Trumpocalypse: No hanky/lanky

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by GoodForAnother, Mar 22, 2017.

  1. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    They read it wrong and did nothing citing their massive collection of peat tapes that are in private collections.
     
  2. BellottiBold

    Donor
    Oregon Ducks

    There was a gina haspel gang of 8 briefing yesterday apparently
    :dubioustrump:
     
    slogan119, Lenin and Crepeswithasmile like this.
  3. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
    Donor
    Utah UtesArkansas Razorbacks

    Bugger offf Eric
    Eric Trump rages against Scottish lawmaker for suggesting president’s family engaged in money laundering


    President Donald Trump’s son Eric is attacking a Scottish Green Party leader after he called for an investigation into the money behind a land purchase.

    Lawmaker Patrick Harvie “said there were reasonable grounds for suspecting that the US president, or people he is connected with, ‘have been involved in serious crime,’” said The Scotsman in a report.

    Scottish publication “The National” quoted the younger Trump attacking Harvie as “an irrelevant and spineless politician.”

    During the weekly questioning of leaders, Harvie explained that there were still “big questions” over Trump’s business dealings.

    “The purchase of the Menie Estate and the Turnberry golf resort were part of Trump’s huge cash spending spree in the midst of a global financial crisis, while his son was bragging about ‘money pouring in from Russia,'” he said. “The US House Of Representatives has heard testimony that states: We saw patterns of buying and selling that we thought were suggestive of money laundering.”

    “The testimony went on to express particular concern about ‘the golf courses in Scotland and Ireland,'” he added.

    The government has the power to investigate why Trump’s “known sources of income do not explain where the money came from for those huge cash transactions,” he explained.

    But the president’s younger son called the comments were “disgusting,” and said that they were made without any evidence, and “reckless, irresponsible and unbecoming for a member of the Scottish Parliament.”

    “An irrelevant and spineless politician, Mr Harvie has long expressed deep-seated animus toward the Trump Organization, its principals and its projects, making wildly inappropriate allegations to advance his own political agenda and gain attention,” the president’s company said in a statement. “Over the past decade, the Trump Organization has invested hundreds of millions of dollars in Scotland while creating thousands of jobs.”

    “Mr Harvie is a disgrace to the Scottish Parliament,” the statement continued. “His conduct does not serve the best interests of the Scottish people and he should be admonished and sanctioned for his conduct. We demand that he immediately retract his libellous statements failing which we will hold him fully accountable.”
     
  4. NYGator

    NYGator Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida GatorsNew York YankeesNew York KnicksNew York GiantsNew York IslandersNew York City Football ClubTottenham HotspurUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    S
    So basically he heard something about soda and socialism somewhere and has formed an educated opinion.
     
    Prospector likes this.
  5. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Atlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAvengers

  6. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
    Staff Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksNew Orleans SaintsTiger WoodsBarAndGrill

    Give that man (who doesn’t exist) a medal of freedom
     
  7. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideLos Angeles LakersDallas CowboysSneakers

    that man would be a goddamned hero, you know, if he real and not completely made up by a mentally unwell fat fuck of a liar.
     
  8. joe-

    joe- yesterday is a hard word for me
    Donor TMB OG
    Kansas City RoyalsDSA

    this must’ve happened during trump’s private time when he’s allowed to interact with visitors I believe him
     
    boone, Lenin and Crepeswithasmile like this.
  9. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
    Donor
    Utah UtesArkansas Razorbacks

    I love these. Keeps me from having to watch
    [​IMG]
    The 31 wildest lines from Donald Trump's self-congratulatory coronavirus press conference

    Analysis by Chris Cillizza, CNN Editor-at-large
    Updated 2:09 PM ET, Thu February 27, 2020

    (CNN)While many Americans were sitting down to dinner on Wednesday night, President Donald Trump stepped into the White House briefing room to give the country an update on the novel coronavirus and its spread across the globe.

    Trump delivered an opening statement and then took questions for almost an hour. And, as he does, the President veered into a wide variety of topics even while stretching the truth to the breaking point.
    I went through the full transcript; the lines you need to see are below.

