Waze is lying to me!! - my wife after missing a turn on the way back to NYC a few weeks ago. Waze also found us a nice gas station in Queens for her to breast feed our newborn. Added an hour to our trip home but hey!
Was a very scary day when my (then) girlfriend figured out that her stylist also cut my previous girlfriend's hair. Things ended about a month later - I've always wondered what was shared.
Completely separate accounts, with me paying for the house and her car (both in my name). But she pays her student loans which is basically a second mortgage and contributes to her 401k, so it's a wash with near equal spending money after that. But we've also only been married a year so it's largely a product of just not getting around to it.
My wife has spent $800 on groceries for thanksgiving. There are 7 of us here. We could probably feed 25 people.
My wife is looking at some lighting. Our house is old and doesn't have neutral wiring, so I told her to stay away from anything with smart features. She asked if that meant lights that turned on by clapping
Wife books a tee time for 12:10 this morning. I tell her I want to leave the house by 11:10. She’s just now getting dressed.
What will happen is we’ll get there in time to just barely stretch, she’ll play like shit and cry about it. I’ve seen this movie.
Feels like the only way to right the ship now is to make a good ball washing joke at the next station
My wife’s snickerdoodle candy cane gingerbread body scrub is so filled with sugar that our shower now has an ant infestation. Nothing a terro trap won’t fix in 48 hours, but stupid shit nonetheless.
Wife backing in the garage tonight. It had rained so she couldn’t see with her camera because of water on the lens. She hits the trash cans and I go and tell her to stop. She says she can’t see so I go behind her to try and help her, and get yelled at for that as well. I’m an asshole
As I’m getting ready for work this morning my GF tells me she’s decided to go into the office too, so I should wait for her. The following happens when I tell her I’m ready to leave: - “Wait for me, I just need to find my jacket and grab my lunch” - She gets into her car and then realizes she doesn’t have her keys - She runs inside to find her keys, I have to go back in and shut off every light she left on. - The grand finale….she backs directly into the trash can.
Driving home from a trip. About 90 min from home. Wife: can we stop? Baby needs a change and I have to pee. me: sure pull into rest stop that is jam packed. her: I’m also hungry, can I grab a quick snack. me: sure. But let’s make it quick. We are only 90 min from home her; I just want chips Me: come out of bathroom to find her in the longest line at the rest stop that is easily 30+ min long. “We are leaving” her: I just need a quick snack. me: we aren’t waiting 30 min for Wendy’s when we are 90 min from home.
Looking back at my Ring, because I was going to send her the video as a troll. The best part might be the fact she stopped right before the trash can and waited for a car to go by then proceeded to back into it. For the record she has a backup camera.
Unfortunately you can’t see much. Since she stopped before hitting the trash can, she basically idled into it. So all you see is her car stopping, then backing up and stopping again. Might need to figure out an alternate angle for when this surely happens again in like two weeks.
lol the only sort of “defense” she will get from me is clarifying that for whatever reason her car doesn’t beep when it gets close to anything. At least that I’m aware of.
Wife just realized next weekend is Christmas She's now freaking out cause we are going out of town this weekend, she is supposed to work all week next week, and she claims none of her shopping is done. Though she started shopping before Thanksgiving
Yea But even though her phone is logged into our account, she literally sends me screen shots of stuff on amazon.com and asks me to order it
This is blowing my mind. I kinda have beef with Amazon because of how easy they make it to order shit
My parents bought My kid a powerwheels type Jeep for his birthday. my wife threw away the charger. Try explaining that to a two year old
by mistake? it’s his first experience in women managing anything car related so that lesson should be valuable for him later in life. Just do it yourself