually know the truth? Who is Azor Ahai? Jesus Christ?
-Davos is a good man, still loyal and honest to Stannis.

 

Jon Snow:

-Glad to see he is fucking Ygritte now, good for him.
-Like learning about the different tribes and stuff north of the wall.
-Loves eating that fiery pussy.
-So the Wildlings are going to go over the wall, wonder how the will get so many over.

 

Dany:

-Bitch is going all out, wanting to buy all The Unsullied and the trainees, said there isn't a price she wouldn't pay.
-She is willing to give them one of her dragons, big mistake if you ask me.
-She is giving them Drogon, fuck that, what a stupid cunt.
-Hell ya, you don't buy things when you have dragons, you fucking kill them and take it.
-They better not ruin this scene in the show, showing the dragons fuck shit up as well as the Unsullied do work.

 

Sansa:

-Finds out like 10 minutes before her wedding she is getting married to Tyrion, sucks for her.
-Tyrion did give her the option to marry Lancel, which I thought she would have taken.
-Can't wait to show on the show where Tyrion threatens to cut off Joffery's royal member.
-Tyrion is a good man telling Sansa that she doesn't ever have to fuck him.

 

Arya:

-Funny how one of the whores at the brothel says she is King Robert's daughter, Arya even compares her hair to Gendry's and just says lots of people have black hair.
-At the end of the chapter, they had brought in a prisoner that was a Lannister. Arya says it wasn't Jaime but she probably wouldn't recognize him without his hair.

 

Jon Snow:

-The Thenn's had never seen the wall before, amazes me but then probably 95% of Westeros hasn't seen the wall either.
-Still don't know what Jon will do, whether it's stay true to his oath or stay with Ygritte and the Wildlings.
-Had to climb a tall ass ladder, probably about 500 feet, pretty much like climbing the Washington Monument, fuck that.
-"I'm crying because we never found the Horn of Winter. We opened half a hundred graves and let all those shades loose in the world,and never found the Horn of Joramun to bring this cold thing down."-Ygritte. Is this horn the one Jon discovered and gave to Sam?

 

Jaime:

-They cut off his right/sword hand, fucking sucks for him.
-Would be cool if he got a sweet magical/mechanical arm like Darth Vader.
-They took him to Harrenhal, so he wasn't the prisoner that Arya saw being brought in.
-My gut feeling is that they will try and ransom Jaime back to Tywin but something probably won't work out.

 

Tyrion:

-Who is gonna be the heir to Casterly Rock?
-Shae doesn't care that Tyrion is married, and still wants to fuck him. Good for him.
-Looks like the singer is done for. Wonder if Shae was actually fucking him or not.
-Didn't know that Valyrian steel was so rare, Tyrion says something about only 200 blades in Westeros.
-Even Tywin knows that Tyrion still hasn't fucked Sansa, that is fucked up.
-It pisses me off Tywin and many others don't take The Wall or The Wildlings seriously. Can't wait for them to be proved wrong.

 

Sam:

-Back at Craster's place, wonder if Sam will try and help Gilly again.
-Call Sam the "Slayer" now.
-"Jon had made daggers for himself, am, and Lord Commander Mormont, and he'd given Sam a spearhead, an old broken horn, and some arrowheads." Mention of the horn again.
-Gilly had a son, sucks for her.
-Fuck ya, they finally killed that vile incest fuck. Steal all his food and womens!
-Why did they have to stab The Old Bear, fuck that shit.
-Told Sam to tell Jorah to take the black and he forgives him. Jorah gonna say fuck that shit, I wanna fuck the Mother of Dragons.
-So Sam and Gilly(with her son) are gonna make off for the wall.

 

Arya:

-The prisoner is The Hound, caught him in his sleep, bad luck.
-"So kill me, but don't call me a murderer while you stand there telling each other that your shit don't stink. You hear me?"- The Hound, bad ass quote.
-The Hound vs Lord Beric, oh fuck yes!
-Sucks that the Hound has to face the flaming sword.
-The Hound wins with brute force.
-How the fuck is Beric still alive, holy fucking shit.

 

Lady Cuntlyn:

-Lord Hoster died, about damn time.
-Trying to tell Robb to bend the knee, shut the fuck up cunt.
-Edmure is to wed a Frey without seeing her face first, that sucks.

 

Davos:

-Ser Axell can go fuck a goat.
-Davos is such a good fucking man, fucking loyal and honest to his salty bones.
-Didn't know Ned had told Robert to send Jaime to The Wall.
-Stannis makes Ser Davos into Lord Davos, Hand of the King. hell yeah.
-Looks like Stannis takes The Wall vs The Others seriously, he saw it in the fire.
-Melisandre wants to kill Edric to wake a stone dragon, very interesting.
-So pretty much Stannis and Melisandre just killed Joffrey, Balon and Robb by throwing leaches into the fire. Hmmmmm

 

Jaime:

-Even with a stump were his sword hand should be Jaime is still funny and clever as shit. Loved how he was talking to Brienne and got in the same tub as her.
-Loved how he explained even more about Aerys, fucking crazy to think he had wildfire all over and under Kings Landing. Great history lesson.
-With each chapter I am starting to like Jaime even more, after explaining all Aerys has done you can't blame him. Very similar to Stannis in the regard of choosing blood over his king.
-So Bolton is giving them back to Vargo Hoat, may not have picked up on what Vargo will do with them cause I was almost half asleep when I was near the end of the chapter.
-Wonder if word of Arya will reach Robb and Cuntlyn.