Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

nm

I'm still a struggle bus with the spoiler situation - not gonna lie.

 

Spoiler: NSFW

 

I said solid - not mind blowing

 

More alarming than the spoiler issue is the shoddy photography. You're missing half the booth meat in the 2nd and the first had a dancing lady in the way

 

She's back at her place now (she was just staying at our place while movers were at her place) - those two were all I got and it was not the primary focus at the time.

Also - I am at best a D- level photographer.

 

Dramatically different subject - mattress shopping with a wife may be the most miserable shopping experience there is.

Pretty confident I'll have to go to at least 6 mattress stores all around the damn city and debate how she will hypothetically sleep.

 

Me - “don’t eat that red soup on the couch it’s a bad idea”

Wife - “it’s fine it’s fine I’ve got it”

60 seconds later

Wife - “SHIT!”

 

Last night at dinner. Not sure how we got on this topic.

Wife: why would you sell some of your vested stock now?

me: what?

wife: it’s vested. That means you can always sell it at least for the vested price, no matter how long you hold it.

me:

wife: you’re wrong. (Pulls out phone and starts googling). Oh….

this wouldn’t be as funny to me if my masters wasn’t in…..finance.

 

How do we educate women that the AC/furnace does not have a turbo mode that activates when you set the dial to an extreme

 

make them understand that they’re wasting money. That money could then be spent on other stupid shit that they don’t need. Should do the trick.

 

My wife looks at the finances like once a quarter. It’s an abstract thing for her.

 

You hang one of these to the wall and say that it's the booster function

 

I think the only prices my wife knows is what the item “was”.
“How much were those shoes?”
They retail $200 but I got them on sale
“...how much were they?”
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

My wife takes that another infuriating step…
“They retail for $200 but I saved $100.”
SHOW ME THE $100 YOU ‘SAVED’ BY SPENDING $100, WOMAN!

 

“It was 30% off, I couldn’t pass it up!”

“It was still 70% on bitch!”

 

Dated a girl like this once. Had a solid five figures in credit card debt when we met. Found out the other day she's recently spent time in a mental institution.

 

Sounds like she’s getting her life together and you need to give it another shot

 

the room was 15% off

 

BessFren accused me of having a tantrum after I asked if she was done wandering in and out of the kitchen and standing in front of he washer as I was trying to load up our dirty cloths from our weekend away. Because I didn’t “tell her what I was doing” cuz me standing there with a handful of cloths in one hand and our bag in the other clearly wasn’t enough of a context clue.

 

Why are you acting like a dick?

 

Whiskey Delta? More like Whiskey Dick, amirite?

 

I'm sleeping and about 4am hear a crazy loud crashing noise. Go downstairs and both top & bottom glass liquor shelves have come down and there's broken glass & booze everywhere on the counter & tile.

Apparently, instead of putting away the 3 huge cheap wine bottles she bought this weekend for an upcoming party she shoe horned them on the top shelf bc she didn't want to take up counter space and then forgot about them. The shelves are only for bottles that i have out for sentimental reasons.

After about 10 minutes of cleaning she comes down and asks why I'm making so much noise and what happened.

She said I can just put up or get other bottles when it's fixed. I told her to go back to bed and not say another word. I can't replace any of them since they were gifts or things bought on trips.

A bottle of Makers Mark from my deceased dad's house, ouzo my friend bought me back from Greece, scotch I got on a trip, expensive schnapps my sister got me in Germany, Gin a friend gave me from when he lived in UK, Rum got in Puerto Rico, Tequila from Mexico, vodka from Ukrainian friend.

I'm so fucking pissed off I just have stayed up bc there's no way I was going to fall asleep and if I go back to bed I might smother her with a pillow.

 

Take it to the "inconsiderate ass, good for nothing, shit my wife says" thread. Damn man that's fucked.

 

And I though my wife pissed me off this weekend. Geez. That sucks. And I don’t even drink.

 

Wife apologized like crazy this morning. When she's half asleep she doesn't think about what she says regarding anyone's feelings. I don't drink that much anymore but I didn't finish those bottles for a reason.

 

Yeah. I’m new to marriage and learned this weekend that when the person you upset with is drinking and it’s late at night it’s best not to say anything. That was my mistake but I’m learning.

 

I don't know if this is an accurate blanket statement or if I'm just weird - but if MLS is half asleep the entire conversation is worthless.

I feel like I'm either fully awake or fully asleep - it appears that women can just be in some form of trance, look awake, and respond without registering anything discussed.

 

Yeah. I was half asleep as well and told her she was the most inconsiderate person ever. Just l around bad form on my part.

 

In my experience you aren't wrong. She will says things with no filter or logic and not really remember it the next day. Probably not the case with all women but it seems pretty common.

 

Drunk fights never go well for me. I just make shit worse by talking because my drunk self is high powered attorney. Then to make it worse I can pass out and deal with it in the morning but she can’t sleep upset so end up being awake for hours on end going nowhere with the conversation.

 

For me its best not to say anything right away in most situations. I tell her to give me an hour to calm down and let off some steam. I'm about 80% less of an asshole if I can have time to relax. If she is upset I walk off and tell her we can talk in an hour and it seems to cut down on fights by about 2/3.

My dad had a temper and would blow up, calm down then apologize. My way seems better

 

The best piece of pre-marital advice I ever got was do not have a serious conversation/disagreement when either tired, hungry, or drunk. We always table the convo to address later.

 

Then watch as she punches it through the dry wall trying to activate turbo mode because she thinks it's a push button.

 

I'd say a solid 95% of arguments in the Eathan household are a result of me correcting her verbiage or line of logic when we're drunk - which is almost always unnecessary..... but I keep going back to that well.

 

Yea, that's just brutal. Even in a drunken state, she should have known not to mess with that shelf.

 

Especially with a young child, I try to forget anything said during sleeping hours

 

my wife and i say some truly terrible things to each other in the middle of the night when one of the kids is crying. We established early on that all is forgiven for things said in moments like that.

 

Obligatory

 

So you drove her car to the beach and didn’t fill it up?

 

Feels like this post leaves the reader with more questions than answers.

So you drove home after being at the place with gas, and didn't get gas? And what now about this backseat?

 

Just accept that part of your job as husband (along with breaking down boxes from Amazon, killing insects, mowing lawn, etc) is filling up your wife’s car.

 

Did you or did you not fill up the car at the beach? Is that question so hard to answer?

 

I keep a 5 gallon gas can full in the back of my truck pretty much all the time.
One of the main reasons is because we live about 10 miles to the nearest gas stations and I am married to a female

 

Nothing quite unites this thread like when someone comes to blame the wife for a goof that only he is responsible for.