Lawyer thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Jax Teller, Apr 8, 2015.

  1. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I think it totally depends on the witness and the case. :twocents:
     
  2. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
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    Get your nuance and reason out of here.
     
  3. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    I like to shake a giant dildo in my hand while asking the witness in a loud voice, "ARE YOU AWARE OF THE PENAL CODES IN THIS STATE?"
     
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  4. Gallant Knight

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    just had a status conference for a case in el paso. rescheduled to august 2021. but harris county is going to start next month. for sure
     
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  5. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
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    Motivation level this Friday afternoon is at about 10% Possibly lower. Hard to gauge when it gets to such low levels.
     
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  6. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
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    Will magistrates let Plaintiffs get a rebuttal witness deadline in the case management order in yalls jurisdictions? I asked for one yesterday and the judge wouldn't give it to me.
     
  7. ukcats8

    ukcats8 smugapari
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    I hated depositions where defense counsel's entire focus was to prepare motions to strike. The motions never work, and 75% of the deposition being related to bullshit rather than the case just kills me inside. I get why they do it, but when it's obvious that the expert is legit, it's annoying. Had a case where we gave defense counsel a 50+ page opinion disclosure written entirely by our expert. We didn't edit it. Instead of going over the details of the disclosure during the deposition, she was hammered for about 6 to 7 hours on everything but the case. The hearing to strike lasted 20 seconds. Good billing I guess.
     
  8. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I mean, is there any other reason?
     
  9. Bricktop the white

    Bricktop the white Well-Known Member


    I had a plaintiff's lawyer take a two hour defendant depo on a case where our client rear-ended the plaintiff.


    I don't see how it would take more than 5 minutes to get her to say "i couldn't stop in time and hit the plaintiff".
     
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  10. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    Agreed. And the style you have at the beginning may have to change depending on the witness. It just totally depends.

    I once talked bowling with the president of a local bowling league for 10 minutes before abruptly ending that conversation with, "So anyway, did you run that red light?" And he was as nice as can be in saying he did.
     
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  11. (Z)

    (Z) Well-Known Member
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    I mean there are background questions you need to ask in case you’re heading to trial. I practice in some small counties where lots of people on the venire are going to know the parties, and often won’t admit it without you dragging it out of them, so you better know a good bit about the background of the other side.
     
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  12. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    The most fun deposition I’ve ever taken was in a tractor-trailer counterclaim case where an excellent plaintiff’s lawyer and I buttfucked a truck driver for 8 hours. I used ~3 on damages just because my co-counsel had slayed his ass so bad on liability for 5. He’d claimed all of these personal property items as damages that I got him to agree were all on his dashboard by the end of it. It was borderline performance art.
     
  13. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    He claimed he lost his log book in the accident, so my last question was “I guess your log book was on the dashboard too?”

    “Yes sir.”
     
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  14. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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  15. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Florida Gators

    Need a recommendation in Dallas area. Just a consult, I’m not sure if there is a case but some bouncers beat up a guy I know pretty badly at a club so he wants to talk about possible options.
     
  16. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Gallant Knight will drive up there only to find out your friend isn’t real
     
  17. Gallant Knight

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    Fml

    at least I’m not one of the idiots who wired the guy money
     
  18. Big Meech

    Big Meech I like turtles
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    What did your friend do to provoke them?
     
  19. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    According to him, a customer tried to take his wallet. The bouncers all knew the customer. I don’t feel like texting out all the facts, just wanted to give my buddy a name/number.
     
  20. harvey birdman

    harvey birdman Ha ha! Last laugh.
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    Didn’t get the job. Have another interview lined up though. Staying positive.
     
  21. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    Heard a hilarious set of facts today.

    Small suburb in Colorado outside of Denver/Boulder. Volunteer fire department responds to a fire at a liquor store. Above the liquor store is a dwelling.

    They put it out (not sure how much burned down, or who called the fire department).

    The owner of the liquor store tells the fire department he is grateful. As a way to repay them, he says "here, take some whiskey for your trouble."

    Not sure if he handed it to them or if they grabbed it themselves.

    Moments later, one of them cracks it open and either smells it or drinks it.

    Turns out the bottle contained gasoline.

    Evidently the liquor store owner hired someone to set fire to his building;

    Charged criminally for arson and attempted insurance fraud.
     
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  22. Gallant Knight

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    just went to lunch with a chiro who has never done a depo before to let him know how it would go.

    he does 90%+ PI

    said he averaged 30 new patients a month for last 10 years. Has had 6 over the last two months.
     
  23. Gallant Knight

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    lol what in the world
     
  24. (Z)

    (Z) Well-Known Member
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    Oranjello , got a CARES act question, but I can't PM you. Send me a PM.
     
