it's like walking through a petting zoo, except all the animals are hopped up on bath salts and haven't been fed in days. they may look cute and friendly, but one false step and you're being torn to shreds before you even know what the fuck happened.
Wife on the phone in the other room. her: Babe, who’s the president? me: Donald Trump her: no, not Donald Trump, the one on the west wing
At least she didn’t ask who’s president on 24 because that’s like a fifteen minute conversation about succession
Got my wife a spa gift certificate. She booked an appointment a few weeks ago. Yesterday I got the reminder text.
If you're here to say that you *wouldn't* vote for Jed Bartlet you can self-ban yourself from this board
holy shit I wish I could get my wife to cancel one of her saturday spa/hair/nails/chiropractor/probably just cheating on me appointments that easily. She notifies me maybe three weeks in advance during a fragmented stream of texts while I'm at work and my reminder text comes when she puts one of the kids in my hands and goes to get ready. I think I'd have to fake a work emergency complete with putting on a suit and leaving the house to get her to cancel anything.
Though I miss on demand pussy I don't, by any stretch of the imagination, miss this shit. Got me all triggered now.
CUgator i have to applaud you on the response at the end GO GET THE MASSAGE. If you would’ve tried to explain to her that you really didn’t mean it the way she took it, it would’ve been another 20 min conversation with a wall.
Homie, you win the thread. The lack of cursing on your part also points to likely sainthood. I would have lost my grip. Good on ya.
You should start to document anything that happens in your life, get around 500 pages worth of content and then present it to some executive working for Netflix. Ray Romano had a show for years and Debra was definitely not as funny as your wife
This isn’t really responsive to the thread title but a fun bit I did recently. We were watching Mrs Doubtfire and my wife was playing on her phone through most of the movie. Every 20 minutes or so, I’d look at her and say “wait! Robin Williams IS Mrs Doubtfire?”
let’s stone this fucking asshole, I always wondered if I could do this type of barbaric act. The answer is yes
We went over this a few months back guys, remember, when I told I never seen Top Gun and you lost your collective minds.