Haven't answers the question: working as a lineman. On a very public road, very exposed. Trying to be respectful of the neighbors. In retrospect, fuck em.
Nope ETA: I've suddenly turned too old to understand how to imbed gifs. Time to take me out back and shoot me.
I have wish I could give you scratch and sniff. I didn't know what else to do so I put the who schebang in my trunk. Big mistake
You could probably just dump off a boat. Where I live,I'm installing fiber to mc mansion hell. And I'm new. So,yeah, in the future I'm an animal be the shit falls where it may. But it was pouring and...well, so was my ass. I was trying to be respectful. Big mistake
Like nothing ever before, hence the post. Next closest was shitting on the sidewalk in NYC. Otherwise, there's a church I deflied twice. Their parking lot, if the ly have a cam, has me dropping a log and defiling a sinner gal. So be it
Absolutely disgusting that someone would shit in a plastic grocery bag. Spoiler Next time be a little more environmentally friendly and use a paper bag or reusable bag.
I drank alot one Friday night recently. We went to Chickfila for lunch and on the way home while riding shotgun in my wife's new Yukon I felt my stomach rumble a bit. I had to sneeze and when I did a lot of liquid was released. I told her what I did and she started laughing thinking I was joking. Luckily we were 2 minutes from the house and I had to sit in liquid shit for that long. She kept thinking I was kidding until I went to get out of the car and there was a small brown puddle in the seat. I had to take the walk of shame straight to the shower while she went inside to clean the leather seats. I felt so bad but shit happens.
Son had an accident today (not shit) and my fart betrayal a few months ago came back to save the day.
I had a pretty bad food poisoning/stomach bug on Friday. Just ridiculous pain up high on my torso, and the filthiest liquid shits for all day. I drank about a gallon of water and it just kept. coming. out. Same on Saturday and Sunday, but just less. Saturday, slightly better. Sunday, made the mistake of ice cream before bed. Shits were so raw Monday morning that I was on the toilet off and on for two hours. Worst part, though, was that I sort of scratched my butthole to stimulate a fart. Two days in a row got wet shits on my hand doing this. Fucking sucks. Still have diarrhea but at least not as bad.
Rocking usually gets the poop flowing for me. I’ll tickle my brown eye next time to see if that helps too.
And right before bed itt we learn ramszoolander just enjoys shitting himself from time to time - not shaming.
lol I'm serious. No idea why that seems to get things going. And yes, I'm dumb, not sure why I did that twice. It has been a miserable week. I am happy to report that my 2am poop was the first normal one I've had in a week. #smallvictories
I read the title change as fart simulation and came in here thinking it was about the new Alexa program called Big Fart that my 3 year old loves. She makes fart sounds on command and describes them. "Would you like to hear a squelchy fart?" We love it too.
I did have liquid diarrhea this week for a couple of days, but proud to report my sphincter stood strong in the face of certain doom.
I am fucking crying laughing right now. Holy shit at that story. The insanity to have dairy before bed when your stomach has been fucked plus scratching farts out of your ass? Just an insane one, two punch
Against my better judgment I'll stand with ramszoolander here. Not sure I've ever barehanded it, but while pooping I will occasionally take some paper in my hand and give a my brown eye a bit of a jostle and it does help encourage the flow of things.
I mean think about it. Dude is over here shitting liquid and then he tells us he's sticking his finger up his butthole to help get things going? I'm not sure, but I don't think oll ramszoolander is a smart man