    1. "We have, through some very good early decisions, decisions that were ridiculed at the beginning, we closed up our borders to flights coming in from certain areas, areas that were hit by the coronavirus and hit pretty hard."
    The key thing about the coronavirus -- and what Americans need to know and do about it -- is apparently that Trump was right about it from the start, even though some people ridiculed him. And away we go!
    2. "A lot of people thought we shouldn't have done it that early, and we did, and it turned out to be a very good thing."
    Again: Trump wants you to know he was right. Others were wrong. This is very important.
    3. "Because of all we've done, the risk to the American people remains very low."
    Quantifying what "very low" means from a risk perspective is tough. But it is worth noting that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said earlier this week that the spread of coronavirus in the US is inevitable.
    4. "We are ready to adapt and we are ready to do whatever we have to as the disease spreads, if it spreads."
    "We expect we will see community spread in this country. It's not so much a question of if this will happen anymore, but rather more a question of exactly when this will happen and how many people in this country will have severe illness." -- Dr. Nancy Messonnier, director of the CDC's National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases.
    5. "We started out by looking at certain things and we've been working with the Hill very, very carefully, very strongly."
    "Looking at certain things," you say? Verrrry intriguing. (Nota bene: Trump is almost certainly working from a prepared statement here.)
    6. "And I think we have very good bipartisan spirit for money."
    "Bipartisan Spirit for Money" is going to be the title of my memoir.
    7. "And again, we've had tremendous success -- tremendous success beyond what people would have thought."
    The presumption here is that people had thoughts about how the US would deal with coronavirus. And that we have far exceeded those expectations. Which is weird.
    8. "One instance where we think we can be -- it's somewhat reliable, it seems to have gotten quite a bit smaller."
    In which the President of the United States suggests the outbreak in China is slowing -- citing a "somewhat reliable" source. Good times!
    9. "The vaccine is coming along well. And in speaking to the doctors, we think this is something that we can develop fairly rapidly, a vaccine for the future and coordinate with the support of our partners."
    "At the earliest an efficacy trial would take an additional six to eight months. So although this is the fastest we have ever gone from a sequence of a virus to a trial, it still would not be any applicable to the epidemic unless we really wait about a year to a year and a half." -- Dr. Anthony Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases at NIH, shortly after Trump made his claim.
    10. "But we're very, very ready for this, for anything whether it's going to be a breakout of larger proportions or whether or not we're -- you know we're at that very low level."
    [nods head very slowly]
    11. "The -- John's Hopkins I guess is a highly respected great place. They did a -- a -- a study, comprehensive. The countries best and worst prepared for an epidemic. And the United States is now -- we're rated number one."
    Boom! We're No. 1! We're No. 1!
    12. "He's very good and I think -- and he's really very expert at the field."
    What infectious disease specialist is the President referring to here? Vice President Mike Pence! Who is not an "expert" in the field!
    13. "Well, I don't think it's inevitable. It probably will. It possibly will. It could be at a very small level or it could be at a larger level."
    The CDC says the spread of coronavirus in the United States is inevitable. Donald Trump says it isn't. Which do you believe?
    14. "I'm the President of the United States. I'm not a President of other countries."
    Fact check: True!
    15. "I'll be going to meetings quite a bit depending on what they want to do and what message we want to get out."
    Uh huh.
    16. "But we've done really an extraordinary job, when you look at a country this size with so many people pouring in, we're the number one in the world for the people coming into a country by far."
    Again, Trump wants the big takeaway here to be that he is doing an amazing job -- whether or not coronavirus spreads widely in the US.
    17. "I think they look at the people that you watched debating last night, and they say, if there's even a possibility that can happen, I think it really takes a hit because of that."
    In which the President says that the reason the stock market is tumbling isn't just fears of the coronavirus' impact on the economy (it is) but rather because people didn't like what they saw in the Democratic debate on Tuesday night. Cool story bro!
    18. "So you know, my attitude, if Congress wants to give us the money so easy -- it wasn't very easy for the wall, but we got that one done."
    So, just to be clear, Trump declared a national emergency at the border in order to seize money already allocated for other uses so that he could begin construction of the southern border wall.
    19. "And again, when you have 15 and the 15 within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero, that's a pretty good job we've done."
    One wonders whether Trump has injured himself with such aggressive back-patting.
    20. "I'm leading everybody, we're doing great."
    Yeah, this all checks out. Doing great!
    21. "She's trying to create a panic and there's no reason to panic because we have done so good."
    Just the President accusing Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi of trying to create a panic. Also worth noting: Trump thinks his administration has "done so good" on dealing with the coronavirus.
    22. "When I mentioned the flu, I said -- actually, I asked the various doctors, I said, is this just like flu? Because people die from the flu. And this is very unusual."
    OK, so Trump has now learned that coronavirus is not the flu. So, that's something?
    23. "But we have it so well under control. I mean, we really have done a very good job."
    Yes, I think you may have mentioned that.
    24. "I think the financial markets are very upset when they look at the Democrat candidates standing on that stage making fools out of themselves."
    Trump, again tries to tie the stock market drop to the Democratic debate. There is, of course, zero evidence to back up this claim.
    25. "It's a little like the regular flu that we have flu shots for. And we'll essentially have a flu shot for this in a fairly quick manner."
    [narrator voice] We won't.
    26. "When somebody sneezes -- I mean, I try and bail out as much as possible when there's sneezing."
    Honestly, same.
    27. "Ebola, you disintegrated, especially at the beginning."
    This is, um, not a medical definition of the effects of Ebola -- just in case you were wondering.
    28. "This is a flu. This is like a flu and this is a much different situation than Ebola."
    But you just said this isn't the flu? Right?
    29. "It'd be very easy for me to say, you know -- it doesn't matter what I say really."
    So, well, yeah.
    30. "There's a chance that it won't spread, too, and there's a chance that it will."
    So you're saying there's a chance ...
    31. "So far we've done a great job."
    This feels like a good place to end.
     
