Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Struggler

    Struggler Well-Known Member
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    My involvement so far has been to take the turkey out of the fridge.
    “What size turkey did you buy?”
    “I don’t know. They were all the same.”
    22.57lb turkey for four people. Pretty sure we could serve 20.
     
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  2. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    Lol anyone who actually runs a restaurant knows you just pay an exorbitant amount for the company that built it to tell you what’s wrong and fix it.
     
  3. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    It’s just my boss, his wife, and their “anorexic daughter” (direct quote) but since most people are keeping it small the grocery sold out of small birds and they ended up with a 25lber as well
     
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  4. Russellin4885

    Russellin4885 Well-Known Member
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    My wife is incapable of making a normal amount of food. I don’t usually complain though cause it usually just mean a bunch of food and leftovers for me. This year got away from her though. She cooked like we were having a normal thanksgiving but it was only 5 of us.

    20 lb turkey, 15 lb ham, several trays of sides, and like 4 different deserts. Could have easily fed 20 people.
     
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  5. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    My wife does this but with side dishes. I guess she feels guilty because I make all the protein generally? But seriously, we do not need 7 sides, especially with only four people here. Fucking go and relax.
     
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  6. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
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    Y’all can ship me your leftovers if you want

    pm me for details
     
  7. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Actually they can ship them to me and I’ll put some in your kennel when I feel like you’ve calmed down enough
     
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  8. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    The wife woke me up early morning - after me going pretty hard last night at our friends place (we've all already had COVID, maintained safety, etc)

    She has to go into work today so, fine, I agreed to transport and put all the thanksgiving stuff away back at our place.

    Unbeknownst to me, she schedules maintenance to come replace our water filter so I have to empty about 75% of the fridge.

    This was within roughly 15 minutes of me putting everything away.
     
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  9. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Where the fuck is the water filter in your fridge?
     
  10. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Top right of the fridge part - but you have to clear out the middle and top drawers to be able to get the angle to replace it.

    This is also probably the most ridiculously overpacked fridge I've ever seen because of how much stuff we get sent, thanksgiving, etc.

    But yea - not the most logistically sound location you would think of - Thanks GE.
     
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  11. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Wives love to make sure the entire house is spotless when we’re doing a distance hang on the back porch don’t they folks
     
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  12. REGGNECK

    REGGNECK You wanna know what I been down , DONT BOTHER ME
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    I replace my own filter ...
     
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  13. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I’m not in a house though - in a huge complex that pretty much accomplishes any maintenance request within a few hours barring some disastrous event in the unit.

    She just didn’t give me a heads up of any kind that she put in the request.

    Would obviously do it myself if I didn’t have the option to log into an app and have someone bring up the replacement of any component of the apt and install it.
     
  14. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    There is no way you can beat my fridge, the thing is so packed that I am scared every time I open it. I haven’t seen the back of this thing in like 3 years. It probably looks like this

    upload_2020-11-28_16-49-25.jpeg
     
  15. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    That was an odd episode
     
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  16. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I feel like our fridge fluctuates from entirely empty to 90% of the items inaccessible due to the amount of things in there.

    I’ll sometimes walk up to open the fridge - realize it’s going to be a miserable process to get what I need to make anything decent - and then just sit back down to reflect.

    Literally feast or famine.
     
  17. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    yeah, I won’t lie. It happened that I wanted some mustard but just gave up before trying because the task seemed too complicated for the reward.
     
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  18. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    This might be the most « first world problem » discussion ever
     
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  19. Funshot Residue

    Funshot Residue Mammoth Stabber
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    Absolutely is. Also think my wife is playing 4d chess with my weight-loss the way she stacks items in the cabinet. When you feel pressure against the back of the cabinet door as you open it and make a last minute abort call. I notice the fruit basket doesn't ever have quinoa stacked on top of it..........
     
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  20. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    i know that feeling all too well brother.
     
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  21. Struggler

    Struggler Well-Known Member
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    There’s 3-4 choices of mustard in my refrigerator. Literally need to move mustard to get to mustard.
     
  22. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    As it should be.
     
