Facebook statuses that make you cringe IV

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Mister Miyagi, Jul 9, 2011.

  1. dukebuckeye

    dukebuckeye I’m OK with your low opinion of me.
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    [​IMG]

    lol, "chock"
     
  2. SWIMFAN

    SWIMFAN Waiting for 2016: New President, New Coach
    Donor

    how do you get chock from choke

    i really miss the poll tax, the reading requirement and fuck it, lets bring back property ownership requirement too
     
  3. Biff Bridges

    Biff Bridges The words. You are good with the words man
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    Sarah **** >Cats with Asthma support group
    Randy hasn't been feeling the greatest lately. All of a sudden he's throwing up a storm. He has been eating some different cat food other than his own. He just can't tolerate other cat food besides Science Diet Sensative Stomach.
     
  4. Biff Bridges

    Biff Bridges The words. You are good with the words man
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    Sarah ****
    I don't know who in the heck is SPEEDING and LOUD NOISE in our trailer court, but I'm about ready to get the license plate number and TURN IT INTO THE SHERIFF. ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT. I'm GOING to school, NEED to do my HOMEWORK, and also NEED my REST IN BETWEEN DAYS. I'd appreciate it if you would KEEP IT DOWN, ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Thank you.
     
    tne, wfly5 and Cornfed Buffalo like this.
  5. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Watching the Republican National Convention. Time to get educated people!

    black and gay
     
  6. OopsPowSurprise

    OopsPowSurprise Owed one ass kicking from poweshow
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    Got one from the RNC, the fuck does this even mean

    Watching Ann Romney and sorry hunny you need more people. You will not try to convince me that you and Mitt Romney can relate to working poor struggle and that you have my best interest at heart. Ladies and Gentlemen are you all awake because the DECEPTICONS are!
     
  7. Biff Bridges

    Biff Bridges The words. You are good with the words man
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    I wish this was a troll.

    Sarah ****
    Hmmm weather.com doesn't show any signs of changing weather, my left knee is a bit tender tonight. I guess see what happens. :old:

    It looks like I may have to get a dictionary for my classes. It's been 3 days since I started and already seen words that I haven't seen before, I don't know the meaning of, let alone pronounce. Hmmm. :themoreyouknow:

    What a morning already!! I woke up to a coughing husband and a cat throwing up a hairball. I wonder what the rest of the day will be like.?? :dealwithit:

    Doctor appointment went well today. He checked the IUD and surgery site and both looks good. He checked out my coughing, and gave me cough syrup. If I'm not better by Monday, he said I'll have to have antibiotics. :quagmire: :blech: :facepalm: :donotwant: :in-n-out:
     
    titsorgtfo, wfly5 and Harrison Beck like this.
  8. G46

    G46 Well-Known Member
    Florida GatorsNew York YankeesNew York KnicksNew York GiantsNew York Rangers

    I'm shocked that I'm actually able to read this, considering this person lives in a trailer park. I was expecting a Pearl-like status update.
     
  9. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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  10. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    Is it mental wellness as opposed to physical? :idk:
     
  11. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Saw this the other day and couldn't stop laughing.

    Amanda *****
    It's a world of difference when I caddy for my husband as opposed to being sold at auction for Hooters golf tourneys & doing spread eagles on the green
     
    wfly5 likes this.
  12. hensleya

    hensleya I Pick Things Up and Put Them Down
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersPGAWu-tang

    Little Shorty

    [​IMG]
     
  13. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
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    Both of those girls need to :gutta: themselves soon.
     
  14. WW

    WW kansas state: alive and well
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  15. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    Wow
     
  16. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    "Supposibly" is my favorite part because I know a few people who say it that way.
     
  17. CaneKnight

    CaneKnight FSU Private Board's Fav Poster
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    This thread is gonna blow the fuck up the closer we get to election time. I hate anyone who states that they are republican or democrat
     
  18. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    she's not from Pearl

    [​IMG]
     
  19. BearlyHere

    BearlyHere Is this thing on?
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  20. orangeonmymind

    orangeonmymind Well-Known Member
    Atlanta BravesCarolina PanthersClemson Tigers

    Pics of this uppity Hooters bitch please. Thanks.
     
    GaSouthern and TTgator91 like this.
  21. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    Ask and you shall receive

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  22. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsNew Jersey DevilsNew York Red BullsLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    I have the strangest case of deja vu going on ITT.
     
    James Harden's Beard likes this.
  23. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Those pictures just scream "holier than thou".
     
  24. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
    Donor

    Please enlarge the tiny pics...thx.
     
    DezBryant and TTgator91 like this.
  25. polo is for poors

    polo is for poors Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
    Donor

    Hmm. She is holier than thou. I am Catholic. Therefore, i shall spray my baby batter about her face and boobs as to not waste any. It's a win win for both of us.
     
  26. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    A pic of the girl's body who originally posted the status

    [​IMG]
     
  27. HOOSINSC

    HOOSINSC You're with me leather
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  28. TLAU

    TLAU Dog Crew
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    worst one i've seen to date. da fuck





    John Hogg
    46 minutes ago near Andalusia, AL ·




    • Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends?They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried… your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you. Copy and paste this as your status to show people there are people out there that care.