    GuyOnA_Buffalo likes this.
  10. Andy Reocho

    Andy Reocho Please don't get lost in the sauce
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Kansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsNewcastle UnitedBig 8 ConferenceFormula 1

    [​IMG]
     
  11. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Atlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAvengers

    Fuck Chris Cillizza
     
  12. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
    Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesSwansea

    “I’m against authoritarianism”

    - Man voting for Donald Trump.
     
  13. joe-

    joe- yesterday is a hard word for me
    Donor TMB OG
    Kansas City RoyalsDSA

    another tight and insightful article from buzzfeed cillllizzizizzia
     
    Tobias, Lenin, BrentTray and 2 others like this.
  14. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersChicago CubsPittsburgh SteelersPittsburgh PenguinsNebraska Cornhuskers alt

    Likely the latter two
     
  15. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    I have little doubt in my mind that the Democrats will fuck this up so badly it will ensure Trump winning.
     
    Jax Teller and BudKilmer like this.
  16. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    :laugh:

    We aren't going to get shit for information. We're basically China.

    This is embarrassing
     
    ARCO, DollarBillHokie, Tobias and 8 others like this.
  17. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
    Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesSwansea

    I’ve been staring at this tweet for 2 minutes trying to make sense of this world.

    And I just can’t.
     
  18. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideLos Angeles LakersDallas CowboysSneakers

    you and me both.

    fuckthisgayearth.gif
     
  19. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
    Donor TMB OG
    South Carolina Gamecocks

    I only recognize one Buffy and her name is Sarah Michelle Gellar.
     
  20. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsHouston AstrosHouston RocketsHouston Texans

    DOW down 1200. You really hate to see that for the first President in history who has used the stock market as a gauge for how the economy is performing.
     
  21. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
    Virginia CavaliersDallas CowboysTiger WoodsLos Angeles Angels of AnaheimUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    Trump’s big beautiful stock market.
     
  22. chuckmasterflex

    chuckmasterflex Attack and dethrone God
    Donor TMB OG
    Tennessee VolunteersUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamLiverpool


    If we infect 10,000 people intentionally with coronavirus it will appease the Stock Gods.
     
