One of the sergeants I work with has some anxiety disorder that apparently makes her into a micromanaging bitch. She also gets "over stressed" and will go home early. She had to give a brief twice in the last two months and got so nervous the first time she had a panic attack. Plus she just sucks at her job.
This reminded me of something I forgot. The woman who likes an out of area NFL team who thinks/acts like she is their biggest fan. We have one chick who is an Eagles fan (not from Philly or Pennsylvania btw) and the other is a Pittsburg fan. They can't fucking wait to tell you their thoughts on yesterday's game on Monday morning. Like all women "sports fans" they can name 4 1/2 guys on the team, but trust them, they live and die on Sunday afternoons.
In my experiences the "what'd you do this weekend" co worker is usually just fishing for you to ask them what they did. They want you to spend 5 minutes telling what you did so they can blab for 45 minutes about what they did. My response was always "nothing" when they'd ask what I did, after awhile they caught the drift that I didn't give a shit what they did.
If I ask someone "how was your weekend" on Monday morning its only so we can quickly move onto what I need them to do in the next sentence. I've learned people think I'm a dick if the first thing I ask them is if they did that thing I told them to do. So those conversations now go like this. Me: How was your weekend? Them: Good, actually we went to... Me: Great, did you do that thing I asked you to do? Them: {you're still a dick}
To be honest the way I type is similar to the way I talk. It differs depending on my audience. Like back in the Caribbean I wouldn't be using terms like 'mate', 'knob' and 'bastard' which adhere more to English vernacular the same way I wouldn't say 'Paana', 'Muddaskunt' and 'Fuckhole' in Britain since that's general Caribbean slang and not really understood by folk who are unfamiliar with such. Since I automatically type/speak using British Idioms to anyone outside the Caribbean spectrum, I can see and understand where he's coming from since I can get a bit heavy with it; especially while regaling a tale or going on a long winded rant. It can look a line of rambling paragraphs with looked up Brit slang chucked in for effect. I should reign it in a bit but to be honest as long as I get whatever message or retarded opinion I had out there and it's read or ignored, I've pretty much done all that needs doing on my end.
Addressing people in the third person. It's like the fucking bubonic plague at my work right now. Every other person it seems will greet one another with "How's (insert name) this morning?" I just smile and say "fine" but on the inside I want to stab them with a rusty butterknife.
Lady I work with smokes. Literally takes 5-6 10-15 minute smoke breaks a day. I have never understood the ability of smokers to get extra breaks and get paid for it.
Motherfucker co-workers who don't listen/pay attention. Working in the OR, our dept. is constantly subjected to many changes in a variety of things from standard practices to workflow to location changes of supplies and instrumentation. Mgmt communicates these changes via e-mail, weekly newsletters, and daily announcements during Morning Report...and yet every day there are several fucks who don't pay attention and when it bites them in the ass they play the "Well nobody told me about this" card. Bitch, please
Yeah that's what I figured. I assumed you just typed how you spoke and thought maybe he didn't realize it.
Used to have a lady co worker like this. Would take the same 5-6 as yours, and I would stay inside and cover for her pretty much every time. No big deal. Until one time she gets insanely pissed at me because someone pulled up, and I looked at her to take care of him considering I have done it literally every single other time she has been on a smoke break, and she had to out her cigarette to go take care of him before continuing to inhale fucking cancer 5 minutes later.
Start making up shit about having 3somes with fat girls or punching strangers in the face for the hell of it. Make up enough crazy shit and people will quit asking you what you did.
Guy that works next to me is a frat douche who says "bro" at the end of every sentence and will either fist bump you or walk up and gently punch you in the stomach a few times. What makes it worse is that he's in the pre-law fraternity at UCF so he's really not even in a frat. Oh and he's a pathological liar, ie. his ex girlfriend used to dance with Ariana Grande so he's met her a few times, he got a 34 on his ACT, claims to have played football, basketball, soccer, baseball, wrestling, soccer, and bowling in high school and would have gone to West Point on a soccer scholarship until he hurt his knee. Mind you, he's a fat Middle Eastern kid. Basically does shit to try and fit in but it makes it really awkward and annoying. He's a faggot that thinks every loves him but realistically we all abhor him
fat paralegal that sits by my desk is loud as fuck every damn day. has a gross tramp stamp. takes personal calls all damn day. one time she went to complain at jimmy johns because the delivery guy added one dollar tip to her order. I'm pretty sure she got the guy fired
I've only seen a few posts of his and it seemed like it was accepted he was British. Thanks for the tip
It's kind of ironic when I think about it. Sports and Music are the two things I'm probably the most into. But they are also my two least favorite things to talk about with my coworkers.
I work with a girl who will say "actually", 3-4 times a sentence. Not sure if I've already posted this or not. Ex: "Actually what we can do is actually get your account number and send the payment to them and they'll actually process the payment for you"
Heard in our breakroom after every UGA loss: "Who do we blame for this loss where we scored 45 points?" "Has to be Bobo (former offensive coordinator)."