  25. harvey birdman

    harvey birdman Ha ha! Last laugh.
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    Got the other job I wanted more since it’s in my current city :dennard:
     
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  26. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    I'll never understand lawyers filing motions that they'll certainly lose, or making statements that are verifiably false. Some lawyer just filed some crap, I dropped receipts, and then he proceeded to get reamed by the judge. Things are looking prettayyyy prettayyyy good when a judge lectures opposing counsel about his oath as a lawyer.
     
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  27. harvey birdman

    harvey birdman Ha ha! Last laugh.
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    From what I’ve seen, some do it for the extra billing, others due to fear of malpractice, and others because they really think they’ll get away with it.
     
  28. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Sometimes you have to file shit you know you'll lose to protect your record. Now, making false statements is an entirely different animal.
     
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  29. Gallant Knight

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    A defense lawyer in Houston has tried to get treating docs struck in every case this year. He's lost every single time. Probably billed a few hundred hours though.
     
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  30. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    True true. This case is actually in arbitration, so I'm pretty happy that the finder of fact and awarder of damages basically just called the other side a bullshitter.
     
    wes tegg likes this.
  31. Brandon Chicken

    Brandon Chicken Chow Time
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    I’m actually amazed at how far some of our local judges let lawyers push that boundary. Maybe it’s because they see it more often but sometimes it blows my mind to see the things people get away with.
     
  32. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    Most definitely. Probably because we're four circuit judges short and they just can't get around to reading everything.
     
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  33. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    And the ones you've got aren't all that good to begin with.
     
  34. Brandon Chicken

    Brandon Chicken Chow Time
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    Don’t get me started. I was on the phone with a lawyer in Orlando recently and he said they had a dedicated court for business cases. Hell, we can’t even get a dedicated civil court up here. It’s a joke.
     
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  35. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    And some of them are often unpredictable.

    I was literally typing out how I'd do anything to have divisions for different types of cases.
     
  36. Craig Pettis

    Craig Pettis Que será será motherfucker
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    CC97CB3F-49E2-413B-B944-01D78FA93435.jpeg
    I really hate people
     
    #10787 Craig Pettis, Aug 5, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2020
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  37. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    We used to have a commercial litigation docket in Jefferson County. That's kind of gone by the wayside, though, as the quality of our bench has taken a tailspin.
     
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  38. CoastalOrange

    CoastalOrange Well-Known Member
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    An old roommate of mine lost a friend (more than an acquaintance and less than a good friend) over something like this. The guy owned a landscaping business and sent him a text asking him for legal advice. He said sorry but I don't do it for free but if you want some help I'm happy to help at a discounted rate. The guy got all mad about him not being a friend and my roommate lost it. Basically told him to get fucked bc that guy wasn't sending his people over to do free landscaping at our house for free "just bc we are friends". Guy tried to claim there was a difference and my roommate shut it down saying that just bc his career is knowledge based doesn't mean it should be free to all people that know him. Apparently hasn't spoken with that guy sense, which was abt 5 yrs ago.

    /Coolstorybro
     
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  39. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
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    When my friends ask me for pretty minor legal advice like that I give it to them and don't ask for anything in return. In fact I usually bend over backwards to help out any of my friends that need something and never ask for money. Unless it's a personal injury case, then I expect to get paid.
     
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  40. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    But there’s value in that because they’ll refer you personal injury cases. If you do criminal work, you can’t get by doing it for free.
     
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  41. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
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    true. A lot of the time when friends or ppl I know in the community want legal work it's a traffic ticket. One of my partners does personal injury and his second field of practice is criminal work including traffic offenses. He handles all of my friends' traffic tickets at a reduced rate. He's probably getting tired of sitting in City Court on Wednesday nights for pennies on the dollar taking care of traffic tickets.
     
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  42. Craig Pettis

    Craig Pettis Que será será motherfucker
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    I should have been clear on the front end: that wasn’t a friend. I have no idea who it was, most likely someone who googled “Memphis traffic ticket attorney.”
     
  43. Beachy Toast

    Beachy Toast He wants you too, Malachi.
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    They can text you?
     
  44. Craig Pettis

    Craig Pettis Que será será motherfucker
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    I have a text auto response when people call me when I have my work phone set to go straight to voicemail (when I’m in court or out of the office).

    Frankly, I prefer texting with clients and potential clients :twocents:
     
    #10795 Craig Pettis, Aug 5, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2020
  45. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
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    We have some app that lets us text clients from our office without having to give them our personal cells. We use that thing a good bit for staying in touch with clients.
     
  46. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Just had a Judge via Zoom sentence our guy to 224 months. Certainly a casual method to do something so serious.
     
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  47. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    What did he do?
     
  48. Gallant Knight

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    open container
     
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  49. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    He got a sweet heart deal on a robbery (years ago) and now he is on his 2nd violation of probation. The VOP's are just dirty urine. He hasn't been arrested on a new law or anything like that.
     
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