  23. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    "I'm sorry, did you say Ted Cruz?"
     
    Lenin, BudKilmer and Cawgs or Gie! like this.
  24. portlandspartan

    portlandspartan Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Although it’s impacting my portfolio really hard, at this point I’m rooting for it. Can only help get him out.
     
  25. Hatfield

    Hatfield Charlie don’t surf
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksWashington NationalsFulhamTiger WoodsGrateful Dead

    Going to be very interesting to see how the “but the economy” Trump-supporters rationalize voting for him in Nov. if the stock market/economy/etc. is flailing.
     
  26. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
    Donor
    California Golden Bears

    ITS NOT HIS FAULT
     
  27. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Detroit LionsDetroit PistonsMichigan State Spartans

    Im cheering on the collapse of the Dow and I don’t care what it does to my portfolio. It’ll come back after we re-establish balance in the economy
     
  28. $P1

    $P1 Ball State #1
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesChicago CubsLos Angeles LakersChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksWest Ham UnitedBall State Cardinals

    IT'S NOT FAIR, WE HAVE TO POSTPONE THE ELECTION
     
  29. timo

    timo g'day, mate
    Donor
    Penn State Nittany LionsPittsburgh SteelersPittsburgh PenguinsTottenham HotspurPittsburgh Pirates



    *posted for the trump cartoon
     
    #311231 timo, Feb 27, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
  30. Truman

    Truman Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Missouri TigersSt. Louis CardinalsChicago BullsSt. Louis BluesEvertonBook Club

    I’m fairly certain Iranian Shiites are encouraged to not take the pilgrimage to Mecca anyway. So it probably fits in w their propaganda
     
  31. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Atlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAvengers

    yep, my portfolio is getting pummeled but I’ll take short term losses for long term gains
     
    Blu Tang Clan and Tug like this.
  32. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I'm not withdrawing anytime soon. It's gonna hurt for those boomers, though. Fuck 'em.
     
  33. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Atlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAvengers

  34. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Atlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAvengers

  35. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Detroit LionsDetroit PistonsMichigan State Spartans

    Buy when it’s down
     
    Blu Tang Clan and BudKilmer like this.
  36. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    Donor TMB OG
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsNew Jersey DevilsNew York Red BullsLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    But low, sell high. It’s so simple. Why isn’t everyone rich?
     
    Prospector and Tug like this.
  37. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Detroit LionsDetroit PistonsMichigan State Spartans

    Im going to have more money than Bloomberg by the time this market starts going back up.

    I’m also going to run for President. My goal is to be the first presidential candidate to call someone a stupid piece of shit during the debate
     
  38. chuckmasterflex

    chuckmasterflex Attack and dethrone God
    Donor TMB OG
    Tennessee VolunteersUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamLiverpool

  39. TrustyPatches

    TrustyPatches Life is is a bunch of ups and Caleb Downs
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideChicago CubsNew Orleans PelicansWu-tang

  40. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsHouston AstrosHouston RocketsHouston Texans

    Gonna really brainwash my comrade kids now.
     
    AlternativeFactsRule likes this.
  41. Mister Me Too

    Mister Me Too Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesNew York MetsNew York KnicksNew York Jets

    Don’t forget:

    Rooting/voting for your grandkids to get kicked off their health insurance to own libs.
     
  42. bertstare

    bertstare Non-hick Bert
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysOrlando MagicTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Cheering against middle class America because you hate the President. Lol you can’t even make this up
     
  43. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Detroit LionsDetroit PistonsMichigan State Spartans

    please define middle class America after you’re done sucking my dick
     
  44. cutig

    cutig My name is Rod, and I like to party
    Donor
    Clemson TigersNebraska CornhuskersCarolina PanthersKansas City Chiefs

    Is it painful?
     
  45. joe-

    joe- yesterday is a hard word for me
    Donor TMB OG
    Kansas City RoyalsDSA

    so that explains all of her bad opinions
     
  46. TAXTAXTAX

    TAXTAXTAX Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida State Seminoles