While he didn't die my best friend who is like my brother is moving abroad in 6 months. Didn't expect it to bring up feelings, but realized I won't have any male "relatives" around anymore. Fucked with me more than expected and have been dreaming about my deceased father lately. I have a wife, sister and mother, but I'm the only guy left. I don't want kids bc of a shitty childhood so don't see it changing. It's weird what fucks with you and opens old wounds. I used to be against moving away from KC but dgaf anymore. Weird
I’m sorry man, I know the feeling. March will be 10 years since mine passed. Time doesn’t heal, it just makes the pain feel less sharp.
I know the holidays are particularly tough from a grieving standpoint. Thinking of all of you dealing with loss.
This made the rounds on social media a few weeks ago and I thought it was incredibly touching and insightful… “grief is unexpressed love”, I hope anyone dealing with grief, loss, finds some comfort in it.
The end of 21 was pretty tough for me. Lost my childhood best friend in September. And I mean a dude I was with basically every day from 4 until about 21. We played on the same travel baseball and football teams and our dads coached and were also best friends. Our moms have been friends for 40+ years. We were roommates freshman year of college. He even lived with us for a couple of months in HS when him and his dad were fighting. Basically if you saw one of us during that time, you saw us both. He got into drugs pretty bad and just couldn’t quit the habit. Went to rehab 5-6 times and would quit for a little bit then start right back up. We were still friends and I tried helping but it was never the same after that. OD’d at 31. He has a 5 year old boy that looks and acts just like him and he’s honestly helped me get through it. fast forward a couple of weeks after that and my dad got really sick with covid. Ended up getting pneumonia also and was on a ventilator for a couple of weeks. Just watched him slowly die and go from a healthy 56 year old to someone you barely recognize. We literally played golf 2 days before he went in the hospital and he was perfectly fine and healthy. They called us the morning of the UGA Arkansas game and told us we needed to come up there and say our goodbyes. Had about 25-30 family and friends in there and it was the hardest day of my life no doubt. Just having to see him suffer and fight, but also always remembering how fast it happened. He was his normal self a few weeks before it happened and then you barely even recognize him the day he passed. I can’t really enjoy playing golf like I used to. Just doesn’t feel the same. I coach baseball and I’d call him otw home after every practice or game. Just feels like there’s a huge part of me missing still. Last conversation I had with him before he got too sick to talk was about how this is the year the Braves get over the dodgers hump and the Dawgs get over the Bama hump. He was convinced it was our year to win it all in both. So when it happened I was obviously pumped, but still just didn’t feel right without him here to call afterwards or read his texts during the game freaking out Then about a month after my dad, my childhood best friend that died in September’s little brother died. He was 2 years younger than us and was basically my little brother. I looked out for him more than his brother did tbh. It was the biggest shock of my life. He was doing great and got his life together and had a good job and nice apartment and just seemed to finally have it all figured out and was somewhat moving on from the losses he suffered recently. He got really sick and didn’t tell anyone and they found him dead in his apartment one morning after he didn’t show up to work and wouldn’t answer anyone. It honestly didn’t even feel real to me. All I’ve been able to think about is his dad, who was my dads best friend. Lost your 2 sons and best friend in a 3 month stretch. It’s like you can’t even finish processing one of them and then the next one happened. I talk to his dad 3/4 times a week and you can only imagine how he’s taken it. He even said the other day “you know a lesser man would probably just off himself, but your dad would beat my ass if he knew I quit so I’m gonna keep going”
Man, I don’t even know what to say. Stay strong and be there for the people who need you, but don’t forget to take time and grieve for yourself as well.
Yeah gotta take time to process it no matter how painful. You got your whole like left to live and you don't want it to manifest itself in some unhealthy way years down the road
Today marks 3 years since my stepdad, the biggest influence on my life, passed unexpectedly. It's also his birthday. It gets easier, but there's still a massive void. Wishing all of you dealing with losses the strength to focus on the good times and continued healing.
I felt like I was the one kinda holding everyone together. My sister was a mess, my step mom was a mess, step sister was a mess. Step bros both live in Nashville so they weren’t around as much when we’d be at the hospital every day. Then after he passed i had to get all the finances in order and split it between my sister, step mom, and me. Had to fill out tons of paperwork and talk to his financial advisor and get everything straightened out and now it’s all done and I feel like I’ve started the grieving process for real last month or so. It’s been tougher than it was back in October and over the holidays for me
This a thousand times over. My grief manifested itself into severe anxiety (which I've never dealt with prior) 8 months later. Flat out knocked me on my ass.