     
  29. Xander Crews

    Xander Crews Founding Member: Dangerous Nights Crew
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    Jesus that was just awful. And the first time I've cringed in a while instead of just laughing at poor people.
     
  30. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    T
    the fuck did I just read?
     
  31. TLAU

    TLAU Dog Crew
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAustin FC

    something real real sick
     
  32. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    She is trying really hard to compensate for the fact that no one gives a shit about her.
     
  33. NWestGator

    NWestGator peacefully coexisting amongst owls
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    Recently accepted a friend request from a half-retarded chick I went to HS with, blows up my news feed with about 15 status updates a day, always liking her own posts, changing her profile pic 10 times a day, etc ...

    [​IMG]
     
    lastsonofkrypton likes this.
  34. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
    Donor

    No surprise that someone near Andulusia starts a post with "Wanna kill yourself?"
     
    Icculus is a Bammer and TLAU like this.
  35. lastsonofkrypton

    lastsonofkrypton Man of Steel, Kal-el, Clark Kent,
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    your younger brother and best friend grow closer, as he grows older into those awkward teenage he starts to view your best friend as his older sister. They develop a bond of closeness over your death, every day they talk, they hangout, they go to movies they're starting to feel happy and then those feelings change. Those feelings become romantic and your little brother is now fucking your best friend. He fucks her everyday, never feeling sad or down because he's 15, ugly, and awkward yet he's the happiest fucking teenage boy in the world because he's consistently getting some. Copy and paste status if you want your sister to know that when she kills herself it'll be for the greater good because you'll be consistently getting laid despite being a socially inept teenager.
     
  36. Clubber Lang

    Clubber Lang High Potentate
    Donor

    [​IMG]
    can't believe someone in atlanta had the nerve to post it
    :killme:
     
  37. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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  38. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
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    I developed this (obvious, but rarely stated) theory back in college about chicks who have slutty jobs.

    The hostess that flirts with her customers looks down on the bartender who bends over the bar all night for tips.
    The bartender who bends over the bar looks down on the Hooters girl who wears skimpier clothing and, well, works at Hooters.
    The Hooters girl in the skimpy outfit looks down on the waitress working at the strip club because she works at a strip club.
    The waitress who works at the strip club looks down on the stripper because she takes her clothes off for money.
    The stripper who takes her clothes off looks down on the escort because she has sex with her clients.
    The escort looks down on the street hooker because she does it in the backseat of cars.
    The street hooker has no soul so who gives a fuck what she thinks.
     
    #238 Moxin24, Oct 13, 2012
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2016
    friedskillet likes this.
  39. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    I don't know why but this makes me want to stab her in the neck
     
    racer likes this.
  40. rodmansrage

    rodmansrage wearing a hoodie.

    Just found out for sure today I miscarried. Sad but looking forward to the future. Plus now I can have a drink.

    wtf?
     
    tylerdolphin, WW and racer like this.
  41. buffs

    buffs Well-Known Member
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    kid i went to school with posted a picture of his brand new corporate credit card earlier. :facepalm:
     
    texasraider and racer like this.
  42. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    Right click... save.
     
    racer likes this.
  43. buffs

    buffs Well-Known Member
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    its been deleted. i can only assume he lost his job.
     
    texasraider, friedskillet and racer like this.
  44. orangeonmymind

    orangeonmymind Well-Known Member
    Atlanta BravesCarolina PanthersClemson Tigers

    If females could understand the male battle for sexual purity, I believe they would spend a lot of thought and effort to make good wardrobe choices. What if 'good fashion' equals a guy stumbling into sin? Is fashion still important? Guys are responsible for our own sin, but girls really could help in huge ways by making choices in dress.


    Mother of God. This was posted by a male. :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:
     
  45. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    The rationality of every rapist.
     
    Tony Ray Bans and Moxin24 like this.
  46. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
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    Clemson Tigers

    yeah she's sexy as fuck
     
  47. 3NolesFan3

    3NolesFan3 There's no cure for being a cunt
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    Bring her to me.
     
    Steve Fuller and pearl like this.
  48. Wellen Dowd

    Wellen Dowd Well-Known Member
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    Your theory also follows an income growth chart as well. The hostess<bartender<hooters girl<strip club waitress<stripper<escort<street hooker

    Now you could argue about the street hooker versus escort. Just depends on how motivated the hooker is and how bad her coke habit is. The escort gets more per fuck though so it could be a wash.

    Anyway, I think this is more a progression of jealousy over what the next person is willing to do for money. Not necessarily looking down on the next income bracket.
     
  49. The Official MassNole

    The Official MassNole The only good Gator is a dead Gator

    With the following pic

    385606_375691212504985_639063337_n.jpg
     
  50. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
    Donor
    Clemson Tigers

    really liking the claw marks on her stomach
     
    Icculus is a Bammer likes this.