This should be fun. Obese guy at work who will either have 4 bologna and mayo sandwiches for breakfast or make a trip to McDonalds and stink up the whole office. He is nice about it and always asks if I want something though This is also the same guy that will have 20 min in-depth discussions about such quality food establishments as Cheddars, Pizza Hut, and KFC. He also talks about Wrestling in the same manner most of us discuss college football Lady in the cubicle next to me is constantly taking personal calls at decibal levels that border on unnatural. This is the same lady who is always talking about how much exercise she does and how she can't lose any weight...she eats Bojangles every day for lunch. BUT SHE DOESNT EAT THE BISCUIT GUISE!
When I used to live the cubicle life, there was a lady that would hum constantly. I wanted to shove a pencil in my eye.
First hour and a half of work has been spent discussing how to surprise the girl returning from maternity leave. I got scolded for saying "she should be surprised enough that she has a job to return to". Disclaimer: all the shit we needed her to do before leaving got pushed to me
Agreed. Most of my coworkers are new money Duck fans who expect Oregon to win every game by 70. The guy I share an ofc with is big into 80's British metal and whenever I go into an Operating Room, we are at the mercy of the surgeon or anesthesiologist who pretty much play shit like Jack Johnson or Mumford & Sons
The one-upper. If you won the lotto, she won it twice. If you were really sick, she was way sicker. If you had a difficult patient, (I work in healthcare), hers was way worse. All the time, pretty annoying. Actually has led me to pay extra attention to make sure I listen to people and try to ackowledge them with a thoughtful response instead of relaying it back to an experience I had. Because that shit sucks.
For whatever reason someone puts on Family Feud in the lunchroom everyday at noon. I have no problem with that - the show can be amusing at times and everyone can relate to it, plus there's not much else to put on during that time slot. However, some of the guys on my floor absolutely howl at some of the things Harvey or the contestants say, where most normal people would simply smirk or lightly chuckle. I remember some Indian guy almost peeing his pants over the answer "pornography" for the question "what would someone hand you at a sketchy house party". If Family Feud amuses you that much than you must live a happy, positive life with lots of laughter.
The Monday after a loss is the worst. I would get over the loss around mid Sunday, only to have people bring it up Monday morning and talk about it
Same thing at the movies. They put up a Madea trailer and people are rolling in the aisles. Makes me think I'm taking crazy pills.
I'm just glad we're all the cool guys at work. It makes me feel better about spending so much time on this site.
Fucking gross. I think I could handle most of the stuff posted itt but I would have to say something to that guy.
I timed Asshat's smoke breaks for a full 2 weeks last year. I had the whole floor in on it so when he got up someone would im be "up" or "down" when he came back in case I missed it. I can't find the original totals, but it he was at his desk on average only like 40 something percent of the time he was here.
Today is moving day. Our floor is being moved to another floor. She-Asshat has already claimed her "window" seat. Well, the A/C vents go along the window and she gets cold so she duct tapes them, thus fucking up the air for the whole area. Friday we had building officials here and they saw it and made her take it down. As soon as they were gone she got right back up there and taped it again. I'm just really hoping she tries it on the new floor because I really want to call her out on the office not being her trailer.
In one spot of our building there are cubicles where I used to work. The ladies there now have some kind of cardboard contraption with packing tape hanging from the ceiling. We have to wear ties when it's not summer. These ladies are wearing short sleeve blouses, EVERY FUCKING DAY. Wear fucking long sleeves. Bring a fucking jacket. Don't ruin the AC for everyone else in the goddam room.
I don't see how this is possible. She's/they're fucking up conditions for everybody. She/they should be killed.
Yep. Bitched about the same thing. Put a jacket on because I can't take clothes off. This other lady over there has a space heater blaring all day under her desk. Completely against building code but doesn't care. She wears jackets in 90 degree heat so it's unbearable by her. It's just those 3 all by themselves because no one will sit by them. Asshat and Space Heater got shafted in the move. Have to have even smaller cubes and they sit right in front of their managers office. Seeing the joy sucked out of his face when every one else got larger cubes was awesome. He was so pumped only to have his hopes crushed. I wish I could bottle the type of joy that brought me.
No doubt in my mind at least one of these women brings so much crap to work every day that it requires a suitcase.
I work in logistics and so things don't go as planned majority of the time. So I spend a lot of time making changes and putting out fires. My co-worker blows up everytime something doesn't go as planned. Muttering under his breath, stomping his feet, slamming phones. I wait everyday just to see what that one thing is that pushes him over the edge.
Not a huge deal but I hate taking a work dump and having someone knock on the stall and violently shake the damn door trying to open her up, and after they realize that yep, it's locked, they ask if anyone is in there
Lady who sits next to me showers in perfume/scented lotion every hour or so. Current fragrance must be hamster cage
This made me irrationally mad. My phone may as well not have a handset. Although I can see how it's a dick move if you are in a cubicle or something.