Facebook statuses that make you cringe IV

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Mister Miyagi, Jul 9, 2011.

  1. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    Donor TMB OG
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsNew Jersey DevilsNew York Red BullsLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    Couldn't he just as well interview the families of someone random who did commit suicide and have the same positive effect?
     
  2. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    Donor TMB OG
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsNew Jersey DevilsNew York Red BullsLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    Not if it's a good enough condom.
     
  3. BMR

    BMR Well-Known Member
    Donor

    That wouldn't be "look at me" enough
     
    shawnoc likes this.
  4. EdmondDantes

    EdmondDantes Both winner in league and apparently at life, haha
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersDenver NuggetsBig 8 ConferenceNebraska Cornhuskers alt

    [​IMG]



    Michael Bennett
    I'm the type of boyfriend that'll do anything in the world for my girl. She needs tampons, allow me to go and get them. She wants me to hold her purse, hand it over. She wants me to go in Victoria secret and help her pick out cute things, I'll come with her..♥ She wants to paint my nails, go ahead. She Wants me to do her hair? I'm down. She Wants me to go do stuff with her that She likes , I'll go. She doesnt want something for Christmas or her birthday, well guess what, that sucks cuz imma get her something. She doesnt want me to buy her nice things? I'm buying her it. Shes craving chocolate on her period, I'll go get her some. She has cramps? I'll give her the most amazing massage. She doesnt feel good? I'll cook her something delicious. I'd do anything and everything just to see her smile. If she has a bad night, and is scared at 3 in the morning, I'd get my ass up and drive to her house just to lay down with her to make her feel safe. Id Treat her with respect, and make her feel like the most special, beautiful, perfect girl in the entire world. Why me? Why am I the guy that gets hurt and cheated on? And then the guy who smokes pot and ditches his girlfriend to go hang out with other girls, gets the perfect girl? It doesn't make sense to me. I just wanna find a girl that'll fall in love with me, and want me, for me. Not for my money, or for my body. That's all I want. Is that too much to ask for...!? # Didn't get what I asked for for Christmas.


     
  5. HawgGood

    HawgGood Me and my best girl.

    Well, Michael Bennett is a spectacular faggot.
     
  6. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Miami DolphinsChelseaMiami Heat

    His favorite music is Nikki Minaj
     
  7. jwpearl

    jwpearl I shall fetch a rug
    TMB OG

    Nothing gets the bitches wet like a spineless walkover
     
  8. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    step 1: stop being a fucking faggot who lets women walk all over you
    step 2: see step 1
     
    Principal McVicker likes this.
  9. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
    Staff Donor
    Michigan WolverinesDetroit Lions

    Is that faggot biting his thumb?
     
  10. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    what the fuck kinda of profile pic is this?

    [​IMG]
     
  11. orangeonmymind

    orangeonmymind Well-Known Member
    Atlanta BravesCarolina PanthersClemson Tigers

    The follow up:

    [​IMG]
    Michael BennettI'm not exactly asking for a perfect girl is the thing. I'm asking for a girl that'll like me for me. That will let me be the perfect man to her. If I find a girl thats not "pretty" even though every girl is beautiful in her own way, but If she has the great personality that I'm looking for, and If she treats me right, why not?! Sure I'm not the cutest, and I'm not perfect, but I can sure as hell treat a girl perfectly. Guys that want a girl just because of what's in her pants, now that's messed up. That's not what girls are put on this earth for. They are here to find a guy, that will respect them, and treat them right, and the guy, if he is like that, should get the same in return! Sex, fuck that. Sex is just pleasure, when I could easily get more than enough pleasure just by looking into a girls eyes and seeing her smile, that's way more than enough pleasure. But then with all the things I do, trying to be the perfect man for a girl, I end up being the one that gets cheated on and/or played with like I don't have feelings. Sure people don't like me, and that's fine, I'm not to fond of everyone either, but why me?! Why am I always the one to get hurt and crushed /: I don't understand...
     
    TDCD, Serge, GaSouthern and 1 other person like this.
  12. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
    Staff Donor
    Michigan WolverinesDetroit Lions

    Ok, someone get this queer over here so we can humiliate him into suicide.
     
  13. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    sounds like a job for Hoss Bonaventure
     
    TTgator91 likes this.
  14. UM_Spoon

    UM_Spoon []_[]
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsTampa Bay LightningOrlando City

    Haven't decided if he is for real or just trying too hard at working an angle
     
  15. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsHouston RocketsDallas CowboysSneakers

  16. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
    Donor

    The bitches are feeding his bullshit.

     
  17. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    Notice one thing. Not a single one of those girls are like "hey hit me up, I'll date you"

    The sooner a guy realizes that all women want to date an asshole, the better off he'll be.
     
  18. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Miami DolphinsChelseaMiami Heat

    I fear for the future
     
  19. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Shit, he's only 17 or so right. He's got a lot of humiliation yet to endure.
     
  20. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
    Donor
    Clemson Tigers

    i don't appreciate my facebook statuses getting posted on here guys
     
  21. Tony Ray Bans

    Tony Ray Bans Most Overlooked. Most Overbooked.
    Texas Tech Red RaidersDallas Cowboys

    Yeah every one of those bitches wants him to be their gay friend :twocents:
     
    Serge, Honda Hawk, TTgator91 and 4 others like this.
  22. LeVar Burton

    LeVar Burton Knee deep in a dynasty, ROLL TIDE!
    Kansas JayhawksAlabama Crimson Tide

    "Wow this is the best Facebook Christmas ever! Thanks for all the photos!"