Found out my childhood best friend killed himself last night and all I can think about is how I wasn't there for him...haven't seen him for about a decade but still hang with his little brother when I'm home. Left behind an 8 year old daughter. Please please please talk to someone if you're in distress. So many people love you
I lost my dad 3 months ago today. Less than 2 years after he was able to completely kick his addiction to prescription pills and we had repaired our relationship. Some days like today are just harder than others.
I didn’t know this thread existed and I’m happy it does. Not properly grieving too many times ballooned into a substance abused fueled mental breakdown. I’m grateful now for the clarity and having felt some of the harder parts of the grieving process I skipped. Really feel for anyone dealing with loss right now. The shit sucks. Hoping things get better for you.
My mom passed away this year. Last 3 years were rough but the last few months watching her wither away were brutal. Most days I’m cool, but sometimes the grief just hits out of no where.
7 months ago we lost my wife’s first born son, my step-son, who passed away in his sleep. He was 22 years old, my wife found him in bed when she went in to wake him up from work. I could hear her scream for me from the backyard and I’ll never forget the sound. He was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when he was 10. My wife spent the next 12 years fighting to keep him alive since he didn’t manage his condition very well, as most teens don’t, but he was finally starting to manage it better. Blood sugar went low while sleeping and we assume he never woke up or wasn’t conscious enough to do anything about it. The grief our family has gone through, in particular my wife’s, has been the hardest thing I’ve ever witnessed or experienced. We have a 2 year old and a 5 year old who don’t really understand what’s going on but still need their mom. she isn’t able to be fully there for them, and feels guilty about it. She is in counseling and in support groups which helps, because there isn’t anyone else who can understand how she feels except them. Being a part of her grief has shown that I have some serious unresolved grief issues over the loss of my parents that I didn’t know were even there. This shit is hard.
That’s rough. I can’t imagine the loss of a child. I have had two of my best friends lose children. The hard one was a 16 year old daughter killed by drunk driver. Wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone
I love you and your wife. 2 of the nicest, realest, and most genuine people I have ever met. You both will get through this, although it will continue to be tough. Love, prayers, and good vibes your way.
Idk how people make it through losing a kid. One of my biggest fears is I would not make it through that kind of loss from just not being able to emotionally handle it. I saw a woman in an interview who lost a child and she said she allowed herself to fall to pieces for ~5 minutes a day and then she goes on with the rest of her day, or tries. This was well after her child's death and the extreme acute phase of the loss. Don't know my point but I'd prob try something like that if I were in that situation. Good luck guys
Man I hate to hear that. I’m sorry for your lost. lost my dad three years ago as I posted in this thread before. That shit right there, the absolute sadness and grief just randomly out of no where is a gut punch every time.
I want to applaud you. For being able to reach out here, for being so humane and thoughtful and reflective. I'm sorry that sound will haunt you. I've had dreams where that was the worst case scenario and it shocked me awake. It's not going to be easy and you know it. But I think you have it in you and you're going to make it through. And the people you love need you to. All my love.
I’m just a guy on the internet but I really do give a shit about people here. May be weird or whatever but these day to day interactions probably got me through some dark moments in my life. It’s funny how you can find a place in this world to debate or discuss your niche beliefs or ideas with people and how that starts to mean something to you. I think it’s fair that I care about that. I think it’s honorable that we care about each other’s pain.
Have had a very weird week. Pretty much my mom is not close with her siblings and kinda moved away for I guess you could say a more prosperous life and I really haven't kept in touch with any of them. My uncle died who I've seen like twice in 20 years and went to all this for my mom but feel like such a fucking outsider as all these people have lived in Ohio their whole life. My sister and mom are amazing with small talk, I kinda suck. 3 of my 4 uncles also married absolutely crazy people. This probably belongs in random thoughts thread. Condolences to all of you going through tough times.
My 6 year old daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes almost 5 months ago so this is hitting extra close to home. So sorry for your family’s loss.
Just found this thread. Took a couple days to read, too much to absorb in one sitting. Prayers and support for those who need it. Many feels here...
This got ramped up 100 fold today. The craziest uncle's wife took pictures of everything. I said it was 6/10 crazy by her standards which are amazingly high, sister and mom said 7/10. I went to my uncle's estranged wife's mom's house for the reception. Never met her in my life, her house smelled like old people and cats. She also told the same story about my uncle at least 15 times but she's old and was low on my weird scale. My mom got into a bit of a beef over the will. Fun times, I'm drinking and glad I'm done with Dayton, Ohio for the time being.
A close friend is dying, and it’s really bringing up every other death I’ve grieved. I oddly feel guilty for feeling the other deaths instead of focusing on his inevitably, and I also feel guilty for grieving him before he’s actually dead.