The Iron Sheik @the_ironsheik Today is National Hug Your Cat Day but for @josecanseco it is the national go fuck yourself day #teamsheikie Expand Reply Retweeted Favorite
Kirk Gibson @365imfly @JoseCanseco is a Fucking Snitch,Bitch , and a Sucka fuck you I hope you get raped by a Pack of Lions you Hoe. #dailytweet Expand Reply Retweet Favorite 2hJose Canseco @JoseCanseco @365imfly say that to my face bitch on my website you coward Hide conversation Reply Retweet Favorite
Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco I complete all of u all. Dint u all miss me and can't live without me Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco Manny asked for his release. Vlady asked for his release. Why? Playing aaa is better than justcsitting around. We should do a reality show
http://m.vice.com/read/jos-can-say-so---lets-talk-about-time-travel?utm_source=vicetwitterus Spoiler I time travel all the time and have been for the last 20 years; it’s real simple. But there are rules: You can’t travel to the future, and you can’t change history—but that’s a good thing because you wouldn’t want to wake up in a different future or past, as the case may be. The only way to time travel is in your dreams, subconsciously. To do this you must know how to control your dreams. For example, I constantly ask myself, “Am I dreaming? Am I dreaming? Am I dreaming?” If you condition your mind to ask that question every half hour while you’re awake then, after a while, you will ask it even in your dreams. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be time traveling in no time at all. I first learned the art of time traveling during my first divorce. My heart was broken, I was depressed all the time, and I just couldn’t take the pain. Somehow I realized that the pain subsided once I entered a dream state. Now I’ll do things like say, “I want to see my mom,” and boom, my mom pops up and I’m in the past. I can talk to her. I can hug her. It's very emotional. My dad just passed away about two years ago, and now I see him this way too. Or I could say, “I want to go back to high school.” Boom! All of a sudden my dream shifts to when I was in school and I had this huge crush on a cheerleader named Dawn Alba. I always wanted to go up to her and say hi and tell her how much of a crush I had on her, but I was so shy that I just couldn’t. When I time travel I’ll see her there and literally walk up to her and kiss her; you can pretty much do whatever you want. You can even fly to different spots, zooming through the air. You have to be careful when you first develop the ability to control your dreams, which largely relies on controlling your emotions. It can become kind of wishy-washy if your confidence outweighs your talent. For instance, let’s say you want to summon your favorite pet from childhood, or from another point in your life. If you can’t control your dreams properly, your cuddly kitten or loyal dog could turn into a wolf—or if you’re really unlucky a werewolf—and start attacking you. The only way I will ever be able to play in the major leagues again is through time travel, but for some strange reason it’s the one thing I haven’t been able to do. Either the bus leaves without me, they won’t let me into the stadium, I’m late to the game and miss it, or something else happens that prevents me from playing. It’s starting to really weird me out. The other night I had a dream in which Dan Duquette, the GM who signed me to the Red Sox, wouldn’t let me play because of a “technical issue.” I looked at him and said, “Listen, I want to play tonight.” He responded with something crazy like, “If you want to play, go get me vanilla Dippin’ Dots with chocolate syrup on them.” I searched everywhere for the stand, and when I finally found it and bought a cup of Dots I immediately fumbled it and dropped it to the ground. I was like, “Oh my God!” but at this point I was really determined, so I kept trying until I finally got one back to Duquette without dropping it. Then he started making all of these other crazy excuses for why I couldn’t play, saying, “Now I want this, and then I want that…” It was insane. I’ve had a similar dream about Tony La Russa and others—no one will let me play inside the goddamn ballpark. It’s the one time-travel dream I can’t control, and I have it at least five times a week. It must be a subconscious block. I’ve even seen myself as a child during some of my time-traveling experiences. Every once in a while I’ll try to make myself leave a mark on certain structure. Every so often I’ll visit the location the next day, when I’m awake, but nothing’s ever there. Sometimes I’ll even tell myself, as a child, “Listen, when you get to the majors, never do steroids.” Of course, that never works, because I still am where I am. Previously: I'm Broke and It's the Government's Fault Control the People, Not the Guns @JoseCanseco
Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco Great time at the Cardinals game last night with @the__project hope#MarkMcGwire got my poem though pic.twitter.com/p28MQWmo Hide photo Reply Retweet Favorite
FollowingJose CansecoVerified@JoseCanseco #MarkMcGwire I even apologized in the damn sky! Thanks @the__projectpic.twitter.com/qLZ0bL1S Reply Retweet Favorite
Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco i will be a damn good hitting coach someday. youll see haters! Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco Ever notice how some people can sonsomething at ease while others can't in a million years. No coincidence. Aliens exist
Came out with some new year resolutions today Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco 4. return to pro baseball as player or manager and have dinners with McGwire, La Russa, Bonds, and Selig. Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco 5. Fight Shaq in MMA cage match Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco 5. develop and launch Ponce de CAnseco a real anti aging drink Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco 6. Get elected to a important political office in the U.S. or canada to help all people and governments with there problems Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco 8. Write a third book and do a move deal for Juiced!
Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco hey buddy @barackobama dont show fear to north Koreans. I have fought them before in Japan and cant get a rematch. They are bullies crushem
Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco Should have finished off north Koreans 60 years ago but Truman wanted to keep Mac out of the white house. I would have voted MacArthur #hero
Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco hey @bluejays my knuckleball is as good as Dickey's and he will win 20 for you this year
Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco I dont think @shaq can back up his mouth. all talk. pissing me off. 400 pound pretty boy. donde estas pendejo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco here is the scaredyshaq story. Nov '11 Dykstra backs out but @shaqtweets Dana White he will kick my ass. I accept. He runs and hides. Puss
Jose Canseco will live as a woman for a week to show support for Caitlyn Jenner. http://athlonsports.com/overtime/jose-canseco-spend-week-dressed-woman-support-caitlyn-jenner…
This stuff with his wife leaving him and him begging for her to come back on Twitter is great, really shocking this is a verified real account My wife left me . Now why do I do with my life ? @DrPhil help @drdrew help us please @drjennmann please help us @ModelLeila Hi Commander Williams @astro_jeff I'm concerned mt Erebus in Antarctica is getting ready to erupt can you get some pics or video ? Always remember .The media is confused all of the time and wrong the rest of time. They live only in the past My wife and soulmate forever @ModelLeila come back
now that I'm not on my phone I'll post it, easier to follow this way since on your phone the app doesnt show who its from Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco May 29 My wife left me . Now why do I do with my life ? Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco May 29 But it's my fault Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco May 29 @DrPhil help Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco May 29 @drdrew help us please Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco May 29 @drjennmann please help us @ModelLeila Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco May 30 Hi Commander Williams @astro_jeff I'm concerned mt Erebus in Antarctica is getting ready to erupt can you get some pics or video ? Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco 24h24 hours ago Always remember .The media is confused all of the time and wrong the rest of time. They live only in the past Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco 3h3 hours ago My wife and soulmate forever @ModelLeila come back
Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco Jun 14 I did have a moment in Orioles dugout with Queen Elizabeth and Georgr and Barb bush