    :roll:
     
  23. Trip McNeely

    Trip McNeely Guys like us....we are a dime a dozen
    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsTottenham HotspurGrateful Dead

    Guarantee this guy has been cheated on by every one of his girlfriends.*

    *Assuming, of course, he has ever had a girlfriend.
     
    A Black person likes this.
  24. Lefthook

    Lefthook token Oregon State fan
    Donor

    Women can smell desperation like dogs sense fear. This kid will reek of it for years to come.
     
    A Black person likes this.
  25. BMR

    BMR Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Long time viewer, first time poster:

    [​IMG]
     
    A Black person likes this.
  26. The Dancing Outlaw

    The Dancing Outlaw (Kind Of) New Member

    Look like i picked the perfect time to get ITT. Michael Bennett might not be gay.. But i bet his Boy Friend is.
     
  27. rodmansrage

    rodmansrage wearing a hoodie.

    dude has over 10k likes for that status.

    what in the actual fuck?
     
  28. Principal McVicker

    Principal McVicker Not so New Member
    Cleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsColumbus CrewCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    bitches love sappy shit
     
    GaSouthern likes this.
  29. EagleDuck

    EagleDuck Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersPortland Trail BlazersSeattle Seahawks

    10,000 likes and not a single bj.
     
  30. jwpearl

    jwpearl I shall fetch a rug
    TMB OG

    I'm pretty sure you can cash in 20k likes for a handy at the facebook bank, so he's getting there
     
  31. TheoB

    TheoB Well-Known Member
    Los Angeles LakersLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    [​IMG]
     
  32. Xander Crews

    Xander Crews Founding Member: Dangerous Nights Crew
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami DolphinsAvengersMiami HeatBig 12 Conference

    This dude just needs to let some girl touch his penis. Maybe it'll cure the gay.

    Also, this guy is not only a virgin, it seems like he's never even come in contact with a girl. As evidenced by him offering a back massage to fix a girl's menstrual cramps...
     
  33. —

    Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Periods and pussification is the key to likes on FB apparently.
     
  34. Fred Flintstone

    Donor
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesAtlanta BravesNew Orleans SaintsGrateful Dead

    Girls don't like guys who are pussies Michael
     
  35. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    [​IMG]

    What the fuck is this madness?
     
  36. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
    Donor
    Tennessee VolunteersLos Angeles DodgersBuffalo BillsBuffalo Sabres

    this guy is a super hero. super conservative man



    Tracy Parsons

    Thursday near Gladeville, TN via mobile



    Defund Obamacare and the AARP. They are both bad news for America.



    December 21 near Gladeville, TN via mobile



    Ain't it great how Fox News is always sayin Merry Christmas? None of the other stations have the balls. Pardon the pun.







    Tracy Parsons

    December 16 near Gladeville, TN via mobile



    Merry Christmas to all you America loving, God fearing, Gun toatin Christian Conservative people. Keep up the good fight. Screw all you liberal commi anti Christian pigs.



    Tracy Parsons

    December 16 near Gladeville, TN via mobile



    We have taken Gods word out of the halls of congress and we see what has replaced it. We have taken Gods work out of our schools and we see what has replaced it.....



    Tracy Parsons

    October 30 near Gladeville, TN via mobile



    Everybody can relax now, I just voted Obama out.... He's gone!


     
  37. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsNew York GiantsManchester CityNational LeagueBarAndGrill

    I feel the need to hunt down that queer and comment on his status. If not he is gonna die a virgin.
     
  38. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
    Donor
    Penn State Nittany LionsGreen Bay PackersChelseaHartford WhalersPhoenix Rising

    Michael Bennett is just a Moses feels copycat.
     
  39. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
    Donor
    Tennessee VolunteersAtlanta BravesNashville PredatorsGrateful DeadBonnaroo

  40. AndersHolmvik

    AndersHolmvik Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Some faggot on my newsfeed is currently counting down his top 10 moments of 2012. Most involve some type of campus involvement/dance marathon bullshit. :facepalm: stop.png
     
  41. triple-r

    triple-r Not the mama!
    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersChicago CubsDenver NuggetsKansas City Chiefs

    That video is terrible and the group of people that made it are pretty terrible at what they do.
     
  42. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
    Donor
    Michigan Wolverines

    Doesn't he know Facebook did all of that for us already?
     
  43. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Virginia Tech HokiesIndiana HoosiersAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    So is Michael Bennett famous or something? We're y'all serious about 10k likes? :holyfuck:
     
  44. EdmondDantes

    EdmondDantes Both winner in league and apparently at life, haha
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersDenver NuggetsBig 8 ConferenceNebraska Cornhuskers alt

    lol

    juan is trying to holler
     
  45. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Seattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksBarcelonaSeattle SupersonicsSeattle SoundersSeattle Kraken

    The Craig fucking Pusley story that's been shared 310k times. Seriously. Kill yourselves.
     
  46. TheoB

    TheoB Well-Known Member
    Los Angeles LakersLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

     
  47. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Virginia Tech HokiesIndiana HoosiersAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    I watched the first minute... I can just imagine women sitting through that ridiculous smiling while their sig other is sitting through it cringing.
     
  48. 3NolesFan3

    3NolesFan3 There's no cure for being a cunt
    Donor TMB OG

    I really want this kid to feel how hard I can punch someone in the face.
     
  49. Honda Hawk

    Honda Hawk Well-Known Member
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Bears

  50. Honda Hawk

    Honda Hawk Well-Known Member
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Bears

    [​IMG]

    Bitch currently lives in Iowa. Im assuming she'll roll with Mississippi :facepalm:
     
    TTgator91 likes this.