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  23. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    i think we are on 8. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

    Dijon, baseball, old fashionned, bold and spicy, sweet onions...but that’s on me and not on her. And like a fucking idiot I always prefer the classic ones so all these pimped up mustards stay in the fridge for 2-3 years before we finally throw them out.
     
  24. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Went Xmas shopping with her today
    Forced her to make a list, listing every person she wanted to buy something for, then as she went updating that list with each item she bought

    I bet I saved $500 today just by making her check her list instead of constantly forgetting what she just bought at the previous store and trying to figure out who she bought what for the last days before Christmas

    It fucking sucked going shopping though
     
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  25. b0ne5

    b0ne5 Well-Known Member
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    my wife and I agreed to buy each other one thing for Christmas. She always buys me a pair of shoes and I always buy whatever she tells me. Works out great.
     
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  26. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Congrats on not having any other family
     
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  27. b0ne5

    b0ne5 Well-Known Member
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    she buys xmas for our family. Makes it real easy on me. She prefers it that way and I do too.
     
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  28. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    you might need representation
     
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  29. ButchCassidy

    ButchCassidy Well-Known Member
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    Amazon sent the foot massager in its original box. Wife now has an early Xmas gift, great.
     
  30. billdozer

    billdozer Well-Known Member
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  31. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    After last year's debacle MLS agreed to submit an excel sheet of all family members, budget per, and links to the items being purchased this year.

    Was amazing how little I had to do this time around.
     
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  32. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    My wife won’t take me shopping. When we first got together she thought it would be quality time. That last until she realized how miserable I made her shopping.
     
  33. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    Not shopping together is gonna be in my vows

    assuming someone is dumb enough to marry me
     
  34. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Her thing with me is I’m extremely out going and introduce myself to strangers and it embarrasses her how I talk to random people.
     
  35. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I'm sure this is a thing in a lot of cities - but they literally have husband bars.

    Our Barney's has an area where the husbands can smoke weed and drink while the wives shop.

    Post-Civid this will hopefully become a trend.
     
  36. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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  37. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Goes to Target to buy “cheap Christmas cards” for giving out gifts to teachers, mailman, etc...

    DEF7F45E-77DE-4DFF-8F3A-49115F7F2BE0.jpeg

    A tale as old as time.
     
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  38. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    One doesn’t go to Target only to get cheap Christmas cards. That’s what Walmart and the Dollar Tree/Dollar General are for.
     
  39. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    One of my wife's friends left her phone by our neighbor and my wife is going to see her later tonight so they brought it to us. My wife promptly messages her to let her know we have her phone.

    Also she asked me if Pete Wentz plays for the Eagles and I told her I think he's still with Fall Out Boy.

    I think the mimosas hit her hard.
     
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  40. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    congrats on the sex
     
  41. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    We were notified today that we are apparently in the lead for the most noise complaints in the complex (another unit on the same floor is only 2 behind us so it's not over yet!) - and I know it can't be either direct neighbor making the complaints because one is a model (actual models not like a spec apt) apartment and the other is the couple that mirrors porn onto our apple tv all the time.

    Nonetheless - I feel an achievement has been reached.
     
    #11441 Eathan Edwards, Dec 28, 2020
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2020
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  42. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    We get it you have kinky sex
     
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  43. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Nah - pretty much the entire opposite.

    I'm just so deaf from a decade in nightlife that I have to blare music while I work on the computer to actually hear it.
     
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  44. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Headphones are cool.
     
  45. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Put some goddamn headphones and quiet the fuck down and have some respect for your neighbors

    Is this the "stupid shit your husband boyfriend does" thread now?
     
  46. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I've never heard anything (audio wise) from another neighboring apt - this place is a tank - we obviously have a rogue neighbor that doesn't like us because there are parties next to us all the time and it has never remotely bothered us from a volume standpoint.

    I'm definitely not actively trying to make other tenants upset - and have positive relationships with both of my actual neighbors.

    Anyways - just disregard the premise/story altogether.
     
  47. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    have you heard of headphones
     
  48. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    comgrats on the sex
     
  49. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I would also like to know in which city all of this occurred
     
  50. burnttatertot

    burnttatertot butt tuck zoomies
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    I need to know what you're listening to before I decide if you are the problem or not.
     
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